Source of Unexpected Economic Growth Is Unexpected

Written by Daniel Tate

Friday, 31 October 2008

image for Source of Unexpected Economic Growth Is Unexpected
Sam's looking forward to a quiet weekend with his money.

Shares in UK companies have increased by an average of 7% over the past 5 days, and show no sign of slowing down over the coming weeks.

News of this economic turnaround comes as a relief to the UK public, who have suffered over recent months thanks to global financial turmoil.

Samuel Denby, world renowned financier, has been analysing the events leading up to industry and banking's new found confidence in the markets, and believes he has found the explanation.

"We can all thank Brand and Ross, it's as simple as that", said Denby. "The public and the BBC owe them a very big apology."

Denby claims that Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross, who recently fell foul to a prank phone call they made on Brand's BBC2 radio show, are the reason the economy looks to be improving at such an increased rate.

"I started by analysing which of the large UK employers was bucking the trend by actively recruiting staff in such a difficult economic climate", explained Denby. "I found that the BBC was increasing its staff at an alarming rate, particularly around the area of handling viewers' complaints."

Denby believes the overwhelming number of complaints the BBC is receiving over the Brand-Ross debacle was the catalyst that kick-started consumer confidence in the stock markets.

"Two people complained on the first day and only a few days later the complaints had reached over 18,000. Already that figure has risen to 30,00.

"All we need is for the remaining 60,913,912 people living in the UK to complain too. Once that happens, I believe the UK will become the world's leading financial powerhouse".

When asked whether Denby believed the BBC had purposefully aired the pre-recorded interview to encourage viewer complaints, he replied, "To be honest I haven't thought of it like that before. It's far more sensationalist, so I guess it's probably true."

When asked if they were trawling through their archives, looking for materials previously deemed too offensive for broadcast, the BBC refused to comment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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