Grandpa Ganja On How to Roll a Zen Joint
I first heard of Zen during WWII when I was a mere stripling, though all I knew about it was that you could shoot arrows like William Tell if you were high on the stuff. Since it was tied to Japan and this was WWII, Zen wasn't real popular with most Americans, anyway, so I gave it a miss. Then, I learned Zen was about more than archery, that it was free but very expensive, easy but hard, clea...
Read full storyVernal Equinox/Passion Sunday/Month of Splendor/Sun Trine Mars shocker!
London - (Portents): The sky's on celestial viagra this Sunday as stunning astrological tumescence heralds the start of the zodiac's new year. The Aries Sun trines with Mars, sexybeast god of war in the sign of Leo, celestial big puss and cat-tha...
Read full storyNostradamus Society sue Makers of the Film 'Idiocracy'
Claiming violation of copy write protection the Nostradamus Society sued 20th Century Fox and the producers of the cult film Idiocracy. The action stems from newly uncovered and deciphered quatrains written by the famous French guy and seer that...
Read full storyLady Gaga Remembers His Boyhood Days
According to a new article in "The Two", Lady Gaga told them about his boyhood days growing up in New York City. "Those were great days. The other guys and me weren't a gang or part of a gang but we would slip up to Central Park and pull pranks on...
Read full storyAdolf Hitler Reportedly Alive and Living in Mexico City with Conjoined Jewish Twins
Mexico City- Shocking reports out of Mexico City suggest that Adolf Hitler is alive and has been cohabitating with Jewish conjoined twins, Golda and Miriam Slotski, since 1962. "I saw him. I swear I did. I couldn't believe my eyes, but I definite...
Read full storyFrench General Threatens China, then Quickly Takes it Back
Paris- French officials are scrambling this afternoon in an apparent effort to appease their enraged Chinese counterparts. The dispute began with reports of an ill-advised boast made by General Pierre Petit on the French Riviera Monday afternoon...
Read full storyFemale Comedy Writers sue Letterman; Name Cuff as Co Defendant.
In an effort to highlight the plight of female writers in the comedy field their representatives filed a sweeping civil suit in Federal court asking for class status since they can't achieve it on their own. The Comediennes Union of Nipple Talent...
Read full storyKelly Crabtree get back here
Kelly Crabtree walked away from the Street tonight. Not for good, I hope. Corrie spoof writers, please spare a thought for our non UK writers who are months behind with the plot. But I'll tell you anyway Lady G, since you lost the plot years ago.
Read full storyRobert Pattinson pissed as a newt
Robert Pattinson the young star of that vampire Movie, Twilight, got totally pissed yesterday after drinking far to much while partying to celebrate his new Movie REMEMBER ME. Outside the Ivy Club in London at Twilight Pattinson was being helped b...
Read full storyBullocks To You Too Sandra - Brits React Angrily To Oscar Winner's Snub
Britain responded angrily today to being snubbed by Oscar winning actress Sandra Bullock, who cancelled a personal appearance at a premiere screening of her film 'The Blind Side' in London. The London Evening Paper went so far as to run a banner h...
Read full storyOrdinary Man Displaced from Home by Travelers Seeks Solace in Drink!
A man, a quite ordinary man, a natural born citizen of Britain, and a hard working man indeed by all accounts, was finally driven to drink today after a run in with the National Tourist Board that threatened him with an ASBO and incarceration after...
Read full story'Aliens in Dutch army responsible for Bosnian genocide,' ex-Nato commander tells US Senate hearing
Washington AC/DC - (Friendly Fire): "I blame aliens, faggots and gypsies," a retired general told a Senate Armed Services Committee's 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy tribunal today. "The Dutch army's overrun by them, it was a massacre," Gen John Sh...
Read full storyAdult Kids Meal: Hillary Clinton Bobble-Head McVibrator
Responding to criticism that senior citizens are unhappy because they are not allowed to buy the Kids Meals that include toys for children, the MacDiddy's Corporate Headquarters issued a statement saying that in deference to a generation of fast food...
