Anne Rice goes from vampires to Jesus

Funny story: Anne Rice goes from vampires to Jesus

Metro Transylvania - Authoress of phenomenally successful money-maker "Interview with a Vampire", the queen of hard-bitten fiction took all her enormous wealth from the vampire series and bought her soul back from Satan. Next, in the most strategi...

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Jonathan Ross recruited to McCain Presidential Campaign

Funny story: Jonathan Ross recruited to McCain Presidential Campaign

Washington DC, USA - It has been revealed that the controversial British TV presenter Jonathan Ross has been recruited by the Republican Party in an attempt to boost the flailing presidential campaign of US Senator John McCain. "My agent called m...

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Osama bin Laden claims victory - says Talibanisation of America has begun.

Funny story: Osama bin Laden claims victory - says Talibanisation of America has begun.

AFGHANISTAN: Applauding Elizabeth Dole's "Godless Americans" remark, Osama bin Laden told reporters that the Talibanisation of America has begun. The renegade Al-Qaeda leader said he and his followers had won the jihad in Afghanistan in 1989 when...

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Sponsorship from hell: Osama endorses Obama

It has only been twelve hours since the bombshell audio tape was handed to Aljazeera TV's office in Peshawar, Pakistan, but the tremors generated by the recording are being felt across the length and breadth of the American political landscape, if no...

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Miley Cyrus is Sarah Palin's secret love child

Funny story: Miley Cyrus is Sarah Palin's secret love child

Teen sensation Miley Cyrus is related by blood to Vice Presidential hopeful Sarah Palin - so claims an expert in DNA. Doctor Noah Awle from Columbia University secretly took DNA samples from the toilet stools of both women and compared them in...

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Down The Plughole - Economic Boom for Sewer People

Funny story: Down The Plughole - Economic Boom for Sewer People

It's crunch time on the surface, but for those who live underground it's a different story. Dick Turpin (no relation) has been living in his local sewer for six years. He moved in there one cold winter's evening after his bench was set alight by s...

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Police seek thousands of bogus callers

Funny story: Police seek thousands of bogus callers

There were many reports this evening of children as young as 5 demanding money with menaces at locations across the UK. Police Officer Hal O'Ween said "I think these reports are very unlikely. There are very strict laws in this country about minor...

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Baker in Bother over Air Biscuits

Funny story: Baker in Bother over Air Biscuits

A Baker from Stoke-on-Trent is in hot water this week after giving younger customers his 'tasty air biscuits'. Barry Baker, perhaps destined to work in the trade given his moniker, has been baking treats and delights for his local community for th...

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Todd Palin on Charlie Gibson

Funny story: Todd Palin on Charlie Gibson

WASILLA, Alaska - A visibly upset Todd Palin told a reporter for The Juneau Morning Snowfall Dispatch, Edna de Colorado, that he did not appreciate the way his wife was treated in her interview with ABC's Charlie Gibson. Palin, Alaska's 'First Dude' stated, "Sarah and I invited the man into our home, Sarah prepared him a delicious salmon salad with polar bear tonsil-flavored croutons topped of...

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Big Phil Scolari Gets Weetabix Stuck In His Moustache

Funny story: Big Phil Scolari Gets Weetabix Stuck In His Moustache

Chelsea manager Luis Felipe Scolari has a crisis on his hands ahead of Saturday's game with Sunderland at Stamford Bridge, after a breakfast-time incident in which a mouthful of Weetabix became stuck in his moustache. Scolari, 59, regularly eats C...

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Couple Fed Winehouse Crack

Funny story: Couple Fed Winehouse Crack

A sexually curious middle aged couple have admitted supplying drugs to the singer Amy Winehouse. The Drugs in question, called 'loopy juice', are a silly combination of crack cocaine, ecstacy and Um Bongo fruit based beverages. The couple, who...

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Robotripping On CCC

Funny story: Robotripping On CCC

The kid with the gayest haircut in the world was playing......well.....doing something to the guitar. The noise cut through the my brain. The pain growing with each pass of the plectrum across the strings, the amplifier set to warp-buzzy-fuzz 9, the sound of the entrance bell snapping the salesman back to reality. "Dude." said the Kid. "Dude." said Malachi (looks exactly like Malachi from "C...

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"Undecided" Voters Ask to Postpone US Election

Funny story: "Undecided" Voters Ask to Postpone US Election

A group representing "Undecided" voters has petitioned the Federal Election Commission to postpone the US election for a month, in order to give them more time to make up their minds. Ann B. Valent, spokesperson for the group said "Although this...

