American Idol's Ellen DeGeneres Sits On Simon Cowell's Lap and Nibbles on His Ear
HOLLYWOOD - Well after weeks of watching fellow American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi cuddling, nuzzling, and caressing Simon Cowell, Ellen DeGeneres appeared at the show's opening snuggled next to Cowell and kissing the self-proclaimed Royal Rude Dude...Read full story
No Training or Equipment: Venables Had No Chance
Joint-murderer of James Bulger Jon Venables, who has been returned to custody after allegedly violating the terms of his release, has been badly let down by Gordon Brown and his incompetent government, I was told by a senior figure with a handlebar m...Read full story
Posh Spice Furious As Beckham Booed On His Return To Old Trafford
Victoria Beckham left Old Trafford last night in an absolute rage after seeing husband David roundly booed by Manchester United fans when he came on as a substitute for Milan in his first match as an opponent since leaving Old Trafford for Real Madri...Read full story
Not very famous actor dies in not very interesting way
The internet was awash today with the news of the death of an actor who nobody particularly cared about when he was alive. The star of nothing of any note was found dead in his apartment early this morning. He is thought to have died in not suspic...Read full story
Moon hits man's eye like a big pizza pie
NAPLES, ITALY - - Today the moon hit a man's eye like a big pizza pie. Scientists believe, "That's amore." The victim, Giuseppe Baghadonuts, told emergency medical workers who arrived on the scene that the world had begun to shine like he'd had t...Read full story
Malcolm Glazer Is The Spawn Of The Devil Says Expert
As all the gory details are gradually rising to the fore regarding the Glazer family's ruthless financial exploitation of Manchester United FC, we decided that it was high time we investigated whether there was a case to answer, or whether the Manche...Read full story
Sir Elton John: Alien Probe Made Me Gay!
Sir Elton John, one of the greatest rock stars of all time with over 250 million records sold as of the end of last year, made a startling statement yesterday to "The Blue Rock" Music Magazine. In the summer of 1957 when Elton was only ten years o...Read full story
Pathologists delve for 'chemical silver bullet' as The Lost Boys star Corey Haim is found dead
Los Angeles - (Propofool Mess): Corey Haim, star of cult vampire movie The Lost Boys has died in Los Angeles of a suspected overdose. He was 38. Shocked friends have asked the LAPD to check if a rogue batch of cocaine may be implicated. Last y...Read full story
Anne Nicole Smith Opera to hit town, snobby opera fans can't wait to see Anne's soprano boobs swaying!
The Royal Opera house in London is about to premiere an Opera about Anne Nicole Smith, dead Playboy pin-up, stripper and ex-wife of Billionaire, J Howard Marshall who was 89 when they married and she "shagged him to death". The opera will show exp...Read full story
Alderville Road patio corpse: is it Gracia Morton or another Tobin victim?
Fulham - (Cadaver Mess): Forensic scientists examining the remains of a body discovered under a Fool'em patio are staying tightlipped. By late this afternoonn however police sources said the corpse buried in the back garden at 38A Alderville Roa...Read full story
Howard Stern Announces: Hold Your Calls Folks, We've Just Found Someone Bigger Than Kirstie Alley - Gabourney Sidibe
NEW YORK CITY - Radio talk show host Howard Stern has remarked that the humongous Oscar nominee for Best Actress Gabourney Sidibe (pronounced PLEASE DON'T SIT ON ME) will never make another movie, TV commercial, infomercial, public service announceme...Read full story
Oldest women on the planet is Spoof writers Grandma, she's been stuck in her rocking chair for 50 of them!
The oldest women on the planet is 130 and one of the Spoof's more "wayward weirdo" (starts with J and ends with E) writers claims to be her Grandchild! This women has been seen wandering in an abandoned hotel stuck on a hill in Tunbridge Wells.Read full story
Book Cover Made Of Human Skin Develops Psoriasis!
Wealthy entrepreneur David Wayne Haskins of Clarksville, Tennessee has many volumes of rare books an has one whole shelf of some 34 books that are hundreds of years old and he was shocked lately after pulling down a copy of "Peter's Complaint" to sho...Read full story
All Moslems Turn Into Water Overnight
In a strange, miraculous occurance that scientists are unable to explain, all of the Moslems in the world were turned into water at exactly 6:00 a.m., GMT. Persons who witnessed this said that "all at once, there was a six foot tall pillar of water...Read full story
Bigger Breasts Not A Sign Of Intelligence
Women with larger breasts are not more intelligent than their flat chested counterparts according to a $10,000,000 government funded study carried out by the University of Georgia. Accademics discovered that there was no corrilation between a woma...Read full story
"Don't Ask Don't Tell" Proposed for US Congress
As the nations capitol was rocked by the news of the behavior of Congressman Eric Massa (D-N.Y., a Democratic Congressman has proposed a bill that would duplicate the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" law for members of the US Congress. A Democr...Read full story
Large Hadron Collider Closes
The Large Hadron Collider (not to be confused with the small one) is to close next year, well for the school holidays at least. At a cost 80 gazillion Euros and covering the equivalent of 140 NCP car parks the collider has been dogged by problems...Read full story
'Cockney London Black Cabs to be Phased Out by 2012'
The Mayor of London's Transport Secretary, Kulveer Ranger, announced today plans to phase out the world famous Cockney Black Cab, citing the popular mode of transport, 'expensive and unintelligible' for a modern London. At a news conference, Mr.Read full story
Bizarre Plot to Kidnap Irish Artist Foiled; 7 Followers of Cult Painter Bob Ross Arrested!
