MANHATTAN - (Satire News) - Press Extra is reporting that a notorious Taliban operative has been found living in Trump Tower.
The terrorist is named Moosa Bin Wakeen, and he had been staying on the floor right below the suite of Melania and Barron Trump.
Wakeen is wanted for stealing two dozen two-humped camels and then transporting them across country lines from Afghanistan to Kamgooganda.
Moosa was only five when his grandmother, Ida Su Wakeen, bought him his first rocket launcher. It took him a while to learn to master firing it, and after destroying his grandmother's barn and her sewing room, he finally got the hang of it.
SIDENOTE: Melania was asked if she recalls ever seeing him, and she replied that she had, and noted that she would have coffee and bagels with him at a local Starbucks on Thursday mornings, oblivious to his Taliban ties.
