(Sacremento CA) Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a law today to immediately ban breathing in California. The ban would prevent the exhalation of 25 tons of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere each year by human beings and help stop global warming.
"This law vill signal to the vorld that California is doing its part to stop global warming." said the red faced governor in a morning press conference. "Gotta keep this real short because this is literally my last breath on earth." gasped a blue faced Schwarzenegger and he then collapsed.
The law was very popular according to a random polling. "This law will save millions of polar bears from drowning so it's worth a little discomfort. I wish everyone in the world would stop breathing their poisonous gases into the air. Most people are just useless eaters and breathers anyway." wheezed Nancy Pelosi
Within ten minutes all Californians were dead from respiratory failure. The world was safe now for baby polar bears and ice bergs.
