Amber Frey Dating Again!

Written by Morgan Truce

Sunday, 2 January 2005

image for Amber Frey Dating Again!

CALIFORNIA (AP) Between her appearances in court to testify against Scott Peterson, Amber Frey has resumed her active social life and is dating one "very special man". Her last dating experience with Scott Peterson didn't go so well for Amber when she was led to believe that Scott was single. Scott neglected to tell her that he was about to murder his wife, Laci Peterson and their unborn child, mix cement in a fishing boat, and collect on some life insurance policies.

At a lunch place near the courthouse, Amber Frey told reporters, "Now I know I made a mistake when I dated Scott Peterson, but how in the world was I supposed to know he was married? He didn't have a ring on his finger. That's how I always can tell if a man is married or single."

"Amber, do you have any plans to date other men any time soon?" asked Spoof reporter Morgan Truce.

Breaking into a big smile, Amber Frey said, "Well, I wasn't going to tell anyone, but I've been seeing this really sweet guy for the past week. He told me how much he loves me and even bought me some flowers!"

"What's his name Amber… who is he?" shouted several reporters.

"I'm really not supposed to tell… he's a bit older and very smart, you know. He seems to be very up to date on all that newspaper stuff and, uh, current events. He treats me MUCH nicer than Scott ever did----and he gets along just fine with my daughter. And I KNOW for sure that he's single, because I came right out and asked him!"

Chorus of reporters: "Come on Amber, you can tell us… who are you dating now?"

"Well, I don't see any harm in telling… I just can't keep it a secret any more because I really love this fella so much. His name is Bill Clinton. He lives in New York, but he's flown out here a few times so we could be together. He always comes with a group of men who stand around, but I'm used to that. He promised me that he would bring me some champagne tonight. I think I'm going to buy him a box of his favorite cigars." Do you think he'd like that as a gift?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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