Sex Spoof News

8 July 2020

Tokyo's Olympic Sex Doll Mascots Are Very Deflated

Tokyo, Japan - The 14-foot-tall Olympic sex doll mascots, Kinki and Minki, are very depressed about the Games being cancelled this summer, and moved back to 2021. "They won't even wear their volleyball bikinis!" explained Titzi Wowi, the mascots'...

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PMQ titters at Miliband's 'the Chancellor has lashed himself to the mast ...not for the first time perhaps!'

London - A thinly veiled S&M joke at PMQs today saw UK Chancellor George Osborne squirming in his Commons front bench seat. Opposition Leader Ed Miliband's swipe at Government economic policy saw a nudge-nudge/wink-wink remark allude to tabloi...

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Tinder Adds New “COVID-19 Positive” Option For Users

SAN FRANCISCO - In a bid to stay relevant during the recent global pandemic, the popular dating app, Tinder, has added a new option for those testing positive for COVID-19. “At Tinder, we have a simple mission – that everyone deserves the opportun...

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Bill Cosby Found With Two Drumsticks Shoved Up His Rectum

There were scenes of total panic at 'unlock' this morning, when jailed comedian, Bill Cosby, was found in his cell with a pair of drumsticks shoved up his anus. Cosby, star of 'The Cosby Show', and co-writer of the show's theme tune, 'Kiss Me', us...

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Where are they now? Brentford Nylons

Those were the days or rather the nights. The nights when you and your blonde teenage girlfriend would indulge in carnal pleasures, all snug and warm in her single bed in Willesden with its Brentford Nylons fitted sheets and pillow case. (Sorry, am I reminiscing too much here?) In the morning, you'd reluctantly drag your sweating exhausted body away from her charms and set foot out of the bed only...

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President Trump Has Orgy With Demi Lovato, Nicki Minaj, Kellyanne Conway And Meghan Markle

WASHINGTON, DC - White House officials are, this morning, denying rumours of a spectacular orgy in which Trump participated. That's President Donald Trump, you understand. Some writers don't explain that; they just say 'Trump', inferring some k...

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Women are naked under clothes

Tiger Woods GAINS A New Sponsor

Hooters waitress, Kyla Ebbert, almost thrown off plane for wearing work clothes; eye-candy now contraband food item on all flights

President Trump Doubles Down on “Injecting Disinfectant” with Additional Advice

Disney Sues Over Porno Film 'Chitty-Chitty Gang Bang'

Nadiya Hussain: "I F*cking Hate Baking and Paul Hollywood's Squirty Cream"

Man With World's Longest Penis And Woman With World's Largest Vagina To Go On Night Out With Man With The World's Shortest Penis And Woman With World's Smallest Vagina

Mexican Condom Company Introduces "Son-Brero"

Latest from the CDC: COVID-19 is an STD

J.K Rowling to reissue the Harry Potter series for more mature audiences

Chinese Submarine on Secret Sex Mission

Prince Andrew Impassive Over Jeffrey Epstein Death

Funny story - Through Unflinching Honesty and Vulnerability, Nashville Man Scores Girlfriend’s Permission for Licit Polyamory with Threesome Potential

Through Unflinching Honesty and Vulnerability, Nashville Man Scores Girlfriend’s Permission for Licit Polyamory with Threesome Potential

In a dating tour de force, after being contacted out of the blue by an attractive older woman he’d always had a thing for but had never succeeded in enticing into the sack, 37-year-old Clem Lyons of Nashville, Tennessee, scored the permission of the...

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Jeremy Thorpe - Margaret Thatcher Love Affair Revealed

Following on from the successful BBC true life drama "A Very English Scandal", a hitherto unpublished diary has been uncovered, containing revelations of a short but torrid affair between Liberal MP and gay poster boy Jeremy Thorpe and another young...

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Prostitutes In Pueblo, Colorado Are Reportedly Acceptiing Marijuana In Lieu of Cash

PUEBLO, Colorado - A member of The Pueblo City Council has just informed the public that they've learned that prostitutes working the downtown area of Pueblo have developed a new payment method. It appears that the streetwalkers are now accepting...

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Sex Every Night For Some Couples During Lockdown

It's being suggested, in some circles, that the closure of public places where people gather in numbers, to attempt to prevent the spread of the Coronavirus, is having a positive effect on married couples, some of whom now admit to having sex every n...

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Woman Kicks Man In Gonads

There was a painful end to a short conversation on the London Tube this morning, when a man who had tried to chat up a female fellow passenger received a kick in the gonads for his trouble. John O'Gape was travelling on the Northern Line having bo...

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Doctor Who Star David Tennant To Return To His Porn Film Roots

David Tennant, the star of Doctor Who, is to leave the show and return to the scene where he first made his mark in showbusiness - the Porn Industry. Tennant, who has played the Doctor for three series, was seen injured by a single shot from a Dal...

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Seven day catch up

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Porn Star sex and sexy shows all

In an exclusive interview with Jimmy Astro, Jane Doe, famed gossiper and celebrity basher, shows all by complaining on national television about peoples money problems. Astro asked her if marriage is part of her agenda any time soon. Her reply w...

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Stunning Stat: 5 percent of Americans Virgins on Wedding Day

New York - Statisticians and researchers are scratching their collective heads over this one - as many as five percent of Americans have not had sexual relations prior to their marriage. A visibly shaken President Bush has vowed to work with Congres...

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President Trump May Have Been Given Blow Job By Anne Sacoolas

It's been rumored that, after she was summoned to the White House to meet the parents of a young motorcyclist she had killed in England in August, Anne Sacoolas, the wife of a US intelligence officer, may have given President Donald Trump a blow job.

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Miley Cyrus Vagina Now More Popular Than Britney Spears Vagina

There was great excitement in the entertainment sector today when the results of a nationwide survey revealed that the vagina owned by Miley Cyrus is now more popular than that of Britney Spears. The vaginas, both very similar in design, are curre...

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Last Of The Summer Wine - Howard And Marina Finally Get It On

Last Of The Summer Wine stalwarts, Howard and Marina finally got jiggy with it and got it on together on a wet and windy day in West Yorkshire. The couple have had several dozen attempts at sexual congress but hitherto have always been thwarted by...

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Watermelon is the poor man's Viagra turning your ED Wilbur Willie into Mr. Ed

Washington, DC - Convinced that a man having to suffer ED was just as unbearable and unnecessary as a child having to suffer from ADD, a small group of scientists dedicated themselves to finding a cheaper and equally effective alternative to the chem...

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Harvey Weinstein Fondles Cellmate's Testicles

Harvey Weinstein, the former Hollywood movie producer who, on Monday, was convicted of rape and sexual assault at his trial in New York City, and now faces up to 25 years in jail, has already landed himself in hot water after allegedly fondling the t...

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Vacuum cleaner sex attachment to 'polish' you off

Dyson, the vacuum cleaner manufacturers, have surprised the market by introducing a clip on attachment for sexually deprived men. The accessory fits on to the hose part of the up-right and is said to provide a gentle vibrating 'mouth' for men...

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