The California State Senate Votes To Keep Trump Off The Presidential Ballot In 2024
SACRAMENTO, California - (Satire News) - After a spirited debate the state senate has voted 291-7 to keep Trump's name off the 2024 presidential election. Sen. Tammy P. Potmeister, 72, [D-Oxnard] perhaps said it best, when she told Boom Boom News…
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Ben and Jerry's Latest Ice Cream Flavor Is Will Smith Evil Blackberry Surprise
FROZEN FIDDLE, Vermont - (Satire News) - The makers of Ben and Jerry Ice Cream have developed over 100 different ice cream names including Tasty Tango Mango Durango, Sweet Caroline Delight, and Thighlicious Daisy Duke Supreme. The ice cream giant…
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California To Ban Everything Made Of Plastic
The State of California is planning on banning all plastic products. Yes, soon, in California, there will be no plastic allowed: no more soda bottles, water bottles, baby bottles, shampoo bottles, pill bottles, plastic silverware, food containers, su…
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The California Forest Fire Report Is In And It Is Un-Effing-Believable
SACRAMENTO – (Satire News)- The California wildfires of the Summer of 2021, were the worst in the history of the state. The California Commission of Wildfires (CCW) stated that they surpassed the 1949 La Brea Tar Pits Fire, the Calexico Fire of 19…
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The In-N-Out Burger Franchise Will Be Changing Its Name
AVOCADO HEIGHTS, California – (Business Satire) – The Left Coast hamburger chain known as In-N-Out has just announced that it is in the process of changing it’s corporate name. The change, according to Mimosa Sabrosa with the Alpha Beta News Agenc…
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California Wildfire Insurance Now Runs An Average of $7,000 a Month!
LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) – LaLaLand Daily reports that due to the thousands of damn wildfires that have hit California, the cost of wildfire insurance has gone up by as much as 817%. Leilani Oahu-Roofy, 43, who is an insurance agent with the Pr…
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The NFL Is Moving The Super Bowl From California To Texas
California’s Most Popular Nude Resort, Rancho Genitalia, Has Been Sold For $37.4 Million
The Donald Fires Miss California
Weather Experts Are Predicting That Hurricane Ida Will Hit Idaho
California Has Just Named The Vibrator As Its Official State Sex Toy
Crystal Defanti Sex Video Saves California From Fiscal Emergency
California Has Decided to Ban Christmas
Dog Arrested for Having Sex with a Man
Christo's Latest Project
Michael Jackson's Neverland For Sale
Ken Jennings Loses On Purpose, Heated Rivalry With Trebek To Blame
Donald Trump Shows How Positively Ignorant He Is As He Now Says That California’s Wild Fires Were Caused By Vicious Fireflies
California Firefighters In An Act of Desperation Are Pouring Strawberry Kool-Aid On The Wildfires
VACAVILLE, California – (Satire News) – Reports being put out by The Alpha Beta News Agency, are that thousands of California firefighters are running out of ideas as to how to fight the damn wildfires that are continuing to relentlessly burn out-of-…
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California To Change Death Valley’s Name
SACRAMENTO, California – (Satire News) – The state of California has decided, after receiving tons and tons of requests, to finally change the name of Death Valley. The California State Department of Naming, has commented that the desert which is…
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Texas Is Sending 900 Bulldozers To Fight The Out-of-Control California Wild Fires
AUSTIN – (Satire News) – The Texas Senate has announced that they have agreed to send 900 fire-fighting bulldozers to help fight the dozens of fast-moving wild fires in the Left Coast state. Senator Harmon K. Finstermund, a Democrat from Nacogdoch…
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Vice-President Kamala Harris Has Just Tagged Marjorie Taylor Greene With a Brand New Nickname That Fits Her Like a Latex Glove
SAUSALITO, California – (Satire News) – The vice-president was in Sausalito at a high school dedication. The citizens of the town of Sausalito, decided to rename Ronald Reagan High School to Kamala Harris High School. Needless to say VP Harris…
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After Her 4th Divorce a 27-Year-Old Woman Says That She Has Finally Found The Love of Her Life
EL SEGUNDO, California – (Satire News) – Rhonda Pellabrew, who is only 27, has already been married four times. She says that ever since she was in high school she just has had an uncontrollable desire to have as much d*ck (peni*) as possible.
