California To Ban Everything Made Of Plastic

Funny story written by Andrew Lawrence

Sunday, 2 January 2022

image for California To Ban Everything Made Of Plastic

The State of California is planning on banning all plastic products. Yes, soon, in California, there will be no plastic allowed: no more soda bottles, water bottles, baby bottles, shampoo bottles, pill bottles, plastic silverware, food containers, sunglasses, credit cards and children's toys, not to mention computers and cell phones.

Everything that contains plastic will be banned in California.

The No Plastic Law is the brainchild of the California Wacky Environmental Protest Agency (WE Protest). WE Protest is known to cater to about 100,000 environmental extremists in California, at the expense of the other 43 million California residents.

Why does California want to ban plastic? California environmental lobbyist and WE Protest spokeswoman, Ima Nutter, states, "Plastic is not a material found in nature. It's man-made. And everything man-made is bad - and must be banned".

If plastic is banned in California then what will things be made of? Wood? Hemp? Recycled sewage? No one knows. State officials admit they haven't given it any thought. A senior state government official, who earns a salary of $800 thousand a year (plus benefits), says, "We're too busy passing laws to think about the consequences of the laws we pass."

The "No Plastic" Law is expected to go into effect soon. When it does it is estimated that tens of millions of sane Californians will flee the state, taking billions of dollars and millions of jobs with them. In response, the Democratically-dominated liberal progressive California legislators released the following statement: "Let 'em go, we don't care. We're gonna have a "No Plastic" California, that's the most important thing."

With this "ban all plastics" ban, clueless progressive California politicians will take the lead in making the state the most environmentally friendly state in America. And the most uninhabitable.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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