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Governor Moonbeam "Offended" (Again)

SACKRAHMINTO, CALIFORNICATE — The not-so-great state of Californicate banned its residents from traveling to Oklahoma because officials do not approve of the OK State's allegedly discriminatory law against LesbianGayBisexualTransgenderQuestioning (LG...

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No News Is Good News

FRESNO, CALIFORNICATE — When officials refused to allow “The Star-Spangled Banner” to be sung at the championship match between the football teams of George Washington High School and Thomas Jefferson Preparatory School, played in Fresno State Univer...

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Oakland Mayor Libby Schaaf Warns California About Imminent Trump Arrival

Funny story: Oakland Mayor Libby Schaaf Warns California About Imminent Trump Arrival

Oakland, CA. Mayor of Oakland California Libby Schaaf, who was earlier criticised by Trump for warning immigrants that the feds were going to conduct raids, now is warning California,that Trump is coming. California is one of the many states that des...

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CNN and Lawmakers: "We Should Ban all Cars;" We Need to do This!

Funny story: CNN and Lawmakers: "We Should Ban all Cars;" We Need to do This!

According to CNN, "auto accidents kill too many, we need to ban cars and guns..." After another tragic shooting in our nation, CNN and others are pushing to ban all guns. A talk on gun control between two high school students after the fact was ca...

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Charter School Conglomerate to run Bankrupt City

Reliable but unnamed sources at the California state capital insist that AB 46, Assembly Speaker Anthony Rendon's bill to disincorporate the nearly bankrupt industrial city of Vernon, contains a secret clause. According to a highly placed aide in the Speaker's office, interviewed under an assurance of anonymity, the final version of the bill will turn Vernon over to Green Dot, the charter school o...

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Comedian Jon Crapola craps out

HERMOSA BEACH, CA -- Two years ago, John Crapola, who claims to be a "stand-up comedian, if not a stand-up guy," bored his tiny audience in a nearly empty "comedy club" in Hermosa Beach, California. When he started talking about his penis, ladies nea...

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California Offers "You're Fired!" Voting Method

Funny story: California Offers "You're Fired!" Voting Method

Sacramento, Calif - The California State Assembly approved a controversial new voting system late Monday night, now known as the "You're Fired!" voting method. "It's so easy and convenient," explained Democratic Chairperson Amy Thumbsdown. "You c...

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Austin To Secede From Texas, Join California

Funny story: Austin To Secede From Texas, Join California

The blog site "Rest-of-Texas-sucks. Com," an Austin based site, sneeringly refers to the remainder of Texas outside Austin as "A land of big oil, big business, big cars, big men with big mouths, big guns, big bigoted morons, and big-haired women who...

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California To Ban All Displays Of U.S. Flag

Funny story: California To Ban All Displays Of U.S. Flag

After a principal quelled violence at a high school Cinco de Mayo celebration by banning the U.S. flag, The State of California will ban Old Glory for good. California Senate Majority Leader Bill Monning(D) is pointing to the success of the high s...

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California EPA Endorses Beer Pee

Due to the ongoing water crisis in California, CalEPA has taken an unusual step in promoting the recycling of beer pee. They claim that the liquid may be classified as potable if certain conditions are met. They note that by the time three or more...

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Recycled Waste Water Solves Drought Problem

California Governor Jerry Brown ended the state of emergency conditions caused by the long drought that has ravaged the Golden State for years. Mr. Brown took credit for assembling a team of top tier scientists from Stanford and Berkeley who develope...

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New Mental Disorder: "California Drought Syndrome"

Funny story: New Mental Disorder: "California Drought Syndrome"

American Psychoanalysis Online Spring, 2015 by Giacomo Puccini, Contributing Editor Last week, for the first time in the state's history, Golden State's Gov. Jerry Brown imposed mandatory water restrictions, requiring all cities and towns to cut their water usage by 25 percent. The action was taken because California's reservoirs have about a year's worth of water left. Too, Groundwate...

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Californians Sick Of Producing Nation's Almonds

Funny story: Californians Sick Of Producing Nation's Almonds

Los Alamos, New Mexico - Known as the desert home of the nuclear bomb, Los Alamos, New Mexico has become a kind of refuge for Californians sick of working in the Almond industry. "It's not an industry," said a self-descirbed "almond refugee" who a...

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California Governor Signs 'Gay Freedom' Clarification Bill

Funny story: California Governor Signs 'Gay Freedom' Clarification Bill

SACRAMENTO, CA - California Governor Jerry Brown today signed a bill clarifying his state's controversial "gay freedom" laws, which critics said gave business owners a legal defense to discriminate against heterosexuals. A "fix" to California's la...

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Dangerous Animals And Situations In The Grand Canyon And How To Deal With Them

Funny story: Dangerous Animals And Situations In The Grand Canyon And How To Deal With Them

What to do in the Grand Canyon if: you are confronted by a black bear- Calmly stand your ground and fight back. Do not run as they will chase you. a rock slide occurs above you- Quickly try to determine where the rock slide is coming down and run horizontally in the opposite direction. you are walking along the street and a car with California rental license plates is coming towards you...

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California Gay Advocacy Group Proposes Ballot Initiative to Allow Killing of Straights

Funny story: California Gay Advocacy Group Proposes Ballot Initiative to Allow Killing of Straights

SACRAMENTO, CA - In response to a measure to allow killing of gays in California, Nigel Reynolds, attorney for the California gay rights group, "Gay Advocacy Group" (GAG), has filed a petition with the California Attorney General, Kamala Harris, to a...

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California weasels outbreak linked to the Philippines

Funny story: California weasels outbreak linked to the Philippines

Los Angeles - Thousands of people have been left sickened following an outbreak of weasels at a Disneyland resort. Doctors treating the ugly pandemic say a virus strain from the Philippines is a damn good scapegoat considering the dearth of other...

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Beauty pageant contestant "in it to win it"

Funny story: Beauty pageant contestant "in it to win it"

In an ill-advised attempt to win the Ms. Californicate Beauty Contest, Chanelle Bigguns whipped off her bikini top, flashing the judges with not one, but (count 'em!) both, of her beautiful, bouncing boobs. She claimed that her tactic was "a wardr...

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Breaking news…

Bill Cosby Contacts Kim Kardashian to See if She Can Get Him Pardoned

Kim told Cosby he would have to get in line behind Robert Mueller, Suge Knight, and Jared Folger.
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