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California suspends Stevie Wonder's Drivers License
LAPD Officer Shaun Watson told reporters, "The reason I pulled him over is because he was driving the wrong way down a one way street. On the sidewalk. With his blinkers, headlights and windshield wiper on." Stevie Wonder denies that he ha...
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New legislative controls sought over Governor Newsom's obsession with outer stratosphere emissions
The California governor's concentration on restricting such gasoline-driven devices as leaf blowers to being electricity driven, plus moving on with replacing fossil fuel vehicles with electric, has led on to extensive investigation by the press.
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Marjorie Taylor Greene, Matt Gaetz, and Tucker Carlson Want California To Secede From The Union
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – In the what-the-hell-will-they-think-of-next-category, the three above mentioned trouble-makers are asking that the House of Representatives and the Senate vote to kick California out of the United States. BuzzFu…
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California’s New Tourism Slogan: Please Ignore The Wildfire Smoke – and Enjoy The Avocado Toast
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – The state of California, which has suffered from earthquakes, mudslides, wildfires, bumper-to-bumper traffic, smog, tsunamis, and Trump’s ass-kissing little fairy Scott Baio, has just spent $19.3 million on a new advertisi…
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Robert Pattinson Caught Caressing Ines Sainz 'Caboose' At Knotts Berry Farm
BUENA PARK, California - A local Left Coast newspaper is reporting that Robert Pattinson star of the Twilight vampire series movies and Ines Sainz star sports reporter for Mexico's Azteca TV were recently spotted at the famed Knotts Berry Farm Amusem...
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Residents of Corona, California Want The City’s Name Changed
CORONA, California – A vast majority of the citizens of this quaint California town, where Emperor Hirohito was allegedly born, have asked the mayor and the city council to change the name of the city. One resident, Billy Bobby Millwinkle, said th...
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Food Banks State That They Will No Longer Be Giving Out Beer, Cigarettes, or Sushi
LOS ANGELES – Just since the start of COVID-19 thousands of food banks have sprouted up all over the nation, with California leading the way with 809 (at last count). Some food banks, like the one in La Brea, home of the world-famous Tar Pits, are...
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Motorcycle Surfing Has Become Extremely Popular in California
VENICE BEACH, California – (Satire News) – Surfing enthusiasts are saying that what started out as a surfing fad has caught on and is spreading like a Santa Ana wildfire. Sports Balls Illustrated Daily's Dottie Bazooka spoke with Lazlo Lipatini, w…
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Brad and Jen kidnapped by the cast of Oceans Twelve
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After Michael, Peter Pan under allegations of child molestation
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Mr. Haney Challenges Schwarzenegger in California Governor's Race
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American Idol Voting Reprises California's Prop H8
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California Passes Crap Tax Brick
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Scientists Say West's Dormant Volcanoes May Erupt Without Normal Snow Blanket
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Demi Lovato Confesses That She Has A Big Crush On Rihanna
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How Bill Cosby Escaped From Sing Sing Prison
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Elder: California Recall Election Rigged!
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California Governor Gavin Newsom Easily Wins The Recall – California Will Still Remain The Bluest State in The USA
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Bruce Willis Enraged He Has Yet To Be Punk'd
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Sigourney Weaver Considers Early Man
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Schwarzenegger Wins Oscar for 'Best Actor' for Role as 'The Governor'
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Schwarzenegger Warns Young Athletes Not to Use Steroids
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Los Angeles Animal Services opens cages, shuts doors
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Huge California Fire Erupts after Kids have Fart Lighting Contest
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Sandra Bullock and George Lopez Involved In A Menage-a-Tacos
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Latest NASA Mission - SPERM
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California set to add song and dance routines to aftermath of recall campaign
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Gasoline Hits $13.69 a Gallon In California