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'Palin to get her tits out.'

In a last ditch attempt to rescue the Presidential election the Republicans plan to show the Electorate Sarah Palin's tits. Plans to have 8 ft square billboards depicting her tits outside all polling stations and a large pair of latex breasts besi...

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Fed Spends $100,000 To Bailout Two Arkansas Garbage Men

Funny story: Fed Spends $100,000 To Bailout Two Arkansas Garbage Men

Bunton, Arkansas-In a move that was hailed by environmentalists as its first act of responsibility toward John and Neapolitan Feebleblister, two Bunton garbage men, announced that it has sent $100,000 toward buying them some new clothes and shoes and...

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Birmingham Man Chased By Pack Of Hyenas In Digbeth

Funny story: Birmingham Man Chased By Pack Of Hyenas In Digbeth

Birmingham man, Mr Jimsong Yoyo was recovering at home after being chased by a pack of hyenas. A visibly shaken Mr Yoyo recounted how he had been forced to flee from the wild African predators following a night out in the city centre. 'I'd been...

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Scientists Rediscover the Joys of Methanol

Funny story: Scientists Rediscover the Joys of Methanol

LITTLE ROCKS, AK - Scientists in this town have discovered a "new" way to get high with everyday household items. I had to sign a non-disclosure agreement to get this story, but being basically a crook, I gleefully reveal the details herein. No, this is no candy and soda mixture that you make gushers of foaming mess up your nose with. I'm talking about heavily altered states of reality here.

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A Good, Clean Fight

Funny story: A Good, Clean Fight

The main lights blazed on, making the wrestling ring the focus of everyones attention. The announcer strides purposefully to the middle of it. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the mixed weight division fight for the championship of the Presidency!" barked the announcer to the rabid crowd in the arena. "On our right," he gestures towards toward a corner, "we have Barack Obama and his sidekick J...

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I Shagged Jonathan Ross's Grandma Says Manuel

Funny story: I Shagged Jonathan Ross's Grandma Says Manuel

Manuel the Spanish waiter from Barcelona today announced, in what many observers see as a retaliatory backlash that he had not only shagged Jonathan Ross's Grandma, but that he had also shagged Russell Brand's Grandma. Manuel said: 'It all started...

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David Tennant to be new Cillit Bang guy

Funny story: David Tennant to be new Cillit Bang guy

David Tennant has revealed the real reason he has quit as Dr Who - he has been offered £2 million to be the new face of Cillit Bang. "Hi, I'm Barry the Scot," David will be heard shouting at the camera at the top of his voice as he shows us how th...

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Dad's Army Declare War On Ross/Brand - Allegedly

Funny story: Dad's Army Declare War On Ross/Brand - Allegedly

Following hot on the heels of the by now totally exhausted Jonathon Ross/Russell Brand attack on much loved Spanish waiter Manuel, the cast of Dad's Army added their accumulated weight to the debate. 'We're all doomed,' Private Frazer announced. '...

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Source of Unexpected Economic Growth Is Unexpected

Funny story: Source of Unexpected Economic Growth Is Unexpected

Shares in UK companies have increased by an average of 7% over the past 5 days, and show no sign of slowing down over the coming weeks. News of this economic turnaround comes as a relief to the UK public, who have suffered over recent months thank...

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Awesome November astrology could throw US presidential election into chaos

Funny story: Awesome November astrology could throw US presidential election into chaos

London - (Cosmic Mess): As the moon conjoins the planet Pluto in its Sagittarius/Capricorn crossing this weekend ahead of an awesome Saturn/Uranus opposition in Virgo/Pisces this Tuesday fears are growing that the ensuing chaos could well throw the e...

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It's a Premier League Sheik Up!

Funny story: It's a Premier League Sheik Up!

The billionaire owners of Man City have decided to augment their investment by also buying Barclays the sponsors of the Premier League. Sheikh ManYou Watchout said the multi-billion buyout of City and Barclays would greatly enhance their portfolio...

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Bring It On - Burnley Man Lays Down Gauntlet

Funny story: Bring It On - Burnley Man Lays Down Gauntlet

Following an internet threat of a violent invasion by Emperor penguins a Burnley man, Mr Jimmy Bacon, of Stoops Estate warned that the penguins had better be up for it. Speaking from the lounge bar of the White Horse pub in neighbouring Padiham, B...

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Halloween poltergeist plays havoc with Queen's pacemaker

Funny story: Halloween poltergeist plays havoc with Queen's pacemaker

Windsor - (Spooky Mess): Halloween poltergeist activity in Windsor Castle has been blamed for bizarre electronic force fields that are interfering with the Queen's cardiac pacemaker. Royal flunkeys found a vibrator under the matress of a four post...

