Sex Spoof News

16 May 2022

The Pope Mandates That Catholics Limit Sex To Once A Month!

THE VATICAN - (Satire News) - Pope Francisco has just issued a sexual order which gives him the authority to mandate intimate matters to the world's Catholics. The mandate states that due to several (unnamed) reasons, the high pope has ruled that…

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Where are they now? Brentford Nylons

Those were the days or rather the nights. The nights when you and your blonde teenage girlfriend would indulge in carnal pleasures, all snug and warm in her single bed in Willesden with its Brentford Nylons fitted sheets and pillow case. (Sorry, am I reminiscing too much here?) In the morning, you'd reluctantly drag your sweating exhausted body away from her charms and set foot out of the bed only...

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Local naturalist denies inappropriate relationship with leafcutter ant

A 54-year-old entomologist from Whitechapel in East London last night strongly refuted claims made by a member of the camera crew who accompanied him on a recent trip to study the behaviour of leaf-cutter ants in Borneo that he had a enjoyed a numbe…

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The Reason Why The Company That Was Manufacturing Pizza-Flavored Condoms Has Stopped

PHILADELPHIA – (Satire News) – The Rubberized Rubber Company of Philadelphia has informed the public that it will discontinue their line of pizza-flavored condoms. Lana D. Tinhaus, a spokeswoman for RRC stated that they decided on the move after r…

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Baskin-Robbins Announces Their Brand New Adult-Oriented Ice Cream

ICE CREAM CREEK, Vermont - The Daily Max has just informed the public that the nation’s number ice cream restaurant has just come out with a brand new ice cream flavor that is geared strictly to the adult patrons. Reporter Savannah Stiletto state…

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Bill Cosby Found With Two Drumsticks Shoved Up His Rectum

There were scenes of total panic at 'unlock' this morning, when jailed comedian, Bill Cosby, was found in his cell with a pair of drumsticks shoved up his anus. Cosby, star of 'The Cosby Show', and co-writer of the show's theme tune, 'Kiss Me', us...

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The Dallas Cowboys Lose to The Pittsburgh Steelers 16-3, But Their Sexy Cowboys Cheerleaders Capture the Hearts and Crotches of The American Males

Semi-Nude Italian Women Protest Sexy Hot Berlusconi Bunga Bunga Parties

Man Buys Yellow Shoes After Vendor Tells Him They'll Be A Hit With The Ladies

A Very Reliable Source Confirms That Melania Trump and President Putin Did In Fact Engage In A Bit of Dilly Dally

A Women’s College Softball Coach is Accused of Getting to Third Base With Her Second Baseman

Zoo Animals Rape & Eat Austrian Sex Freak

The Vatican Mandates That Effective Immediately Adult Catholics Will Be Prohibited From Having Sex On Wednesdays (Hump Day)

Prince Andrew Digs A Big Hole, Then Gets Into It

Alabama Legalizes Rape

Only 2,000 UK prostitutes report causes 2012 London Olympics panic

Where are they now? Sexy Nurses' Uniforms

Earth Women flock to Vulcan

The Brand New ViaVag Women's Orgasm Pill Is Revolutionizing Women’s Sex Lives

SAN FRANCISCO – (Satire News) – BuzzFuzz, Boom Boom News, and Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine, along with dozens of other news publications are calling the newly developed ViaVag orgasm pill for women the greatest sexual invention since the Apple Tree. Rep…

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SEX in Heaven? Yes, Including Premarital, Divorce. Abortion... & More

This Spoof writer, going on 92, is thinking a bit more about eternity then he did only a decade ago. With his wife already there, he wishes he could be as certain about reuniting with a spouse after death as the late president George H W Bush was abo…

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Florida Outlaws Sexual Intercourse in The Back Seat of A Car

TALLAHASSEE, Florida – (Satire News) – The Florida state legislature has just passed Resolution Bill #17-4169 SI, which states that it is now strictly forbidden for a couple to engage in sexual intercourse in the back of a vehicle, namely a car, a tr…

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Vacuum cleaner sex attachment to 'polish' you off

Dyson, the vacuum cleaner manufacturers, have surprised the market by introducing a clip on attachment for sexually deprived men. The accessory fits on to the hose part of the up-right and is said to provide a gentle vibrating 'mouth' for men...

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The Secret England Footballer: World Cup Shambles, My Personal Roundup

By the time you read this, I'll be back in Blighty doing the biz with the owner's daughter again. Just what I need and so does she. We'll be off to Ibiza for some pre-season R&R shortly. Well, never let it be said that I didn't do my best for...

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Muslim Prostitute Arrested In West Yorkshire Town

Police in West Yorkshire who arrested a Muslim woman on charges of prostitution after she was seen loitering on a street corner dressed in seductive Muslim-style garb, had to call for specialist lifting equipment when the woman steadfastly refused to...

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A Gynecologist In Reno Discovers One of His Patients Has 3 G-Spots

RENO, Nevada – (Satire News) – A doctor in Reno has just informed BuzzFuzz that one of his patients (whose name he refused to release) has an astoundingly amazing 3 G-spots. Dr. Clement P. Pushmuffin, 64, said that in his 37 years in the female in…

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Nude Jamie Lee Curtis Shots Show Her Boobs Are Still In Good Shape

The hot news from Hollywoodland, according to unmanned sources (?) appears to be that Jamie Lee Curtis's breasts are more or less as firm and malleable as they were when she first exposed them, in the Eddie Murphy comedy vehicle, Trading Places with...

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Latest from the CDC: COVID-19 is an STD

As mentioned in my last post, the Coronavirus Detectives Club (CDC) is now telling us that COVID-19 is an STD. Spokesperson David Shlong explained that an STD is any disease that can be contracted during sex, and STD's can basically be b...

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A Woman In Dallas Claims She Can Give Herself Multiple Orgasms Simply By Thinking About An Eggplant

DALLAS – (Satire News) – Milly Dellapicker, 28, recently told her gynecologist that she has a unique ability to give herself multiple orgasms simply by thinking about an eggplant. Milly says she's still single, and has been giving herself dozens o…

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Hooters waitress, Kyla Ebbert, almost thrown off plane for wearing work clothes; eye-candy now contraband food item on all flights

San Diego, California - Real life college student and Hooters waitress 23-year-old, Kyla Ebbert, was nearly thrown off a Southwest airline flight by a crew member for allegedly dressing too provocatively for their self-proclaimed family airline. She...

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Chimp pimps

Today's headlines have been abuzz with news that chimpanzees will trade food for sex. But what the mainstream outlets don't mention...

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Porn Star Sued For Sexual Harassment At Work

A male porn star has filed a lawsuit against his co-star, claiming sexual harassment in the work place. Stud Driver, 36, star of famed pornographic motion pictures such as Robocock, The Sperminator (parts 1 and 2) and Harry Cocker and the Moist Ch...

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J.K Rowling to reissue the Harry Potter series for more mature audiences

In an effort to re-capitalize on the Harry Potter franchise, J.K. Rowling has announced she will rewrite all the series of books with slightly different titles and story-lines to appeal to older readers. The first book will be called Harry Potter and the Sorcerer Get Stoned. In this delightful tale, Harry goes to Hogwarts for the first time and unknowingly finds himself in the middle of a drug...

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