Titanic survivor auctions herself off

Funny story: Titanic survivor auctions herself off

The only remaining relic of the Titanic surviving, today announced she was to auction herself off. 96 year old Lilly Bean who is bed ridden with a gammy leg said today, 'I'm in desperate need to get my pipes cleaned out, but the state of The NHS,...

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Morgan Appointed Editor of The Spoof

Funny story: Morgan Appointed Editor of The Spoof

Disgraced former Mirror Editor and TV talent show judge Piers Morgan has been appointed as editor for the new daily newspaper, The Spoof. Morgan, 45, was sacked from the mirror over claims pictures published in the paper were fake, and will take...

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Ringo Starr too busy for autographs

Funny story: Ringo Starr too busy for autographs

Former Beatles drummer Ringo Starr today said he was too busy to sign autographs, or to read fanmail sent to him. 'Everyone knows I was the most talented Beatle', he said from one of his houses, 'and that's why I've had to say enough is enough, no...

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Capello Denies Twin

Funny story: Capello Denies Twin

England manager Fabio Capello today denied reports that he has a famous twin brother. The Italian, 55, dismissed a national tabloids claims that himself and Postman Pat were separated at birth as "Ridiculous". And in an exclusive i can reveal t...

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New Austrian Political Party Formed

Funny story: New Austrian Political Party Formed

Following the death of Austria's right-wing Alliance party leader, Jorg Haider, a new party was launched in Vienna today. The We're Not Nazis (Honest) Party will be led by A. Dolf Haitler, and the deputy leader will be Heinrich Horstwesseler. Spea...

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A day in the life of Peaches Geldof - from her biography

Funny story: A day in the life of Peaches Geldof - from her biography

Steddyeddy, who has not approached Peaches Geldof to write her biography, has nevertheless taken time from his slating shedule to bring Spoof Fans an exclusive extract. If you don't want to see the result, turn away NOW! Chapter 5 (as high as the poor girl can count without the aid of a computer). As a 14 year old, when Bob was busy saving the world, Peaches was happy to spend the day with h...

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George W Bush Makes Speech About Iceland

Funny story: George W Bush Makes Speech About Iceland

Today President George W Bush had this to say about the financial crisis caused by Iceland's banking failures: 'My fellow Scandinarians, Iceland's banks will need all our assisters and support, it is our duty to help the globule economicity funct...

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From the Oxymoron Society

Funny story: From the Oxymoron Society

I felt it would be appropriate to share the following oxymorons with you all: OXYMORONS Act naturally Found missing Resident alien Advanced BASIC Genuine imitation Safe sex Airline food Good grief Same difference Almost exactly Government organization Sanitary landfill Alone together Legally drunk Silent scream British fashion Living dead Small crowd Business ethics Soft r...

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Tom Cruise Is Not Dead, Despite Internet Rumors

Funny story: Tom Cruise Is Not Dead, Despite Internet Rumors

Despite internet rumors to the contrary, the agent for Tom Cruise confirmed that the actor is not dead and did not suffer a fatal fall while mountain climbing in New Zealand. He said that Cruise is in New York City right now with his wife and daught...

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John McCain, Botox And Joe The Plumber

Funny story: John McCain, Botox And Joe The Plumber

Did Joe the plumber inject John McCain's eyelids with Botox or did Joe leave a wrench on the Senator's chair before last night's debate? Bouncing about in his seat, McCain's eyes remained fixed, Orphan Annie wide, (mercifully without eyeliner) lookin...

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The New GOP Ticket: McCain & Joe The Plumber

Funny story: The New GOP Ticket: McCain & Joe The Plumber

YUMA, Arizona - In a highly unprecedented and shocking political move, Sen. John McCain has dropped Sarah Palin as his running mate and replaced her with Joe Wurzelbacher (aka Joe The Plumber). This unbelievable turn of events comes just less tha...

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Miley Cyrus reveals she likes to shower naked

Funny story: Miley Cyrus reveals she likes to shower naked

Raunchy 'Hannah Montana' star Miley Cyrus has told an insider that she likes to shower completely naked. The sultry singer/actress has said she likes nothing more than feeling warm water flowing across her body while she stands beneath a hose. Som...

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Professor reveals who really ate all the sausages

Funny story: Professor reveals who really ate all the sausages

Professor Barnaby Grossly of the Institute for Advanced Microbiological Physics, has make a stunning announcement regarding the identity of the bastard who'd being eating all the sausages in the staff canteen. Suspicion had fallen on Glenda, the b...

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"Joe the Plumber", "Joe Six Pack" and "Say it isn't so Joe" caught in compromising position with "Joe Blow"

Funny story: "Joe the Plumber", "Joe Six Pack" and "Say it isn't so Joe" caught in compromising position with "Joe Blow"

Fresno, California - GOP middleclass icons "Joe the Plumber", "Joe Six Pack" and "Say it isn't so Joe" were all arrested at a highway rest stop in Fresno, California for lewd conduct in a public place. Police arrested all three men in a men's bat...