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Queen in shock resignation

Funny story: Queen in shock resignation

The Queen has handed in her resignation as the fall-out from the Ross-Brand affair continues to escalate. In a statement Her Majesty said 'One has not been amused by the recent broadcasting of the BBC. As I am the one who is responsible for formi...

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How to clean your mouse German Instructions

Funny story: How to clean your mouse German Instructions

ACHTUNG - ALLES LOOKENPEEPERS Das Machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren musten keepen das cotten-pickenen hands in das pockets - relaxen und watchen das blinkenlights. The above was apparently based on the following, orig...

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Alien sabotage suspected as NASA's Ares moon rocket starts weird 'cosmic dildo' vibration

Funny story: Alien sabotage suspected as NASA's Ares moon rocket starts weird 'cosmic dildo' vibration

Marshall Space Flight Centre, Alabama - (X-Files Mess): Alien sabotage may be behind suspected tampering of NASA's Ares moon rocket which has begun humming and vibrating weirdly 'like a gigantic cosmic dildo' according to reports. Prof Jeff Finck...

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Republican Sources: A Palin-Plumber Ticket In 2012

Funny story: Republican Sources: A Palin-Plumber Ticket In 2012

(Bowling Green-OH) It was after Samuel "Joe the Plumber" Wurzelbacher was brought out as a surprise guest by Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin at a rally in the battleground state of Ohio that high ranking Republican party officials...

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Halloween - Michael Myers Breaks Silence At Last

Funny story: Halloween - Michael Myers Breaks Silence At Last

Today, notorious Halloween serial killer and subject of a host of Hollywood slashfest movies, Michael Myers made his first ever public announcement. Incarcerated for the most part in the Illinois Department Of Corrections Special Unit For Psychopath...

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Lego Giant On Beach Says Nothing

Funny story: Lego Giant On Beach Says Nothing

Mystery surrounds a giant lego man found washed up on Brighton beach who has been undergoing psychiatric testing in order to find out where he came from. It appears that this case is remarkably similar to that of a man found wandering in Kent in...

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Tall Guy has "Something Wrong With Him"

Funny story: Tall Guy has "Something Wrong With Him"

The new maintenance guy at the Sharron Corporation in Buffalo, NY has "something wrong with him" according to several of the people in the word processing unit. Tammi Bricke, a long time employee, said that the guy "keeps talking about Tori S...

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Zombies - Nothing To Be Scared Of Says Drunken Scientist

Funny story: Zombies - Nothing To Be Scared Of Says Drunken Scientist

Haddonfield, Illinois, USA, Halloween night. - Following an upsurge in panic about the undead rising up in order to eat the living Professor Arnold Stovepipe of the Harvard Institute for Paranormal Research announced that there really wasn't anything...

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Cricketer faces $20m lawsuit

Funny story: Cricketer faces $20m lawsuit

England cricketer Butt Erfingers is facing a loss of earnings lawsuit from his team mates after he spilled a catch which cost the team 20 million dollars in earnings. The last ball of the match dollied up to him from the Unaffordable Allstars XI No...

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Scolari Right: Frank Lampard Goal Was The Third Best Goal Involving Hull City This Season

Funny story: Scolari Right: Frank Lampard Goal Was The Third Best Goal Involving Hull City This Season

Chelsea manager Luis Felipe Scolari was right about Frank Lampard's goal in the 3-0 win against Hull City at the KC Stadium on Wednesday, say Tigers fans, with many admitting that only the strikes from Geovanni against Arsenal at the Emirates, and hi...

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Obama May Allow Premature Withdrawals

Barack Obama, the acting President, told reporters Friday before Tuesday's election, that he is considering allowing middle-aged people to withdraw their IRA's before age 59 1/2 without any penalty. "This will allow more people spending money up...

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Traffic Heavier Than Usual & Congestion Charge

Funny story: Traffic Heavier Than Usual & Congestion Charge

"Traffic Heavier Than Usual" may lead people to think that there will be more congestion on the roads but the truth is that traffic is heavier is what it means - not because of more traffic but because drivers fill their tanks up to the top, carry mo...

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Paris Hilton Designs New Cell Phone and Dangles a Participle

Funny story: Paris Hilton Designs New Cell Phone and Dangles a Participle

Hot off her recent Halloween bar tour, media princess and marketing expert Paris Hilton announced her plans for a new line of crush proof cell phones. Fueled by the damage imposed from a passing truck on her accidentally dropped cell phone and s...

