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Funny satire stories about Sex

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Theodore McCarrick Hopes There Is No God

Funny story: Theodore McCarrick Hopes There Is No God

The former archbishop of Washington, D.C., who is currently mired in allegations of sexual abuse, has said that he hopes that there is no God, otherwise he is in a shitload of trouble. Theodore McCarrick, now 88, faces charges of sexually abusing...

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New York Woman Finds that Hot Water with Lemon Reduces Her Kinky Sexual Cravings

Funny story: New York Woman Finds that Hot Water with Lemon Reduces Her Kinky Sexual Cravings

Kim Davis, a 32-year-old woman living in New York City, was thrilled to discover that hot water with a squeeze of lemon substantially ameliorated her kinky sexual cravings. "Who knew?" she said. Always sexually adventurous, Kim had been troubl...

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Valentine's Day Cards Withdrawn From Shelves In 'Porn' Row

Funny story: Valentine's Day Cards Withdrawn From Shelves In 'Porn' Row

A series of Valentine's Day cards has had to be removed from the shelves of cardshops all across the country, after there were complaints from customers who said their content was "nothing short of pornographic". Valentine's Day, on February 14, i...

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Yes, Virginia, Santa Claus Has Donned "Blackface"

Funny story: Yes, Virginia, Santa Claus Has Donned "Blackface"

Richmond Va.; It took a government worker for the Department of Motor Vehicles suffering confusion with the line of succession rules in Virginia, to bring national attention to a bizarre statewide descent into madness. A peculiar rash of unsolic...

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Pope Admits Catholic Church Is Now Like Something Out Of A Marquis de Sade Novel

Funny story: Pope Admits Catholic Church Is Now Like Something Out Of A Marquis de Sade Novel

Pope Francis has admitted that there have been "grave errors" in the administration of affairs within the Catholic church down the years, and that, at times, things have resembled erotic scenarios and events such as the public might have read about i...

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London Hospital Denies Offering Sexual Favours from Nurses

Funny story: London Hospital Denies Offering Sexual Favours from Nurses

Staff at a famous London hospital have been dismayed by an internal email which featured a team of beaming young nurses under the headline "Pick up a Twiddle Muff". Ageing hospital administrator, Paxton Quigley, who wished to remain anonymous, to...

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Sexy Woman Knelt Provocatively With Her Legs Wide Open

Funny story: Sexy Woman Knelt Provocatively With Her Legs Wide Open

There were raised eyebrows and a few red faces in a major city center this morning, when a woman knelt provocatively in a shop window with her legs wide open, causing several men to become aroused. The woman was an employee of a well-known lingeri...

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RSPCA Calls for Government Action on Spanking the Monkey

Funny story: RSPCA Calls for Government Action on Spanking the Monkey

"It's a cruel and unnecessary practice, and we need to get a grip on it," said Mr Eric J. Throbbing-Gristle, Chief Inspector of The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. "I am talking about the passion for monkey spanking as exhibit...

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New York Diner Arrested For Sexual Harassment, After Tipping Waitress

Funny story: New York Diner Arrested For Sexual Harassment, After Tipping Waitress

A male diner at a top New York restaurant was in trouble with the police this evening, after handsomely tipping a waitress who had served him. Stephen Douglas, 36, and his business colleague, Bob Mount, 42, had visited the restaurant to talk over...

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London City Gent Arrested For Sexual Harassment, After Tipping His Hat To Woman

Funny story: London City Gent Arrested For Sexual Harassment, After Tipping His Hat To Woman

A city gent in a pin-striped suit and a bowler hat, carrying a walking-stick, has been accused of sexual harassment, after he tipped his hat to a woman in a London street. Thomas Middleton-Markham, 56, of city stockbroker firm Grabbit and Quickly,...

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Joanne and Morgan's Guardian Blind Date Leads to Claim of Sexism

Funny story: Joanne and Morgan's Guardian Blind Date Leads to Claim of Sexism

The participants of The Guardian Weekend’s most recent Blind Date column, Joanne and Morgan, got more than they bargained for after a highly successful evening out propelled the pair into the public eye, and resulted in a claim of sexism by The Guard...

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You Know You're Old...Further Thoughts...

Funny story: You Know You're Old...Further Thoughts...

You know you're old, and maybe an old London git...when... With thanks to Ralph E. Shaffer You know you're old. ...You go out to a late night party, and when you return at 4am, your 20something kids are waiting up for you. ...After the party...

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Monsanto’s First-Ever Genetically Modified Man Proves a Hit with Ladies

Funny story: Monsanto’s First-Ever Genetically Modified Man Proves a Hit with Ladies

The jury is in: Monsanto’s first-ever genetically modified human, who/which was first launched in 2016, and is the only living adult male officially certified to be Roundup-ready, has proven to be a solid hit with the ladies! Monsanto first concei...

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Arabic Porno Magazine Goes On Sale From Today

Funny story: Arabic Porno Magazine Goes On Sale From Today

A 'Men's Magazine', so indecent, that we are unable to print a picture from it, goes on sale in the Persian Gulf from today. Instead, we have provided a picture of another magazine of a similar ilk, which is also geared towards Arabic men. The...

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Man Begrudgingly Went To Xmas Party, But Ended Up Being The Life And Soul Of It

Funny story: Man Begrudgingly Went To Xmas Party, But Ended Up Being The Life And Soul Of It

An office clerk in New York who was not in the right frame of mind to enjoy himself at the firm's annual Christmas party, eventually gave in to the overwhelming pressure of his friends and went along. Ed Reeperbahn, 26, an accountant at Stronk and...

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Party Time as Makers of Viagra, Chapstick and Sensodyne Toothpaste Combine

Funny story: Party Time as Makers of Viagra, Chapstick and Sensodyne Toothpaste Combine

"It's a no-brainer. Who wouldn't want to sell all the ingredients for the after-party? Viagra for that long lasting erection, along with Sensodyne for oral health, and Chapstick to moisten those dry, cracked lips. We also do Panadol for the hangover,...

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Upskirty Stick To Be Removed From Stores

Funny story: Upskirty Stick To Be Removed From Stores

A company that makes smartphone accessories has announced that its 'Upskirty Stick', the newly-designed successor to the 'Selfie Stick', has been pulled from shelves after the government banned the product. O'Sodomy Accessories say the 'Upskirty S...

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Brexit Causing Palace Staffing Crisis

A number of obscure and secretive positions are going vacant at Buckingham Palace, following the flight of European Union citizens and subsequent loss of cheap labour from the "United" Kingdom. Palace management has been forced to open up its recruit...

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