The Irish Flying Squad, so named since they're usually drinking on duty, crushed a bizarre plot in Waterford, arresting more than 7 non working immigrants who had planned to abduct a local artist for 'blasphemy' against Cult Leader Bob Ross known for...Read full story
Katie Price Back In UK
Role-model Katie Price has landed back in the UK after her exhaustive tour of parties in Los Angeles. The Prime Minister has declared a national holiday so the public can celebrate the return of our most cherished glamour model. Spontaneous street...Read full story
Miley Cyrus, Liam Hemsworth Marriage? Miley Talks!
If there's one thing that's always true with Miley Cyrus, she cannot keep a secret. If it's another, she can't help but leave people shaking their heads at her words and actions. After twice having to apoloize to oriental fans about the slanted ey...Read full story
Jihad Jane's existence first reported by satire site in January
London - (Peroxide Ass Mess): A report back in January by Spoof writer Queen Mudder first exposed the existence of a 'dumb blond granny' suicide bomber linked to yesterday's arrest of Irish Al-Qaeda suspects. Forty-six year-old peroxide grandma Fa...Read full story
Psychiatric report said Gorgon Brown was 'a negligible risk'
London - (Fraudian Slip): Whitehall shrinks assessed the 'psychologically floored' Prime Monster as mostly harmless and said he posed only a 'trivial risk' to the public, according to newly published archives. The analysis paved the way for the ma...Read full story
Gordon Brown Refuses To Answer PMQs
There were shocking scenes this lunchtime as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom zone of Europe, Gordon Brown, flatly refused to answer any questions at Westminster. Sitting down on the front bench he sat with his arms folded and whispered to Cha...Read full story
5 Annoying Things that DOGS do on Facebook
This story is in retaliation to Askmen.com's article titled 'Crazy Things Women Do On Facebook' and Cosmo online's retaliation article titled '5 Annoying Things Guys Do on Facebook.' This is in retaliation to both those dumb articles. 5 Annoying Things Dogs Do on Facebook 1. Dogs get their own profiles. Really? Does a dog deserve his/her own Facebook profile, or even a Facebook fan page?...Read full story
Boring BBC to raise TV license Fee again
The Boring BBC is raising the TV license fee again to £145.50 in the age of satellite television when there are hundreds of thousands of people who don't give a rats arse about BBC TV programmes. John Stewart of Edinburgh is wanting everyone to or...Read full story
Jihad Jane the World's Dumb Blonde Terrorist
Colleen R LaRose a 46 year old Blonde American woman dubbed herself Jihad Jane. She was intent on recruiting terrorists using the internet and plotting to attack targets in Europe. Jihad Jane was so dumb she tried to recruit people using you tube...Read full story
Jake Pavelka Voted The Dumbest Bachelor In The History of Bachelorhood
DALLAS - Jake Pavelka the star of this year's The Bachelor reality show says that he is not 100 percent sure that he made the right decision. Pavelka, who is an airline pilot, revealed to Barbara Walters that a lot of passengers who are aware that...Read full story
Scientists Agree On Who Killed Off The Dinosaurs- But It Was Really Noah
Scientists from around the world have gathered together for a conference to agree once and for all on what exactly killed off all the dinosaurs so many millions of years ago. They have reached the agreement that it was an meteor strike that made the...Read full story
Piers Morgan Says He Has Pictures of Sharon Osbourne's Breasts Which She Is Putting Up On eBay
SOHO, England - Piers Morgan, one of the judges on Britain's Got Talent, as well as a judge on America's Got Talent said that he read where Sharon Osbourne is not at all happy with her 'boob job' and plans to have them removed. Mrs. Osbourne state...Read full story
Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez To Star In "The Brenda Song - Ashley Tisdale Story"
HOLLYWOOD - Hannah Montana's Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez of The Wizards of Waverly Place will be starring in the Pictures motion picture, The Brenda Song - Ashley Tisdale Story." Both seventeen year olds are thrilled and as happy as termites in a...Read full story
Abel Rodriquez has Spoof Generating Software
Just how can a spoof writer gain 7000 Spoof points in one week? You can't without help. And that is why Abel Rodriquez is so productive, or is it verbose? He is using advanced software offering, named Chelsea Spoof Generator, that writes a...Read full story
Dramatic tectonic shift from Chilean quake alters time itself
Santiago,Chile. In this South American country, the capitol moved 20 feet farther West. Buenos Aires also jumped just slightly Westward. But other issues connected with the shaking earth have appeared. Scientists have calculated that the planet's...Read full story
New NASA Space Shuttle to Save Billions, Plus Naked Astronauts
Jupitor, Florida - Ahead of a conference with President Obama, NASA officials launched a pre-emptive strike designed to show their seriousness in efforts to reduce costs to the space program. The new shuttle program will recycle old aircraft from...Read full story
Miley Cyrus and Her "Last Song" Co-Star Liam Hemsworth Are Secretly Engaged!
ROSWELL, New Mexico - Miley Cyrus was in town visiting The International UFO Museum & Research Center with her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth. A reporter with The Roswell Daily Chronicle asked her about her soon-to-be-released movie "The Last Song."...Read full story
Black Dolls Sell For Less Than White Dolls In Louisiana
MONROE, Louisiana - Shoppers at a local store have expressed surprise, outrage, and segregated anger at the fact that black dolls are selling for $3, whereas white dolls are selling for $5.93. Long time shopper, Vynetta May Portington, who is an...Read full story