Shamima Begum Has Been Fitted For Some Clogs
Shamima Begum, the 19-year-old former ISIS bride who has had her British citizenship rescinded by the UK government, is to go and live in Holland, and has been fitted for some clogs. She is a whopping size 11. Shamima, which means 'tulips', is...Read full story
Microroft may be Declared Terrorist
WASHINGTON (RAYMOND) -- Today. State Troopers surrounded the mega G-Box makers campus to stop all shipments. "We've got a problem," said Gearart Fuselpeek, VP of lunch and launch in the G-Box division, "it's not a ca...Read full story
The Eiffel Tower Now Called 'Leaning Tower Of Paris' After Bombing
Al Quada has announced that the early morning bombing of The Eiffel Tower and the park around it, which was evacuated Tuesday night after a telephoned bomb threat, is in response to the many 9-11 memorial services held throughout the world this weeke...Read full story
Al-Qaeda Asks for Bailout Relief
Al-Qaeda lobbyists came to Washington to ask for $5 billion in relief so the organization can survive. They recently laid off 2000 terrorists and limited the amount of terrorist activities the remaining jihadists can partake in. Maimammah Atoldmi...Read full story
Moscow suicide booby bombers: Mossad suspected
Moscow - (Booby Traps): Mossad's Dubai hit squad is suspected of being behind the specialist Thought Police brainwashing division that trained today's Moscow Metro terror attackers. Two heavily burkhaed 'Jihad Janes' were caught on CCTV seconds be...Read full story
Experts say Target is exactly that
It is now strongly recommended that everyone stay out and away from the department store known as "Target." Experts agree that these stores are owned and operated by terrorists.Read full story
Robocallers are "Domestic Terrorists"
SACRAMENTO, CA. That tell-tale burp that often is followed by a long pause before a robocaller says hello may soon be heard no more. California state attorney general Xavier Becerra today criminalized all automatically dialed phone call solicitatio...Read full story
What's on Al Qaeda's List?
Receipts discovered at terrorists' hideout reveal their purchases for the next stop and what they may be up to next. CIA and other top secret organizations have tried to keep the list quiet because it might make itself look bad with all the money we have spent to get it: 150 pair of long underwear made in Cambodia. 200 pairs of pants from L.L. Bean. 100 Pairs of boots from Russian winter c...Read full story
OPEC Ministers Divulge Real Basis for Skyrocketing Oil/Gasoline Prices
OPEC (UPI)-Sources close to the world's primary oil producers have answered a question that has been on the mind of every American since the War on Terrorism began: Why is the cost of oil, and hence gasoline and diesel fuel, so high? The answer: Hurr...Read full story
Senator on Panel Says NSA is Sex Obsessed
Whistleblower Edward Snowden's revelations about widespread surveillance conducted by the NSA confirm many people's worst fears: once-lauded principles of American democracy are in jeopardy. All U.S. citizens are all being constantly tracked, monito...Read full story
Terrorists Prefer Guantanamo over Sing-sing
In a stunning turn of events, inmates of the recently closed Guantanamo Bay Prison have filed suit hoping to reopen the facility as an alternative to American prisons. "Please, we'll tell you anything you want, just get us out of here," inmate Kh...Read full story
Jane Fonda to End War on Terrorism
Washington, D.C.--Jane Fonda, that veteran vixen of Vietnam vehemence, is at it again. Only this time she's a-totin'! Yep, that once traitorous trollop has appealed to the Bush administration to join American and allied armed forces, lending her "ser...Read full story
TheSpoof.com Writer Ethan Leaves to Become Speech Writer for Ron Paul!
Former writer for TheSpoof.com, known only as "Ethan" has left to become Ron Paul's speech writer. His first assignment was used today in a policy speech on terrorism by Paul on the campaign trail in Davenport Iowa.Read full story
Administration Advisor: Jihad is a 'Legitimate Tenet of Islam'
John Brennan, Obama's top counter-terrorism adviser, called jihad a "legitimate tenet of Islam," and further argued the term "jihadists" should not be used to describe the jihadists that are America's enemies. At Center for Strategic and Internat...Read full story
An Open Letter to Barack Obama
Dear Mr. President, It has recently come to my attention that the Taliban may be training monkeys to attack U.S. soldiers. Everybody's talking about it. Even CNN has joined in the discussion. Now, I know what you're thinking - "Em, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." But my traffic-stopping good looks must make like a prom date and take a backseat for now. What we need to fo...Read full story
Terror Trial Slated for Governor's Island
NEW YORK, NY -- After marathon negotiations throughout the week with Mayor Bloomberg's office, the Port Authority and New Jersey's Governor Christie, Attorney General Erica Holder's office is expected to make a major announcement on Monday. Sources c...Read full story
Emergency COBRA Meeting at Downing Street as US Ambassador Says Johnson-Trump Relationship Will Be 'Sensational'
Panicked Downing Street sycophants and lickspittles were said to be running around in circles this morning, as America's ambassador to the UK said relations between the UK and the US are going to be "sensational" now that Boris Johnson is nominally i...Read full story