Where are they now? Brentford Nylons
Those were the days or rather the nights. The nights when you and your blonde teenage girlfriend would indulge in carnal pleasures, all snug and warm in her single bed in Willesden with its Brentford Nylons fitted sheets and pillow case. (Sorry, am I reminiscing too much here?) In the morning, you'd reluctantly drag your sweating exhausted body away from her charms and set foot out of the bed only...
Read full story
Vacuum cleaner sex attachment to 'polish' you off
Dyson, the vacuum cleaner manufacturers, have surprised the market by introducing a clip on attachment for sexually deprived men. The accessory fits on to the hose part of the up-right and is said to provide a gentle vibrating 'mouth' for men...
Read full story
Bird With Big Tits To Be Next Conservative Leader
In the fall-out of Prime Minister Theresa May's dancing debacle in Kenya last month, leading Conservatives have said that what's needed to carry their party forward, and to keep 'in step' and 'in tune' with the Great British public, is a woman with h...
Read full story
Guy with worlds biggest penis dates gal with worlds smallest vagina
Dave Pekering 36, of Oxford England, has a problem. The girl he's now dating, Marishka Kiezlowski 24, Moscow Russia, has entered the Guinness Book of World records with the title of "
Read full story
Ex-Navy Pilot Saw One UFO Attempt to F**k Another UFO
Recently, many ex-navy pilots have come forward in the U. S. to say they have seen UFO's near their planes doing weird things. One ex- pilot recently anonymously described a 'Close Encounter'. "This large Bluish Flower - shaped UFO was hang…
Read full story
The Secret Life of NFL Players and NFL Cheerleaders (Sex Romps and Sexcapades)
NEW YORK CITY - (Sports Satire) - There is very secretive world that goes on behind the scenes of the National Football League. According to Sportsapalooza writer Pia Confetti, who spent two years as a cheerleader for the Dallas Cowboys, she reve…
Read full story
Elizabeth Hurley Talks Openly About Her Addiction To Sex
Chimp pimps
Women's study on average penis size yields negative results.
Man With World's Longest Penis And Woman With World's Largest Vagina To Go On Night Out With Man With The World's Shortest Penis And Woman With World's Smallest Vagina
A Women’s College Softball Coach is Accused of Getting to Third Base With Her Second Baseman
Nude Jamie Lee Curtis Shots Show Her Boobs Are Still In Good Shape
Prostitutes In Pueblo, Colorado Are Reportedly Acceptiing Marijuana In Lieu of Cash
Miley Cyrus Vagina Now More Popular Than Britney Spears Vagina
Indian Airline Claims Sex Flight A Success
Where are they now? The Mystery Blonde
Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Reunion Party Ends In Chaos And Disgrace
The More Sex - the Better is Your Brain Health - New Study

Science Finds Orgasms are Good for Back Pain
After making 30 Men and women volunteers do a Scientific experiment - (some of the scientists participated as some of the women were attractive). It has been scientifically proven that frequent Sex is necessary for a man's healthy back. If y…
Read full story
Small Lip-Shaped Kissing Robot Plugs into your Phone - Use When Your "Girlfriend" is Away
CCN reports on a small Kissing Robot that attaches to your cell phone and has an app. It was developed by lonely Chinese tech students. The round plastic device with realistic silicone lips, plug in your phone and during your call you can talk…
Read full story
China Recalls 3 Million Fortune Cookies Because They Had X-Rated Fortunes
HONG KONG, China - (Satire News) - Word filtering out of the republic of China is that President Xi Jinping is fit to be tied. The leader of the most populous country in the universe has just learned that 3 million fortune cookies are being recall…
Read full story
Doctor Who Star David Tennant To Return To His Porn Film Roots
David Tennant, the star of Doctor Who, is to leave the show and return to the scene where he first made his mark in showbusiness - the Porn Industry. Tennant, who has played the Doctor for three series, was seen injured by a single shot from a Dal...
Read full story
Stormy Daniels Reveals That Donald Trump’s Woodies Were Nothing To Write Home About
LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) – After years of keeping quiet, Stormy Daniels has finally revealed lots of interesting tidbits about her clandestine affair with Donald Johnny Trump alias “Pee Pee Boy.” Daniels told Boom Boom News Reporter Hacienda Fi…
Read full story
Porn Star Who Totally Oozes Sex, Pretzel Garibaldi, Stars In The X-Rated Film "Sex Is Just A 3-Letter Word For Fuck"
HOLLYWOOD - (Porn News) - Bedroom Pillow Talk reporter Carolina Chipotle interviewed the nation's number one porn star, Pretzel Garibaldi, at The La Brea Tar Pits Diner. Miss Chipotle noted that Pretz, as she is called by her relatives and landsca…
Read full story
Breaking news…
Interested in writing your own spoof news stories like these?