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Arthur Pewty A Grandad

Funny story: Arthur Pewty A Grandad

A childhood friend of Neasden crime kingpin and gangster extraordinaire Arthur Pewty today called a press conference at the White Horse pub in Padiham near Burnley, Lancashire. The tension in the air was palpable as Mr Jimmy Bacon, of Stoops Estat...

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Revolutionary cheap hearing aid scoops British Industry Award

Funny story: Revolutionary cheap hearing aid scoops British Industry Award

At a glittering ceremony in a hall in Telford, the UK's most fascinating town, a company from Grimsby has scooped the British Industrial Award for a hearing aid set to revolutionise the NHS with its cheapness. Acme Medical Products has developed a...

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Arthur Pewty Goes Up The Shops

Funny story: Arthur Pewty Goes Up The Shops

Neasden hard-man, gangster, suspected murderer and organised crime kingpin Arthur Pewty emerged from his flat today looking dishevelled and decidedly unhappy. Pewty ran the media gauntlet based around his flat in Norman Wisdom Tower Village, Neasd...

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Window Tax to make a return

Funny story: Window Tax to make a return

At a meeting of government ministers this morning to suggest some new stealth taxes, a shout of "Eureka" was heard coming from the Chancellor's lips as he not only received an apple to the head thrown by the Prime Minister to wake him up, but re-disc...

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Dubai puts world-wide sex ban on British couples

Funny story: Dubai puts world-wide sex ban on British couples

The Dubai Ministry for Sex and Alcohol shocked British couples when it announced that there was now a total worldwide ban on British couples having sex. This declaration follows the trial of a male and female British couple who got a 3 month pris...

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Arthur Pewty Admits Iceland Involvement

Funny story: Arthur Pewty Admits Iceland Involvement

In a sensational doorstep confession this morning, the alleged notorious Neasden organised crime kingpin Arthur Pewty admitted to having Iceland connections. In the wake of the collapse of the Icelandic banking system, Pewty released the following...

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Madonna's Kabbalistic 'fountain of youth' implants blamed for divorce

Funny story: Madonna's Kabbalistic 'fountain of youth' implants blamed for divorce

London - (Silly Ass Mess): Guy Ritchie has blamed his wife's Kabbalistic 'fountain of youth' implants for the failure of their seven year marriage. The surgical procedure was conducted during the cosmic influence of the Gemini full moon last Decem...

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Prediction markets now betting big on McCain coronary

Funny story: Prediction markets now betting big on McCain coronary

Off-the-Wall St, NYC - (Psychic Mess): Dow Jones-listed internet bookmaker Aintgottaprayer.con has reported a (Wailing) wall of money for GOP presidential wannabe John McCain having a fatal coronary ahead of the 4 November election. The spread-bet...

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IKEA Runs Out of Little Wrenches, Customers Confused

Funny story: IKEA Runs Out of Little Wrenches, Customers Confused

Though showrooms continue to display fully assembled furniture, customers have been at a loss on what to do with the boxes of rectangular simulated wooden pieces once they arrive at home. Due to a shortage in little steel Allen wrenches and screwdri...

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Las Vegas Strippers, Hookers and Mobsters Losing Money in Recession

Funny story: Las Vegas Strippers, Hookers and Mobsters Losing Money in Recession

LAS VEGAS (FMLiveWire) -- Sandy Smegaloff who spends her evenings stripping, lap-dancing and hooking at Frick's Cabaret here says she's making only a fraction of her income of a year ago. ''You don't shop, you don't buy stuff you can't afford now,...

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McCain Dodges Eggs and Watermelons in Letterman's Parking Lot

Funny story: McCain Dodges Eggs and Watermelons in Letterman's Parking Lot

With hat in hand, John McCain returned to "The Late Show" hosted by David Letterman after ditching a scheduled appearance in favor of an interview with Katy Couric. McCain was expected to be apologetic upon his arrival and at the mercy of the host,...

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Michelle Obama Eight-Months Pregnant

Funny story: Michelle Obama Eight-Months Pregnant

Chicago, Illinois-- Michelle Obama revealed she is eight-months pregnant with twin boys. The twins are due Election Day. Michelle confessed she is "carrying low and in the back" and that's why her ass is so big. She spoke exclusively to me in...

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Hugh Grant in Webcam Shocker!

Funny story: Hugh Grant in Webcam Shocker!

Suave British film actor Hugh Grant has stunned fans by revealing his new spare-time activity. The cash-strapped Four Wedding and a Funeral star has been performing steamy webcam stripteases for Hong Kong businessmen. Grant, 48, charges his sleaz...

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Bernake Pledges Aggressive Bubble Attack

Funny story: Bernake Pledges Aggressive Bubble Attack

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben S. Bernanke pledged today - to prevent, and even attack bubbles everywhere. A new small, elite government agency, the Bubble Attack Team (BAT) went into operation this week. Today, Bernanke granted this exclusive inte...

