Rumours Abound at Spoof Corporate Headquarters Concerning Wunderkind Mark Lowton
London, England - Shares more than tripled in value for the number one web-based satire company, thespoof.com, on the FTSE today following unconfirmed rumours that TheSpoof.com boy wonder CEO, Mark Lowton is stepping down. Lowton, from Lancaster,...Read full story
Morrissey Arrested In Possession Of A Millwall Brick
There was real controversy after the League One game between Millwall and Leeds United at the New Den this afternoon, when ex-Smiths frontman, Steven Morrissey was arrested by police officers in Los Angeles for carrying a Millwall Brick. Morrissey...Read full story
Jessie Jackson "Lets it all Hang Out"
The National Enquirer, October 2008: The Reverend Jessie Jackson was quoted as saying "JOWS" and "Zionists" were responsible for all the world's problems. Due to Rev. Jackson's funny accent and Ebonics elocution, this paper found it necessary to per...Read full story
Is Music Killing Diabetics?
Sacherine, California - "Sugar, Sugar" the classic 1969 number-one hit single by fictional characters The Archies, has been implicated in the death of 573 diabetics worldwide. The song has been pulled from air play by radio DJs and likewise pulled fr...Read full story
Austrian incest nutter Joseph Fritzl guest of honor at Joerg Haidar funeral
Vienna, Austria - (Fascist Ass Mess): Joseph Fritzl is to be guest of honor at tomorrow's funeral of his gay Nazi bumbandit son Joerg Haidar. Fritzl's day-release pass from Amstetten Jail has been granted on compassionate grounds for the high noon...Read full story
Deposed top bankers face long wait to get back in the bedroom
Canary Wharf, London - (Ass Mess): Unemployed bankers have just 65 days left before the chance of a bit of Yuletide legover as thousands of disgruntled wives and partners freeze out their other halves from the bedroom in the current frigid economic c...Read full story
Tony Blair in line for $10 million banking bonus
Off-the-Wall-St, NYC - (Fatcat Mess): Tony Blair, widely accredited as the secret genius behind the $5 trillion global nationalisation of banks, is in line for a whopping great big fatcat rake off according to reports in BigOilShagger! magazine. B...Read full story
Killer Chef Cooked Dead Boyfriend
A wannabe celebrity chef has been found guilty of porking his male lover to death, in a Viagra-fuelled drunken sex romp, with a twelve inch strap-on salami. He then compounded his crime by slicing off several choice cuts of the victim's flesh and coo...Read full story
Senator Encourages Americans to "Be Much More Delusional" - Vows to renew "blame shifting"
Recently criticized for his mishandling of the financial crisis facing America, Senator Chris Dodd suggested Americans "take themselves back to a simpler time when they bought things they couldn't pay for and blamed George Bush for everything." T...Read full story
90th Anniversary Armistice reunion will be the very last...most probably
It was announced today, with great regret. The 90th Annual WWI Armistice Reunion would have to be shelved indefinitely after this year's event. Main reasons being cited are The Credit Crunch and Global Warming taking its toll. Others have a differing...Read full story
Stayin' Alive can Kill You Softly
Atlanta, GA - The Center for Musical Disease Control in Atlanta has announced that the Bee Gees' hit song "Stayin' Alive" has one of the best beats for performing CPR. The song played during John Travolta's famous dancing scene in Saturday Night...Read full story
Prescott: Work? I Don't Know What That Is.
Following on from his admission that he didn't know what chino's were, former UK Deputy PM John Prescott has confessed today that he had never heard of the word "work" either, had no idea what it meant, and, upon being given a definition, said that h...Read full story
Strictly star Forsite lives at 80
The world of light entertainment was shocked today by the announcement that veteran coffin dodger Brucie Forsite (80) was fit and well this morning and able to patronise amateur golfers at the Royal and Ancient St. Andrews pitch n' putt course for to...Read full story
Grace arrested over Caylee Anthony kidnapping
FBI raided the offices of the Nancy Grace show yesterday and placed Headline News Cable TV's Nancy Grace in handcuffs. Grace was arrested regarding the kidnapping Caylee Anthony. That same evening Nancy Grace's home was also raided and her twins...Read full story
Toxic Securities Futures Rebound
Chicago, IL - UPDATE 1 - High demand for toxic securities and commercial paper are fueling a sharp spike in toxic securities futures. No, we don't mean toxic like aspartame, these are toxic in the financial sense.. bad for your portfoilio, not bad...Read full story
David Blaine to Hang by Testicles
Las Vegas - David Blaine is preparing himself for the greatest stunt of his career. In three days, if all goes well, he plans to hang upside-down by his testicles from the famous Las Vegas landmark the Stratosphere tower. When the stunt was announ...Read full story
Sex Novelty Nabob, Pulls Tremendous Titty Taffy from Shelf!
A high street sex shop has been providing sexsual sweets to adventurous and amorous erotics for decades now. One of their biggest sellers has been the "Tremendous Titty Taffy". That is until the Chinese melamine scare. They've now had to pull their t...Read full story
Cuban Oil Gusher Brings Bush - Cheney - McCain - Palin to Havana!
Cuba has oil and suddenly Bush has developed a taste for all things Cubano! Four headed monster Bush-Cheney-McCain -Palin have mounted their brooms and flown to Havana for unprecedented and unqualified talks. Bush brought Osacar winning fi...Read full story
British Corporal Wright Suffers Wrongful Death in Afghan Minefield!
UK coroners have denounced the wrongful death of Corporal Wright in an Afghani minefield. Coroners claim that the wrong helicopter was sent to the rescue scene. To extract a wounded soldier from a minefield , experts say that you need a copter wi...Read full story
Rugby, The Sport for the Suicidal, Condemns Assisted Suicide as a Cop-out!
Rugby is the sport for dudes with a serious death wish. The rugby community, which is really more of an anarchy, is expressing outrage this week as a member of its self-slaughtercelebration copped-out and went to Switzerland to get help offing himsel...Read full story
High Hedge Fund Millionaire Tells World: "Dude, I Made Millions and Then I got High!"
Andrew Lahdie took the $$$ and ran to the pot store this week. Lahdie , Hedge Fund Boss and multimillionaire bet on the collapse of the subprime mortgage and raked in enough dough to eat nothing but pot brownies for the rest of his life! The 37...Read full story
Mars Rover "Spirit" suffering from depression
In 2003 Spirit, along with its sibling Opportunity, landed on Mars. The two Rovers became instant media celebrities, gracing magazine covers and dominating water cooler conversation around the world. A Nasa artist's rendition of the brave robotic fi...Read full story
General Powell Reveals: "Barack Obama, I Am Your Papa"
Once a SoBro Brutha in the Melrose Projects, Colin Powell rose through the ranks to work for the white man's war machine and almost made it to the White House. Powell went over to the dark side of the armed forces until he was betrayed at the United...Read full story
Smut to Blame for Downfall of Maya Civilization, says Mel Gibson
Yucatan Peninsula, Central America - Smut, considered by some to be a tasty delicacy, was the official cause of the fall of the Maya people states historian, primitive-culture-hobbyist and thespian Mel Gibson. "It got pretty awful toward the end,"...Read full story