Sex Spoof News

23 April 2021

Faulty Product Warning From Rubber Johnny Company

A company that manufactures and sells huge quantities of contraceptives, has issued an online warning about several batches of its product which were illegally manufactured by a rival company, and may be somewhat unreliable. The advert, which can…

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A Federal Judge Denies Trump’s Request to Seal His Extensive Sex Records

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Presidential Satire) - A federal judge in Wyoming has denied President Trump’s request to have his voluminous sex records sealed. Trump’s head attorney, Segundo Juarez, argued that they will fight tooth-and-nail to prevent the…

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Where are they now? Brentford Nylons

Those were the days or rather the nights. The nights when you and your blonde teenage girlfriend would indulge in carnal pleasures, all snug and warm in her single bed in Willesden with its Brentford Nylons fitted sheets and pillow case. (Sorry, am I reminiscing too much here?) In the morning, you'd reluctantly drag your sweating exhausted body away from her charms and set foot out of the bed only...

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Prostitutes In Pueblo, Colorado Are Reportedly Acceptiing Marijuana In Lieu of Cash

PUEBLO, Colorado - A member of The Pueblo City Council has just informed the public that they've learned that prostitutes working the downtown area of Pueblo have developed a new payment method. It appears that the streetwalkers are now accepting...

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Couple in argument over last Rolo

A man and his wife from Brighton have told friends of how a cosy night in front of the television turned into a major incident, after they became embroiled in an argument over the last Rolo. Just to clear this up, they're both from Brighton, not j…

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Blackpool Pleasure Beach To Embrace Prostitution

There was great excitement in the British holiday industry yesterday, when it was announced that, from next year, one of the English Tourist Board's most vaunted attractions, Blackpool Pleasure Beach, will change its focus a little. The Pleasure B…

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Vacuum cleaner sex attachment to 'polish' you off

Nude Jamie Lee Curtis Shots Show Her Boobs Are Still In Good Shape

Nadiya Hussain: "I F*cking Hate Baking and Paul Hollywood's Squirty Cream"

Muslim Prostitute Arrested In West Yorkshire Town

President Trump Doubles Down on “Injecting Disinfectant” with Additional Advice

Bird With Big Tits To Be Next Conservative Leader

Bill Cosby Doing 'Funny Face' Requests For Fellow Prisoners

GQ Poll Shows Women Find Karate Stance Most Sexy

Kate Silverton Lipstick Application Sparks Viewer Complaints

Indian Airline Claims Sex Flight A Success

Man Tells Wife He Has No Idea Why Amazon Sent Giant Black Item To Him

Customer Finds Just What She's Looking For To Get Rid Of Grandad's Spunk Stain

Spoof writer says Spoof is now full of stories about 'nothing'

A writer who contributes to a satirical news website, has said that many of the stories that the site is now peppered with on a daily basis, are not really about anything. The writer - me - said that there had been a time in the dim and distant pa…

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Man Wasn't Aware That Author Had Died From Syphilis

It's not usually the sort of thing most people consider when they pick up a book to read it, but when one man started reading at the weekend, he could hardly have been less prepared for the news he was about to learn about the nature of the author's…

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Hairdressers Now Offering 'Other Services'

The Coronavirus Lockdown is finally over, for some businesses, and, as hairdressers got back to work last week complete with their face masks, it became apparent that many in the trade have 'branched out' into other areas of the hospitality trade.

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Tokyo's Olympic Sex Doll Mascots Are Very Deflated

Tokyo, Japan - The 14-foot-tall Olympic sex doll mascots, Kinki and Minki, are very depressed about the Games being cancelled this summer, and moved back to 2021. "They won't even wear their volleyball bikinis!" explained Titzi Wowi, the mascots'…

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Bill Cosby Found With Two Drumsticks Shoved Up His Rectum

There were scenes of total panic at 'unlock' this morning, when jailed comedian, Bill Cosby, was found in his cell with a pair of drumsticks shoved up his anus. Cosby, star of 'The Cosby Show', and co-writer of the show's theme tune, 'Kiss Me', us...

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President Trump May Have Been Given Blow Job By Anne Sacoolas

It's been rumored that, after she was summoned to the White House to meet the parents of a young motorcyclist she had killed in England in August, Anne Sacoolas, the wife of a US intelligence officer, may have given President Donald Trump a blow job.

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Daisy Duke Short Shorts Continue To Be Popular

Fashion trends come and go, but the perennial popularity of one particular item of clothing has surprised fashion gurus and fashionistas alike. Daisy Duke short shorts, the ultra-short shorts worn by Catherine Bach in her role as Daisy Duke in the…

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Man Became Sexually Aroused In Queue At Bakery

A man waiting in line at a bakery shop in New York has told friends how, in looking around at the various items for sale, he became sexually aroused. Arthur Fandango stood in the queue at the Jake's Cakes bakery in Queens, when his absent-minded g...

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Pooner - The True Origin Of The Word Finally Unearthed

The modern urban dictionary defines a "pooner" in a number of different ways, but a lexicographer who frequently makes use of the Bodelian Library in Oxford has turned the closeted world of lexicography completely on its head. Clem Baker, of Abing...

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Councillor told what dogging actually is

Mithering on the Trent councillor, Mark Oneybags, has revealed to us that he now knows what dogging is. After banning a local ukulele group from the park due to a complaint from a local dogging group, Mr Oneybags has been told through Twitter what…

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Tinder Adds New “COVID-19 Positive” Option For Users

SAN FRANCISCO - In a bid to stay relevant during the recent global pandemic, the popular dating app, Tinder, has added a new option for those testing positive for COVID-19. “At Tinder, we have a simple mission – that everyone deserves the opportun...

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Sex Every Night For Some Couples During Lockdown

It's being suggested, in some circles, that the closure of public places where people gather in numbers, to attempt to prevent the spread of the Coronavirus, is having a positive effect on married couples, some of whom now admit to having sex every n...

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Where are they now? Sexy Nurses' Uniforms

Once upon a time being an inpatient, outpatient or visitor to hospital had its upside. I'm talking of course about those nurses in their candy-striped little uniforms with their starched white aprons and their tiny lace hats perched on top of their p...

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Miley Cyrus Vagina Now More Popular Than Britney Spears Vagina

There was great excitement in the entertainment sector today when the results of a nationwide survey revealed that the vagina owned by Miley Cyrus is now more popular than that of Britney Spears. The vaginas, both very similar in design, are curre...

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