Read full storyMadoff Tosses Salad, Prefers Syrup
In a stunning disregard for the traditions and customs of cellblock 6, famed ponzi schemer Bernard Madoff boldly chooses syrup over jelly as the salve of choice for eating ass. Madoff's cellmate and mentor, J.T. Wilson recalls the event. "It wa...
Read full storyMime's New Invisible Cube Is Bullet-Proof!
Clarence "Silent" Fizzle the mime from West Virginia has created a bullet-proof invisible cube! Mimes the world over went bonkers and hopped and flapped everywhere until somebody slapped them down, upon seeing the news. "Too many innocent mime...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson Seen With Nina Dobrev Of The Vampire Diaries
Whoa! Someone has their vampire shows mixed as several tabloids showed Robert Pattinson with Nina Dobrev on his arm headed to a private showing of a new movie and some TV episodes, where reporters weren't allowed inside. However, "ushers", if you...
Read full storyThe book of Gobble-de-gook goes on sale on ebay
A copy of the book of Gobble-de-gook has gone on sale on Ebay after the seller noticed a story on TheSpoof.com about the book that every politician, every bureaucrat and every writer who writes fancy way out stories needs. Any person who is new to...
Read full storyMail Order Bride Disappointed By Husband's Tiny Package
Thai mail order bride Hoo Flung Dat Wilson was granted a decree nisi by Hastings magistrates as she expressed deep disappointment at the size of her husband Jack's matrimonial package. Speaking through an interpreter, Dat Wilson, as she is now kno...
Read full storyScientists at the Hadron Collider set record for "Jim Beam" energy
A record three times the energy level was achieved at the recently restarted European Organization for Nuclear Research center in Geneva, Switzerland yesterday. The collider's usual speed limit is set at 1 Trillion electron volts but overly celeb...
Read full storyThe Two Justins - Justin Bieber and Justin Timberlake To Record A Duet
IDAHO FALLS, Idaho - Noted singer, songwriter, musician, actor, dancer, and world renowned French fry maker Justin Timberlake was in town to purchase two boxes of his favorite potatoes. He was asked what projects he has coming up for the rest of t...
Read full storyJesse James Says He Is Not The Bad Guy - "Hey My Wife (Sandra Bullock) Kissed Meryl Streep On The Mouth!
LOS ANGELES - Mr. Sandra Bullock, aka Jesse James, was asked if the alleged allegations that he was comparing intimate tattoos with an ex-Amish stripper named Michelle "The Bombshell" McGee were true. Jesse shook his head and asked, "The bitch is...
Read full storyLady Gaga Spreads Legs For Amy On Flight
Last night, on a flight to New Zealand, Lady Gaga found herself in a position with HER LEGS WIDE OPEN, and she definitely wasn't whistling Dixie! She would NOT want YOU or anyone to SEE what she was doing!!! But what happened will shock you a...
Read full storyTees Valley Wind Turbines and ME
"ENERGY bosses have said the Tees Valley has the potential to build a strong offshore wind supply chain, as the UK's first turbine training tower was unveiled" Direct quote from Middlesbrough's Evening Gazette. Well blow me down with a feather. They're catching up 'over 'ome aren't they? We have wind turbines all along the Lake Erie shoreline where I live and work. The ones in the Tee...
Read full storyNessynappers free on bail
It's true, the Nessynappers have made bail. Apparently the husbands of two of the fanatics have posted bail for all imprisoned Red Scarf Brigade members. Bail has been set at $300,000,000,000 American. The conditions of their bail is laid out in court documents as follows: 1. The women will not be allowed to listen to any music or watch any videos of Susan Boyle 2. They...
Read full storyTebbit turns up again
Police officers detained Lord Tebbit the rottweiler today at Heathrow Airport on his return from South America. Tebbit, still wearing his Fuhrers uniform after a dash to Argentina, Bolivia and Ecuador where he had been visiting several of the "ex naz...
Read full storySusan Boyle inundated with TV offers
The hairy chinned warbler has potentially struck gold with offers now coming in from ITV, BBC and even Hollywood! 'Subo' as she is now affectionately known is said to be 'chuffed to bits' at the chance to get her mug on TV again so we took a look at...
Read full storyCanadian's alerted by Skoob1999's article about Bogus Mothers. FARTS to be deployed.
