Manuel the Spanish waiter from Barcelona today announced, in what many observers see as a retaliatory backlash that he had not only shagged Jonathan Ross's Grandma, but that he had also shagged Russell Brand's Grandma.
Manuel said: 'It all started in Torquay. The woman who I later discovered was Brand's Grandma was spectacularly pissed in the bar, so Basil, the Major and I had to carry her up to her room as she was only what could be described as semi-conscious. However, once we got in sight of her bed, her entire demeanour changed.
'She was gagging for it. Basil, the Major and myself all at once. The sweat was rolling off me. She just couldn't get enough of it. She emptied our nutsacks that night and that's for sure.
'Of course, at the time I never realised that this was Russell Brand's Grandma.
'Ross's Grandma was slightly different. But let me say she was equally enthusiastic and she took it up the tradesman's entrance.
'Tou-fuckin-che you wankers.'