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Heavy Breather Calls Clinic

After a local health clinic in Hartford, Connecticut, received six telephone calls in a row from some heavy breathing pervert, they decided to call the police. Police then traced the seventh call to an apartment on Bigelow Street and called in for a...

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Georgina 'Satanic Sluts' Baillie To Take Over Russell Brand Radio 2 Show

Funny story: Georgina 'Satanic Sluts' Baillie To Take Over Russell Brand Radio 2 Show

Georgina Baillie, the 23-year-old granddaughter of Andrew Sachs, at the centre of the BBC prank calls row, has said she was "horrified and disgusted" by Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand's behaviour, just before it was announced by BBC bosses that she...

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Evidence of pre-historic credit crunch uncovered

Funny story: Evidence of pre-historic credit crunch uncovered

A important discovery was made today in an ancient cave relating to a financial meltdown in pre-historic times. From pre-historic drawings of carvings on the cave wall experts have deciphered evidence of the financial markets in turmoil even in th...

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NASA Announces Outer Space Filled With Screaming

Funny story: NASA Announces Outer Space Filled With Screaming

Houston TX-- NASA spokesman Dr. Karl Saygun announced at a joint news conference that Outer Space is filled with the sounds of human screaming. The news came a few weeks after NASA said space "smelled like burning steak." Dr. Saygun was grim fac...

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Sharon Stone Proved Right

Funny story: Sharon Stone Proved Right

As Icelandic banks crashed, throwing world stock markets into disarray, Hollywood actress Sharon Stone claimed she had been right all along. 'Told ya, didn't I?', she said, 'if ya go around stealing money from savers and fiddlin' the books, bad k...

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Obama Appoints Russell Brand as White House Press Secretary

Funny story: Obama Appoints Russell Brand as White House Press Secretary

Madcap, PA - Presumptive President-elect Barack Obama has announced the appointment of disgraced BBC bad boy Russell Brand as his White House Press Secretary. Brand, along with fellow prankster Jonathan Ross, fell from grace and was effectively sacke...

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All that Glitters isnt Gold

In a spectacular twist, Jonathan Ross today was rumoured to have had high level crisis talks with Gary Glitter about how to deal with the current scandal. Glitter resisted temptations to comment for fear of reprisals at being seen with the disgraced...

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Eastwood Straps on Leather for New Western

Funny story: Eastwood Straps on Leather for New Western

Set in modern day Los Angeles, the story centers around a retired cow puncher and open range cowboy who struggles with Alzheimer's disease. Living in a retirement community near the gangland areas of East L.A., the lead character, Elmer 'Bucky' Chap...

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Democrats Find Key To Winning Christian Vote

Funny story: Democrats Find Key To Winning Christian Vote

After years of struggling to get the evangelical vote, the Democratic party have finally worked out a way to reach out to those crazy Christian voters. Their election strategy is to subtly use the idea of the "rapture" and the second coming of Jesus...

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NASA Coverup Story - Conspiracy Uncovered

Funny story: NASA Coverup Story - Conspiracy Uncovered

Nasa's latest news release "NASA probe impeded as giant UFO mothership guards access to Mars opals cave" has been uncovered to be yet another conspiracy coverup of what is really happening in Milky Way galatic-space. According to my own anonamous...

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Jonathan Ross Show To Be Replaced By Roy 'Chubby' Brown Show

Funny story: Jonathan Ross Show To Be Replaced By Roy 'Chubby' Brown Show

The BBC's flagship Friday evening Jonathan Ross show, Friday Night with Jonathan Ross has been cancelled due to the star's three-month suspension without pay, and has now been replaced with the new Friday Night With Roy 'Chubby' Brown. Ross was in...

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"Joe the Plumber" eliminated on reality TV show

Funny story: "Joe the Plumber" eliminated on reality TV show

New Holland, OH--Joe the Plumber, real name Samuel J. Wurzelbacher, of Holland, Ohio, competed against 18 contestants for a chance to become John McCain's new best talking point on the FOX Network's reality show "John McCain's My New BTP." Joe wa...

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An Obamable McPalin Did You Say?

Funny story: An Obamable McPalin Did You Say?

Many question the monstrous amounts of money both Presidential candidates have been putting out for their campaigns when everyone is already familiar with them. Both McCain and Obama have spent millions promoting themselves, yet their words and i...

