Theodore McCarrick Hopes There Is No God
The former archbishop of Washington, D.C., who is currently mired in allegations of sexual abuse, has said that he hopes that there is no God, otherwise he is in a shitload of trouble. Theodore McCarrick, now 88, faces charges of sexually abusing...
Read full story"Increase Birth Rate," "Sex Vacations" - Goals of White Ultranationalists
Lausanne, Switzerland. Special to The Spoof. At this week's international conference of white ultranationalists from Europe, North America and other primarily white areas, the overwhelming concern of delegates was the low birth rate associated with t...
Read full storyMan Became Sexually Aroused In Queue At Bakery
A man waiting in line at a bakery shop in New York has told friends how, in looking around at the various items for sale, he became sexually aroused. Arthur Fandango stood in the queue at the Jake's Cakes bakery in Queens, when his absent-minded g...
Read full storyNew York Woman Finds that Hot Water with Lemon Reduces Her Kinky Sexual Cravings
Kim Davis, a 32-year-old woman living in New York City, was thrilled to discover that hot water with a squeeze of lemon substantially ameliorated her kinky sexual cravings. "Who knew?" she said. Always sexually adventurous, Kim had been troubl...
Read full story
Man With World's Longest Penis And Woman With World's Largest Vagina To Go On Night Out With Man With The World's Shortest Penis And Woman With World's Smallest Vagina
New York Diner Arrested For Sexual Harassment, After Tipping Waitress
London Hospital Denies Offering Sexual Favours from Nurses
Sexy Woman Knelt Provocatively With Her Legs Wide Open
Obscene Word Wins Scrabble World Championship
Joanne and Morgan's Guardian Blind Date Leads to Claim of Sexism
You Know You're Old...Further Thoughts...
Vacuum cleaner sex attachment to 'polish' you off
Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Reunion Party Ends In Chaos And Disgrace
Dr. Quigley Answers Couples' Fertility Questions
Bill Cosby Found With Two Drumsticks Shoved Up His Rectum
Charlie Brown Loses Virginity
Storm Blows Fast and Wet through Desperate Desert Town
A powerful rainstorm blew fast and wet through the desperate desert town of Henderson, Nevada, this weekend, bringing sticky sighs of relief - and of sheer pleasure - to residents desperate for lubrication. "Praise Jesus, was I happy to get some,"...
Read full storyValentine's Day Cards Withdrawn From Shelves In 'Porn' Row
A series of Valentine's Day cards has had to be removed from the shelves of cardshops all across the country, after there were complaints from customers who said their content was "nothing short of pornographic". Valentine's Day, on February 14, i...
Read full story"I'm Looking For Somebody Who Is Sexually Experienced" Still Best Way Of Not Saying "I'm A Self-Absorbed, Insecure, Materialistic, Valueless Queen Who Needs My Crotch Pleased" on Dating Profiles
Michigan. With her complete lack of personality, values, or even the ability to look deep within herself and see her own personal flaws, Stephanie Greenfield, 39, got on a dating profile last week and began searching for her true love after ruthless...
Read full storyParty Time as Makers of Viagra, Chapstick and Sensodyne Toothpaste Combine
"It's a no-brainer. Who wouldn't want to sell all the ingredients for the after-party? Viagra for that long lasting erection, along with Sensodyne for oral health, and Chapstick to moisten those dry, cracked lips. We also do Panadol for the hangover,...
Read full story
Breaking news…
Interested in writing your own spoof news stories like these?
Yes, tell me more!Seven day catch up
Check out anything you've missed with the archive:
Upskirty Stick To Be Removed From Stores
A company that makes smartphone accessories has announced that its 'Upskirty Stick', the newly-designed successor to the 'Selfie Stick', has been pulled from shelves after the government banned the product. O'Sodomy Accessories say the 'Upskirty S...
Read full storyYes, Virginia, Santa Claus Has Donned "Blackface"
Richmond Va.; It took a government worker for the Department of Motor Vehicles suffering confusion with the line of succession rules in Virginia, to bring national attention to a bizarre statewide descent into madness. A peculiar rash of unsolic...
Read full storyWhere are they now? Brentford Nylons
Those were the days or rather the nights. The nights when you and your blonde teenage girlfriend would indulge in carnal pleasures, all snug and warm in her single bed in Willesden with its Brentford Nylons fitted sheets and pillow case. (Sorry, am I reminiscing too much here?) In the morning, you'd reluctantly drag your sweating exhausted body away from her charms and set foot out of the bed only...
Read full storyPope Admits Catholic Church Is Now Like Something Out Of A Marquis de Sade Novel
Pope Francis has admitted that there have been "grave errors" in the administration of affairs within the Catholic church down the years, and that, at times, things have resembled erotic scenarios and events such as the public might have read about i...
Read full storyLondon City Gent Arrested For Sexual Harassment, After Tipping His Hat To Woman
A city gent in a pin-striped suit and a bowler hat, carrying a walking-stick, has been accused of sexual harassment, after he tipped his hat to a woman in a London street. Thomas Middleton-Markham, 56, of city stockbroker firm Grabbit and Quickly,...
Read full storyProfessor in Corpse Sex Plan
The maverick German professor Gunther von Hagens who caused a storm with his public autopsy has revealed he wants to show dead people having sex in an exhibition he bizarrely plans to call 'Kinky Corpses'. He said: "I am really thinking of it, but...
Read full storyRSPCA Calls for Government Action on Spanking the Monkey
"It's a cruel and unnecessary practice, and we need to get a grip on it," said Mr Eric J. Throbbing-Gristle, Chief Inspector of The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. "I am talking about the passion for monkey spanking as exhibit...
Read full storyNude Jamie Lee Curtis Shots Show Her Boobs Are Still In Good Shape
The hot news from Hollywoodland, according to unmanned sources (?) appears to be that Jamie Lee Curtis's breasts are more or less as firm and malleable as they were when she first exposed them, in the Eddie Murphy comedy vehicle, Trading Places with...
Read full storyFunny Sex Headlines
-
Hurley Wedding Rights Flogged to "Asian Babes"
-
Miley Cyrus Photo Surfaces, Intended For Boyfriends Eyes Only, Paris Hilton Manipulation?
-
Rude Drawing Found In Condensation On Bus Window
-
The Secret England Footballer: The Swedes and Me Looking Like a Turnip
-
Cloud In Shape Of Penis Draws Big Crowd
-
It's Back! The Monobrow Leaves Men Gasping for it and more...
-
Dr. Quigley: The Editor Apologises
-
Kavanaugh Allegations To Include Upskirting?
-
The Balham Tourist Board Guide for Japanese Visitors
-
Man Begrudgingly Went To Xmas Party, But Ended Up Being The Life And Soul Of It
-
The Jungle Book revealed to be based on a true story of prostitution and bestality
-
Disney Sues Over Porno Film 'Chitty-Chitty Gang Bang'
-
Male Equality League Publishes Manifesto
-
Jeremy Thorpe - Margaret Thatcher Love Affair Revealed
-
Granny Needs A Pussy Pounding
-
Bird With Big Tits To Be Next Conservative Leader
-
Bill Cosby To Undergo Anal Check-up
-
Man Tells Wife He Has No Idea Why Amazon Sent Giant Black Item To Him
-
Arabic Porno Magazine Goes On Sale From Today
-
Monsanto’s First-Ever Genetically Modified Man Proves a Hit with Ladies
