Written by Skoob1999

Friday, 31 October 2008

image for Zimbabwean Big Game Hunter In Sausage Supply Scandal
Clayton LeMoors Pissing About While His Customers Expire From Sausage Starvation

Zimbabwean big game hunter and store proprietor Clayton Le Moors today came under fire from hordes of frustrated potential customers after promising to supply sausages with outstandingly high fresh meat content as served in the south of Africa to European consumers.

Frustrated customers allege that Le Moors has consistently failed to deliver the goods on orders placed from as long as three weeks ago.

One particularly vexed potential customer, Mr R McFarlane issued the following statement:
'I quite liked Clayton when he first came to my attention, but he's gone right down in my estimation since. I put in an order for a spicy sausage but I've been waiting three weeks for it now, and still no sign of delivery.

'Fair play to the bloke, he never accepted payment, but here's me and the wife looking forward to a nice sausage supper with some mashed potatoes and baked beans, and there's just nothing forthcoming.

'It's terribly frustrating. As far as I'm concerned I may as well forget all about a nice sausage and mash dinner and have some tinned spaghetti hoops instead. I'm just...'

At this point Mr McFarlane became emotionally distraught and had to be led away by a uniformed Traffic Warden.

Clayton Le Moors, contacted in his multi-million pound Southampton waterfront penthouse said:
'Let's get this straight. I couldn't supply the sausages because I fell down a hole trying to shoot some rabbits which would have provided the meat filling. It's not my fault I tell you.'

Clayton LeMoors then went on to state that he would honour any outstanding orders for his high meat content sausages.

Mr R McFarlane was too emotionally disturbed and malnourished to add to his previous press release.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Zimbabwe, Sausages




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