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US Finds Solution to Illegal Immigration

Funny story: US Finds Solution to Illegal Immigration

US immigration authorities are reporting a dramatic drop in the numbers of undocumented aliens crossing the southern border. La Migra wants to attribute the reduction to their security tactics. Border wall advocates say its the barrier or rumors...

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Hoodoo Dat Voodoo? Palin Takes On Tina Fey

Funny story: Hoodoo Dat Voodoo? Palin Takes On Tina Fey

While campaigning in New Orleans, Sarah Palin slipped away form her entourage and secretly visited a voodoo shop in the French Quarter. The owner already had the Tina Fey voodoo Doll ready for her. The VP candidate wasted no time and immediately...

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McCain Appeals to Willie Loman the Salesman!

Funny story: McCain Appeals to Willie Loman the Salesman!

Maybe it's the fake frozen smile or the road weary walk. Some suggest it's the stiff, arthritic gestures while others find his history of infidelity the reminiscent trait. The one thing all agree upon is that John McCain and the American tragic...

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CTS: The new Sars or Y2K?

Funny story: CTS: The new Sars or Y2K?

CTS. The Silent Killer! - Unspoken of for too long, an insidious killer lurks in our midst. A silent affliction, mainly affecting older men, it gradually overwhelms, so slowly yet so comfortably that the victim is blissfully unaware of his own impend...

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Even Joe the Plumber Abandons McCain-Palin!

John McCain, looking gimpy-er than ever, with his second wife Cindy looking more and more granddaughtery gave a shout out to Joe the Plumber at one of his sparsely populated pre mortems. there were so few in attendance that had McCain not been so sla...

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Kwame & Ted: Two Commiserating Cons

Funny story: Kwame & Ted: Two Commiserating Cons

Now that Kwame, the former Mayor of Detroit is in jail and Senator Ted Stevens may soon be joining him, it's not surprising that they'll try to reach out to each other for sustenance and support. Here is a snippet of a conversation accidentally intercepted by Barney Frank's protege' while undercover in a men's room in Butte, Montana: Kwame: "Hello...hello. Is this Sen. Ted Stevens?" Ted:...

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The Rise and Rise of Georgina Bailey

Funny story: The Rise and Rise of Georgina Bailey

Georgina Bailey is a top ten hit by the 70s group Focks. The song is about a slightly overweight, young-ish woman who f***s her way to stardom, fame and fortune. The song states that she dances in a proto-nazi group cheekily named The SS, that sh...

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McCain left unattended, wanders onto stage asking for Joe the Plumber

Funny story: McCain left unattended, wanders onto stage asking for Joe the Plumber

Defiance, Ohio - Left unattended by his campaign aides, John McCain wandered onto the stage of his political fund raising rally today and started asking the audience if they had seen Joe the Plumber. "It was a toss up as to who looked more stun and c...

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Sir Trevor McDonald - Just Not Funny - Claims Liverpool Man

Funny story: Sir Trevor McDonald - Just Not Funny - Claims Liverpool Man

In an astonishing outburst this evening on the approach ramp to Liverpool Lime Street Station, homeless alcoholic Terry O'Hara launched a scathing attack on the nation's favourite newsreader. 'Yer wharr, arrgh ey lad,' O'Hara mumbled. 'Yer see dat...

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I feel like a man. I voted.

"I feel like a man," said my 19 year old nephew after casting his ballot the other day. He'd waited on line three times to vote, each time having to leave for class or some other obligation. Finally he waited an hour and a half and did it. He voted on each initiative, and chose among 13 presidential candidates, then spoke to me cogently about his choices. That little boy is now a man...

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Jimmy Carr Rapidly Morphing Into Alan Hansen - Friends Concerned

Funny story: Jimmy Carr Rapidly Morphing Into Alan Hansen - Friends Concerned

Friends of top telly comedian Jimmy Carr this evening voiced concerns regarding the billionaire comic's physical appearance, claiming that the comic was rapidly morphing into a double of TV soccer pundit and ex-Liverpool massively overrated defender...

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Blunkett the Tartan Spartan!

Funny story: Blunkett the Tartan Spartan!

A politician who paired the wrong teams in last season's CIS Cup semi-final draw will be given a second chance on 12 November. The British Labour Party Politician and his dog 'Ruby' will team up again to make this season's draw. Blunkett announ...

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Zimbabwean Big Game Hunter In Sausage Supply Scandal

Funny story: Zimbabwean Big Game Hunter In Sausage Supply Scandal

Zimbabwean big game hunter and store proprietor Clayton Le Moors today came under fire from hordes of frustrated potential customers after promising to supply sausages with outstandingly high fresh meat content as served in the south of Africa to Eur...

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