HURRICANE HAVEN, Florida – (Satire News) - The Eyes Like a Hawk Detective Agency has just made it known that three individuals who are believed to be charter members of the Mofoliban terrorist group have just purchased a fast food hamburger restaurant, in Hurricane Haven for $2.7 million cash.
The three men who have been identified as Mustafalla Fu, Abu Alamin, and Mohammed Al Shaker Jr., all have valid U.S. drivers licenses, as well as credit cards from VISA, Discover, American Express, and Alpha One.
Mustafalla Fu is even a member of the Anglopalian Church, the Optimist Club, and Costco.
Abu Alamin is reportedly dating a Hooter’s girl as well as a high-priced call girl who is originally from Hackensack, New Jersey.
And Mohammed Al Shaker, Jr., is a big fan of the Miami Marlins baseball team and drives a $200,000 Lamborghini Murcielago, that he boasts can go from zero to 180 in 1.6 seconds.
Meanwhile the Florida state police has made it known to President Biden that they are closely watching the Mofoliban trio and they will be arrested if they so much as jaywalk, spit on the street, or sing a song by Donny and Marie Osmond.