New legislative controls sought over Governor Newsom's obsession with outer stratosphere emissions

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Thursday, 6 January 2022

image for New legislative controls sought over Governor Newsom's obsession with outer stratosphere emissions
"All I can say is that in our contract with Jersey Maid we were promised we would not be held responsible."

The California governor's concentration on restricting such gasoline-driven devices as leaf blowers to being electricity driven, plus moving on with replacing fossil fuel vehicles with electric, has led on to extensive investigation by the press.

Why is the governor so obsessed with the problem of atmospheric pollution, and is there any possibility his behavior is influenced by other factors, even personal factors?

The methane consideration has to enter study here, and the question of whether politicians as a class are susceptible in themselves to releasing unusually high amounts of methane into the stratosphere.

In which case, psychologists theorize, responses to attempt to control methane emissions in various ways—other than via politicians, and by these politicians—leads to the unfortunate vilification of cows, for example.

How to measure emissions in this case is a major challenge to evaluative mechanisms, with clues to the problem suggested by excessive nose-holding in legislative chambers and the governor's mansion.

In consequence, some legislators (who remain anonymous and are apparently of a rare breed among them, driven by conscience) are seeking ways to measure and pinpoint responsibility for these odious possibilities.

“What must remain a distinct possibility, influencing the electricity replacement policies,” one of them has said, “must include the rate and amount of emissions from the governor's own ass, if I may put it bluntly.”

The governor's office has responded that avoidance of flatulence-causing foods is at high priority at the capitol, which might suggest the problem has been under study for some time, and a serious factor needing consideration.

Moreover, the possibility of politicians inflating problems to draw attention from their own contribution to what's going on could also apply to other problems currently experienced, such as over-reaction to various diseases.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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