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Celebrity baby name scandal

Funny story: Celebrity baby name scandal

Some think that David and Victoria Beckham started the surreal naming of children craze by naming their first child Brooklyn (after the bridge under which he was conceived), but the fad for bizarre children's names goes much further back, with Frank...

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Arthur Pewty's Views On...

Legendary Neasden hard-nut,gangster and underworld crime kingpin Arthur Pewty granted us an exclusive interview concerning his thoughts on a variety of things. On Gordon Ramsay: Fair enough, he can cook a bit, but if he spoke to me like he speaks to some of them people on Hell's Kitchen I'd knock his sodding block off. On The Leaning Tower Of Pisa: It's not straight is it? It's not! It...

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How I, Arthur Pewty, was conned by my own wife

Funny story: How I, Arthur Pewty, was conned by my own wife

Beryl asked me one day if I fancied watching the Temptations live in concert. Of course I said yes, that would be great, so Beryl said not to worry about the arrangements as she had everything in hand. All I had to do was negotiate some time off work in order to fit everything in. So I approached Wayne, my team leader and requested the second half of Thursday's shift off, and the Friday followi...

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Arthur Pewty Slams Men Who Sit Down To Pee

Funny story: Arthur Pewty Slams Men Who Sit Down To Pee

I've just been reading an article in the paper where it states - and they're not ashamed of it - that forty eight percent of German men sit down to pee. I mean, what's that all about? Apparently the Germans think it's sophisticated to sit down for a piss. Well I'm very sorry Germany, but I think it's all a bit girly. I mean' all well and good if you want to do number twos as well. That's...

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National Review Busheviks Oust Christopher Buckley

Generic National Review Bushevik, "Sorry comrade you're not going with the Poltiburo and the 'people's' candidate this time around. It's off to the gulag and thirty days bread and water for you. We don't care that your father was one our best jackbooted thugs and an all around swell guy (a good drinking buddy too). We have no use for one of the literati like you anyway, we're trying to dumb down t...

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Josephine the Plumber Cries Foul!

Funny story: Josephine the Plumber Cries Foul!

A decade of Bounty paper towel commercials popularized the character of Josephine the plumber. McCain who seemed to get it by choosing Sarah Palin to be VPILF invoked only the quarter of a million dollar plumber, Joe in his final chance, last dit...

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McCain Invokes Joe The Watergate Plumber!

Funny story: McCain Invokes Joe The Watergate Plumber!

Post Nixonian Republicans have run from the Watergate scandal the way moose flee a Palin hunting party. But not John McCain... the desperate soon to be ex-candidate actually enlisted one of the Watergate " plumbers " to illustrate his economic plan.

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McCain Calls Kennedy Assasination: The Intervention in Dallas!

Funny story: McCain Calls Kennedy Assasination: The Intervention in Dallas!

For years, conspiracy theorists have speculated that the Republican party was involved in the Kennedy assassination. Tonight before millions of viewers, John McCain in a senior moment let the murderous cat out of the body bag. He actually called...

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Madonna Dumps Husband for Mini-me!

Funny story: Madonna Dumps Husband for Mini-me!

London - Madonna re-announced her divorce today, citing the lack of publicity from her latest album forcing her to take action. She also announced her immediate engagement to the dwarf actor who played Mini-Me in the Austin Powers movies. "He's so...

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'I am ______ and this message was approved by me.'

Funny story: 'I am ______ and this message was approved by me.'

The Federal Association of Political Advertisements(FAPA) announced today that starting immediately political radio and television ads must reword their candidate approval statements. Currently political ads either open or close with: "I am ______...

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Pope Benedict to Join Mormon Church

Funny story: Pope Benedict to Join Mormon Church

Pope Benedict has revealed that he plans on joining the Mormon Church. The news comes just two weeks after the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints announced plans to build one of their temples in Rome. When asked why he planned to convert...

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Cardinal's Tell All Book Reveals Pope John Paul II Was Stabbed By Priest

Funny story: Cardinal's Tell All Book Reveals Pope John Paul II Was Stabbed By Priest

A tell all book by the Cardinal who was the chief aide to Pope John Paul II has revealed that the Pope was stabbed in 1982, just one year after a shooting almost took his life. The knife wound was not fatal and the Vatican released a report that the...

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DEM Congressman Sets New Benchmark for "Preservation of Family Values": $120,000 To Former Mistress!

Funny story: DEM Congressman Sets New Benchmark for "Preservation of Family Values": $120,000 To Former Mistress!

Palm Beach, FL,/ Palm Beach Post - In an action taken by incumbent Democrat Representative Tim Mahoney, sure to chill the bones of other Democratic "Players", the price for "Sweetheart" payoffs just rose to $120,000, plus additional perks of an assur...

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