Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 4 March 2019

image for Shamima Begum Has Been Fitted For Some Clogs
Holland is part of Germany

Shamima Begum, the 19-year-old former ISIS bride who has had her British citizenship rescinded by the UK government, is to go and live in Holland, and has been fitted for some clogs.

She is a whopping size 11.

Shamima, which means 'tulips', is married to Dutch national, Yago Riedijk, 27, from Arnhem, and the former Bethnal Green girl took time off from selling her story to gullible newspaper reporters yesterday, to get measured for a pair of the cumbersome wooden shoes all Dutch people wear, all the time, even in bed.

Mr. Riedijk is currently languishing in jail in northern Syria.

Shamima has confessed to being undecided at the moment as to whether to plump for living in Holland or in the Netherlands.

"We're not quite sure yet," said Shamima. "They both look nice."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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