Canadians are on the alert after reading Skoob1999's article about Bogus Mothers operating in UK on Mothers' Day. Mothers' Day in Canada isn't until May. A special squad is being trained, as I type. They have all read Skoob1999's article and, fe...
Read full storyChairty Relief
With the success of Sports Relief and Comic Relief, charity organisations are jumping on the bandwagon and adding to the charity calendar with a whole raft of new Relief formats. High powered businessmen can now look at April 15th of each year to...
Read full storyCanada Invades Michigan's Upper Peninsula
Canadian forces have launched a daring Invasion of Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Dressed in green suits they chose March 17th to cross the Poe Locks into Sault St. Marie. Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm was quoted as saying, "I thought the U...
Read full storyRecipe for old age
The world's media descended on Grimsby today as Ernest Spangler Britain's oldest person celebrated his 117th birthday. Ernest who was born in 1893 has lived through the reign of 6 Monarchs and 23 Prime Ministers and fought in the Great War as a 22 ye...
Read full storyObama Reschedules the Apocalypse
President Obama rescheduled the apocalypse citing various conflicts. "As we all know the Mayan calendar and various other firm sources prove that the world will end on December 21st 2012. After diligent review I, as God's representative on earth, hav...
Read full storyHuman Tongues Growing Out Of Gravesites in US
It is a phenomenon that has been reported occurring all over the US in the last few months, what appears to be a human tongue is growing out of the ground at numerous grave sites. While the news media has been slow to report it for fear of mass hyste...
Read full storyIs Osama bin Laden in custody?
In my interviews called 'Tell us the truth' I meet with Rimmer Romesfeld - Press Officer of some 15 years with the CIA. I asked - Is it true Afghan police have inadvertently caught Osama bin Laden on a road heading to Kandahar? "All I can say is that last week a beardy little tosser was apprehended for a broken tail light on his scooter. We stop them all time especially if they look a little...
Read full storySonia 'likeness' discovered in deepest Wales
A misguided family are thanking their lucky stars twice over this morning after a competition brought nationwide attention to what hacks are calling a Natalie Cassidy 'lookalike' Wynnedo Lleyker, 36, won the 'Do you have a yeast affection?' contes...
Read full storyJohn Barrowman dyes, aged 43
John Barrowman, the Beeb's light entertainment luminary, has dyed (his hair). The Glasgow born fart-throb enjoyed a healthy birthing back in the sixties but was shocked to learn of major pigment failure a "couple of years ago". The Radio Times pin...
Read full storyIs Jon Venables the father of twins?
London - (Rotters): The paternity of two year old tots 'Jamie and Robbie Smith' - currently in the care of 'Baby P' social services - was being probed today amid reports they are Jon Venables' kids. Police officers swooped on Venables in his HMP B...
Read full storyPychaitrists Identify The Spoofers Dilemma
Genetisits in Cambridge, MA have identified Spoofers , those guys who write goofy fiction, are blessed and cursed with a genetic mutation. The mutation gives the capacity to appreciate the warping of reality, an ironic sense that regular stuff could...
Read full storyFillery Bumstead Comes Home
Fillery Bumstead came home last night to be greeted by a battery of papparazi and massed ranks of TV news cameras. Facing a bank of microphones and looking somewhat bewildered, Fillery Bumstead was lost for words as he blinked into the lights like a...
Read full storyEducation 'chip' to be implanted into newborns
A teacher has at last spoken out against a faceless body. Tired of parents complaining of the language used in their children's report cards, this teacher has had enough. Apparently, like everything else, language used in writing report cards is '...
Read full storyGender Bender Jammed Genitalia In Blender
Neighbours of notorious gender bender Alex Quim today gathered in the street in small groups, murmering, muttering and gesticulating like Italians after Alex Quim was rushed to hospital in the early hours of this morning. With his genitals jammed...
Read full storyRooney Wonder Goal Hits Blind Boy Who Sees Again
Wayne Rooney's stunning 30-yard stunner in the tenth minute of time added-on sealed Manchester United's triumphal victory over a team in a football match at the weekend. But it was more than just an ordinary net-ripper for the greatest living sco...
