Republicans Are Leaving California By The Tens of Thousands

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 18 March 2023

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"Good riddance to the Trumptards!" -ROBERT DENIRO

LOS ANGELES - (Satire News) - Hold on to your MAGA hats, folks, because the GOP party in California is experiencing a mass exodus. That's right, tens of thousands of Republicans are packing up and leaving the state faster than you can say "Make America Great Again."

According to The Los Angeles Post-Gazette, it's not because of the earthquakes, wildfires, or even the pungent smell of botox cream. No, these Republicans are fleeing because they're afraid of being physically attacked, molested, or even thrown naked into the La Brea Tar Pits. We can't blame them, those tar pits are no joke.

And it's not just any Republicans leaving, it's the ones who supported the tiny-fingered pussy grabber himself, Donald Trump. Apparently, they feel safer in red states like Alabama, Mississippi, and West Virginia (because who wouldn't feel safe in a state with "West" in the name, am I right?).

But let's not forget about the real victim here: Scott Baio. Yes, the former heartthrob and "has-been" Republican asshole has been left behind in the Golden State, wondering where all his fans have gone. Maybe he can find solace in the billions of rabid woodpeckers that apparently roam the state.

In any case, we wish these fleeing Republicans all the best in their new homes. Just remember, if you hear banjo music in the distance, it's probably not a good sign.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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