UK terror detention limit is longest of any democracy

Funny story written by Mark James

Monday, 12 November 2007

image for UK terror detention limit is longest of any democracy
Eedar's father and solicitor plead for his son's release - 80 years ago this week

A survey by human rights organisation, Liberty, of terror detention limits around the world has shown that the UK has the harshest regime of any democracy.

At 99 years before charges are brought, the limit has provoked criticism world wide. The maximum times before charge in comparable countries are 48 hours in the US, five days in Spain and seven and a half days in Turkey.

The campaign to reform the law has focused on the upcoming 100th birthday of Yorkshireman Albert 'Al' K. Eedar. Arrested during his second birthday party, Al has been in prison awaiting charge for almost 98 years.

Police have spent the past century collecting evidence and putting together and an insider has said that they now have "compelling evidence" that Eedar was a leading Islamic terrorist in the early twentieth century. The evidence includes at least one incidence of lewd conduct and one of being drunk in a public place. When it was pointed out that Muslim's do not drink, the Police insider said "well, that goes to show how clever they really are".

If found guilty, Eedar could be jailed for up to 50 years and, with parole, could be out before his 126th birthday.

Evil Eedar, as the tabloids have nicknamed him, claims to be a devout Christian and he points to the fact that he was arrested on the way to the same church he had attended since he was a born. He was with his mother at the time because his father, the Reverend Clive Eedar was preparing to preach at the local parish church.

Sir Ian Blair, head of the Metropolitan Police, when quizzed about the imprisonment said "For God's sake, if you want evidence, we can find evidence. If he was still at large today, he'd have been shot - so I don't understand what he's moaning about. I will not resign".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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