London - Today the rejuvenated Tory Party, lead by retired former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher have announced a two front attack. One will be to reclaim all former British Colonies and the other will be to overthrow the current British Parliamentary system and restore the Monarchy which will soon be lead by King Charles.
"The United States has acted cheeky for years and we will no longer be Washington's poodle!" exclaimed Thatcher at a rally for "Prince" Charles, "Starting with the American Colonies we are hereby serving notice our intention to regain sovereignty over our territories."
Vice chair for the Tories, Mr. John Cleese added, "If the Americans don't except our terms, we will be forced to result to extreme measures! We will begin beaming episodes of Benny Hill to all U.S. channels until they surrender! These terrorists have got to begin to understand there are certain civilized standards that must be lived up to. Standards like rugby and cricket!!"
The White House did not issue a formal response, but one White House staffer said, " I believed the war with the British to be over a couple of hundred years ago, but forced Benny Hill viewing might reignite matters."