Read full storyJihad Jane claims "I Didn't Do it"
Jihad Jane the alleged female terrorist has appeared in court in Philadelphia charged with a terrorist plot. Jihad Jane however when asked how do you plead said "I Didn't Do It". The Blonde with a face like a half chewed caramel has put in as spe...
Read full storyPrice Pfister Kelloggs Announces Cure for Empty Headedness
Just months after Wall Street declared that the merger of plumbing fixtures manufacturer and breakfast cereal maker was not synergistic, the joint companies introduce a new disease-busting-revenue-generating drug. Nothereify, the brand name for lotta...
Read full storySwindon Mum Calls for Sudoku Ban After Teen Tragedy
A Swindon mum has called for a worldwide ban on the popular, and legal!, Sudoku puzzle after her teenage son and all his friends died following an afternoon of LOGIC PUZZLES!, COUNTDOWN!, and Friday's 'hard' GUARDIAN Sudoku, nicknamed HARD! "Why t...
Read full storyObama Says He Won't Rule out Reconciliation in Order to Join EU in Place of Greece!
Flush from his impending victory on Obamacare where Lieutenants Pelosi & Reid subverted the US Constitution, the President now says joining the EU will enable him to accomplish the rest of his shocking goals for the country he detests. In a fa...
Read full storyColonel calls for Nigeria to split on religious grounds
Colonel Gaddafi has caused a major row with Nigeria by calling for Nigeria to split into two different countries one Christian the other Muslim. This follows reports that there is never ending gang wars between Christians And Muslims which has led to...
Read full storyMorse Killed - Killer Goes Free
Consternation reigned at TheSpoof.com as the news came in that Morse had been killed. Satirists the world over slumped into chairs in stunned disbelief that a much loved and highly respected fellow satirist should have met such an untimely demise.
Read full storyNorth Korea advises Britain & the US to follow their Policy regarding failed Politicians
North Korea today advised Britain and America, to follow their policy of dealing with failed politicians. This follows the execution by firing squad of Pak Nam Ki, a North Korean politian who has been judged responsible for the financial collapse in...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson Attends Launch Of New National Daily Newspaper
Twilight star Robert Pattinson this morning attended the launch of the UK's first new national daily newspaper since The Independent as Guest of Honour. Taking time out from his busy schedule, the world's hottest movie star appeared relaxed and conte...
Read full storyPaxman to join Williams in the buff on TV
BBC Newsnight anchor Jeremy Paxman has said today that he will join newsreader Sian Williams in stripping off on air to uphold his principles. Ms Williams, a comely 43 year-old who shares the BBC Breakfast News sofa with the lumbering Bill Turnbul...
Read full storyGail McIntyre Remanded In Custody - For Murder
There were audible gasps of shock, horror, and awe yesterday as Gail McIntyre of Coronation Street, Weatherfield, was remanded in custody by Weatherfield magistrates accused of murdering her husband Joe. As Gail was taken down, she gazed tearfully...
Read full storySusan Boyle Turns Down Pussycat Dolls
It's just been announced that Susan Boyle will definitely not be joining the Pussycat Dolls, and will continue her pursuit of a solo career as intended. The Pussycat Dolls have been gradually falling apart at the seams for months but have been kep...
Read full storyHave A Break - Kill Some Orangutans
Shocking news just in from the musical environmental protection group Greensleeves suggests that tucking into your favourite chocolate covered wafer bar could be damaging the Indonesian rain forests, and in effect, killing orangutans. Orangutans,...
Read full storyPeter Andre: It's Time I Got Tattoo Removed
Aussie heart-throb, all round good guy and virtual saint, Peter Andre, has today announced he is to have a tattoo removed. Speaking from a London clinic prior to the procedure Andre said, "I watched my ex-wife on TV recently when she said my name...
Read full storyMyths from the Bible: Part 4
OK CHRISTIANS - NO APOLOGY FROM ME. YOU WERE WARNED IN THE FIRST 3 ARTICLES. OK. So I find myself today speaking about the story of the poor fella Lazarus. I do believe it was said in the famous 'Bible' that Lazarus was raised from the dead by Jesus himself. Well, let me tell you about Lazarus. He was the 'town drunk' and was forever passing out on the street. Parents tried to keep t...