Yes, tell me more!Seven day catch up
Check out anything you've missed with the archive:

The Stunningly Beautiful Virginia Senator Who Voted Against Banning Porn Reveals That She's a Nymphomaniac
RICHMOND, Virginia - (Satire News) - The Alpha Beta News Agency has just announced that Sen. Michelle Kettlewood (D-Appomattox), who voted against banning porn in the state of Virginia has now made news. Sen. Kettlewood, 48, who every male senator…
Read full story
The Reason Why The Company That Was Manufacturing Pizza-Flavored Condoms Has Stopped
PHILADELPHIA – (Satire News) – The Rubberized Rubber Company of Philadelphia has informed the public that it will discontinue their line of pizza-flavored condoms. Lana D. Tinhaus, a spokeswoman for RRC stated that they decided on the move after r…
Read full story
Muslim Prostitute Arrested In West Yorkshire Town
Police in West Yorkshire who arrested a Muslim woman on charges of prostitution after she was seen loitering on a street corner dressed in seductive Muslim-style garb, had to call for specialist lifting equipment when the woman steadfastly refused to...
Read full story
Hooters waitress, Kyla Ebbert, almost thrown off plane for wearing work clothes; eye-candy now contraband food item on all flights
San Diego, California - Real life college student and Hooters waitress 23-year-old, Kyla Ebbert, was nearly thrown off a Southwest airline flight by a crew member for allegedly dressing too provocatively for their self-proclaimed family airline. She...
Read full story
A vagina is a terrible thing to waste
Stovington, Vermont - The Vagina Appreciation Guild In North America (VAGINA) has released a study in which they claim that America's vaginas are grossly underused. Indeed, their interviews of 1,000 vaginal life support systems (women) showed disa...
Read full story
New Sex Study Reveals Semen In the Crossfire
SAN DIEGO, California - Researchers have long known that sex can be fun, that people who have sex often tend to live longer, healthier lives, and that sexually active men have healthier sperm. What researchers did not know is that the collection o...
Read full story
The LPGA Finally Agrees To Allow It’s Female Golfers To Wear Bikini Swimsuits
ATLANTA – (Sports Satire) – The Sports Bet Gazette is reporting that the LPGA powers-that-be have finally gotten with the program and they are going to implement a clothing policy that media experts say will increase TV viewership by at least 700%.
Read full storyFunny Sex Headlines
-
Hooters waitress, Kyla Ebbert, almost thrown off plane for wearing work clothes; eye-candy now contraband food item on all flights
-
Doctor Who Star David Tennant To Return To His Porn Film Roots
-
New Sex Study Reveals Semen In the Crossfire
-
Where are they now? Brentford Nylons
-
Muslim Prostitute Arrested In West Yorkshire Town
-
The Reason Why The Company That Was Manufacturing Pizza-Flavored Condoms Has Stopped
-
China Recalls 3 Million Fortune Cookies Because They Had X-Rated Fortunes
-
The Secret Life of NFL Players and NFL Cheerleaders (Sex Romps and Sexcapades)
-
The Stunningly Beautiful Virginia Senator Who Voted Against Banning Porn Reveals That She's a Nymphomaniac
-
Ex-Navy Pilot Saw One UFO Attempt to F**k Another UFO
-
Vacuum cleaner sex attachment to 'polish' you off
-
Guy with worlds biggest penis dates gal with worlds smallest vagina
-
A vagina is a terrible thing to waste
-
Bird With Big Tits To Be Next Conservative Leader
-
Woman Kicks Man In Gonads
-
Stormy Daniels Reveals That Donald Trump’s Woodies Were Nothing To Write Home About
-
The LPGA Finally Agrees To Allow It’s Female Golfers To Wear Bikini Swimsuits
-
Porn Star Who Totally Oozes Sex, Pretzel Garibaldi, Stars In The X-Rated Film "Sex Is Just A 3-Letter Word For Fuck"
-
Science Finds Orgasms are Good for Back Pain
-
Small Lip-Shaped Kissing Robot Plugs into your Phone - Use When Your "Girlfriend" is Away