Marshall Space Flight Centre, Alabama - (X-Files Mess): Alien sabotage may be behind suspected tampering of NASA's Ares moon rocket which has begun humming and vibrating weirdly 'like a gigantic cosmic dildo' according to reports.
Prof Jeff Finckenor, structural design engineer at the Jet Convulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, has spoken about his fears that Ares 'could now blast off into its own launch tower' after technicians failed to switch off the persistent buzzing.
Last week an unidentified force field was caught on NASA's security video cameras bathing the rocket in a mysterious pink light.
Engineers later found Ares smothered in what some have described as cosmic ectoplasm 'or industrial strength KY jelly'.
"Perhaps an alien mothership is grooming Ares for some intergalactic shenanigans ahead of its maiden voyage next month?" fabled Ufologist and alien hunter Derrel Sims said today.
Buzz Aldrin is 102.