Read full storyChocolate-Smeared Hugh Grant Is Demanding Chocolate Cake At 50 Paces
LONDON - Public Relations Guru Matthew Freud, no relation to the Lloyd Freud family of West Wickham, took the old Ukrainian phrase 'Let them eat chocolate cake' quite literally. The two British chaps were at London's Annabel's Nightclub celebratin...
Read full storyDavy Crocket is dead
People all over the world are tonight mourning the death of Octogenarian actor 'what's-his-name' who played the popular Davy Crocket for many years. He was recognized by his trademark, coon-skin hat. A dead racoon whose tail had been chopped off...
Read full storyThe Monkees Agree to Final Reunion Show
Orlando, FL - Monkees fans everywhere can finally rejoice, the pre-fab four have finally agreed to meet for a one-off concert event at Epcott Center in Disney World. The concert is scheduled for next fall on the exact same night at the Rock and R...
Read full storyMyths from the Bible: Part 3
CHRISTIAN READERS, WELL FOR ONE THING, YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE READING THE SPOOF. BUT...IF YOU ARE....ANOTHER WARNING THAT THE FOLLOWING WILL EITHER BE 'OFFENSIVE TO YOU' OR 'AN EDUCATION'. YOUR DECISION. OK. THE SO CALLED MIRACLE OF THE LOAVES AND THE FISHES The Bible (I HAVE to type it with a capital 'B' otherwise the Christians will begin to hate me). The Bible tells a story about...
Read full storySandra Bullock's Husband's "Tattoo Tart" Is Actually Amish
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Sandra Bullock's personal hairdresser, Mr. Tabby of Topanga Canyon has reported that the Academy Award winning actress is quite upset over the revelations that her husband, Jesse James, allegedly had an intimate relationship with a...
Read full storyRhode Island Announces Plans to Secede from United States, Align itself with Zanzibar
Finally fed up with being classified as the America's smallest state and with the perceived lack of respect accompanying that classification, teeny, weeny Rhode Island announced plans today to sever ties with the other 49 states. With size in mi...
Read full storyKe$ha Performs On American Idol And Leaves Glitter All Over The Damn Stage
HOLLYWOOD - Ke$ha Rose Petal Sebert, better known as the glitterized singer with the first name comprised of four letters and a dollar sign, performed on The American Idol stage. The white singer from Tennessee with the sing-song, rappin' style sa...
Read full storyMyths from the Bible: Part 2
AGAIN - IF YOU ARE CHRISTIAN DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER. YOU ARE BOUND TO BE EITHER ANGRY OR 'BETTER EDUCATED' THE CHOICE IS YOURS TO MAKE. OK. Daniel in the lion's den. Daniel was a bit of a wimp and was bullied in school. After a few weeks into the new 'term' he told a story about being in a lion's den, to impress his classmates. There were no witnesses and so Daniel was asked to 'prove'...
Read full storyPope To Appear On Saturday Night Live
Having sneaked into the country overnight, Pope Benedict XVI got down to the studio to practice his routines, beginning with, "Live From Vatican City Moved To New York, It's Me, The Pope!" "I just found out that the popemobile has a Toyota motor.
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Chooses College Over Hollywood!
Guess we may not see as much of Miley Cyrus in the near future because she has apparently chosen an Ivy League University over a Hollywood career at the present time. Miley has been trying to make that decision for over a year and now that the las...
Read full storyFat Linda Ronstadt Ruins Mel Gibson's Fantasies
Instead of being in trouble again for getting smashed and shooting his mouth off about somebody or other, a very sad-looking Mel Gibson told a reporter from UP2 Saturday night that he had just seen a fat Linda Ronstadt and that was why he was drinkin...
Read full storyMyths from the Bible: Part 1
WARNING! PLEASE DON'T READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ARE A CHRISTIAN AS THIS MAY OFFEND YOU: YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! The first thing I challenge is The Virgin Birth. Give me a break. Mary and Joseph had been 'getting it on' and she became pregnant. Panic-stricken, she made up a story and people were SO desperate to believe in 'something' as they were all afraid of dying, they believed her story.
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