"ENERGY bosses have said the Tees Valley has the potential to build a strong offshore wind supply chain, as the UK's first turbine training tower was unveiled"
Direct quote from Middlesbrough's Evening Gazette.
Well blow me down with a feather. They're catching up 'over 'ome aren't they?
We have wind turbines all along the Lake Erie shoreline where I live and work.
The ones in the Tees area are also going to double up as 'absailing' venues. Anyone wishing to absail down one of the towers will have to fill in an application form in triplicate and pay a fee of fifty quid for the honour of absailing down one of the towers.
Any birds who fly into the turbines blades and are subsequently killed, will become the property of the first person to find them. As most of them will be pigeons or gulls, it is hoped the poorer folk will be taking advantage of this rule and thereby be able to put meat on the table at last.
Another useful application of the wind turbines, recently announced is that any of the Boro football players who get yellow carded in any match, will be tied to one of the blades and left there for 4 hours whilst they contemplate the error of their ways.
Also, not missing a trick, the local government will be charging a fee of five quid to anyone wishing to get close enough to video-tape these players.
Anyone managing to catch vomit from said players, is to be given the freedom to sell it on e.bay BUT and there is always a BUT, they MUST give 10% of what they receive in cash, to Middlesbrough Football Club to put towards buying next year's kit.
Where do I come into all of this? Well I WROTE it didn't I?
