The Kremlin Divulges That 91% of All of Russia's Citizens Want Putin To Withdraw From Ukraine
MOSCOW - ((Satire News) - America's Grandiose News Agency has issued a statement stating that The Kremlin Voice has declared that 91% of all Russian residents are sick of their country getting their ass kicked by Ukraine and her allies. GNA report…
Read full storyLiz Hurley Reveals Her Secret Fetish - Gourmet Sex
PICCADILLY, England - (Satire News) - One of the most attractive actresses on Earth, Liz Hurley was in Piccadilly getting an estimate on a labia majora tightening procedure. Hurley, who is 57, but has the stunningly sexy body of a 27-year-old, rec…
Read full storyBored Bill, the NFT “Artist”
Bill Gates is just getting richer! He has finally figured out how to draw his own face (or pay someone to do it for him) so that he too can join the cyber art world and create his first NFT! You will soon be able to bid on NFTs of Bill dressed…
Read full storyThe Men In White Outfits Have Finally Taken The Bat Shit Crazy Asshole Alex Jones To The Loony Farm
NEW YORK CITY - (US Satire) - Well finally, all of America can now rest, as the punk, who has become the biggest, stress-filled, hate-spewing bastard in America has been taken into custody. Alex Betty Jones, administrator of Info Wars, and a fella…
Read full storyWW3 Halloween or April Fool?
Putin hasn’t really given a timeline on when he wants to start World War 3, but a Moscow insider has given a hint. “What is scariest time of year? Time when people think things are scary but they know no really cuz it’s holiday? Yes, my friend, is…
Read full storyHalloween Costume Warning!!!
A warning has been issued concerning this coming Halloween in the USA. In certain states (Florida and Texas being the two most named), there are certain Halloween costumes that will not necessarily put candy into your child’s bag. In fact, they co…
Read full storyDanica Patrick Has a Horrible Wreck In NASCAR's Rebel Yell 400 Race
MOBILE, Alabama - (Sports Satire) - The Princess of NASCAR, Danica Patrick was three laps from finishing the very popular "Rebel Yell 400," in Mobile, when she got fendered by new driver Oliver "The Plowboy" Greedygood. According to Pia Confetti w…
Read full storyComing soon - the Steve Bannon Halloween Mask
Coming soon (to help pay for his lawyer’s fees) is the new Steve Bannon Halloween mask! Have you ever looked at Bannon and said, “Oh God, noooooooo! Hell hath been unleashed!” Ha ha, well now you can scare all your friends and their kids by don…
Read full storyAccording To The BBC Prime Minister Liz Truss Plans To Visit Ukraine
LONDON - (UK Satire) - The senior writer for the BBC Tyrus Bottomfiddle has just announced that the new British prime minister has stated that she will be visiting President Volodymyr Zelenskyy in the Ukrainian capital city of Kyiv. PM Truss wants…
Read full storyRussian Halloween
Hello. Welcome to Russia. Is Halloween. Let us go to first house. Hello, give me. Okay, what we have this house? Bullets. Yes, very good, Russian like to give and receive many bullets for the children. Next house. Hello, give me. Okay, this is…
Read full storyCheryl Cole Flashes Her Tits On "The Ricky Gervais Happy Hour Talk Show"
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - Cheryl Cole took some time out from her busy schedule to fly to America and make an appearance on "The Ricky Gervais Happy Hour Talk Show." The two go back to their days when both were struggling to break into the Briti…
Read full storyGoing For The Bloody Gold
Mass shooting is set to become the latest international sporting event! America is the strong favourite to win, of course, but the Russians, Israelis, (well, everyone in a Middle Eastern country), and a cocaine cartel from Mexico are also strong c…
Read full storyMigrant-Nado! - Hit movie franchise or humanitarian travesty?
(Sharknado was just a movie, just a movie, just a movie …) The recent hurricane that hit Florida has done more damage than most media outlets are ready or willing to report. Strange things … unbelievable if it wasn’t for the damage done. As Hur…
Read full storyUkraine Releases Thousands of Bomb Drone Birds Over Moscow
MOSCOW - (Satire News) - In an effort to stop the invading Russian horde, Ukraine has released thousands and thousands of bomb drone birds all over the Russian capital of Moscow. Ukrainian President Zelenskyy states that the birds are capable of i…
Read full storyNo Checks, No Balances, Just Gin and Tomic
As Ginny Thomas walked with her lawyers down a hall of echoes, a lone journalist asked her about being a fucktard, and Ginny kept the fake smile plastered to her face and said, “Thank you for your question.” Is she on dope? Doctor prescribed littl…
Read full storyHurricane Joe totally ravages Florida
Another hurricane hit Florida, and Republicans are blaming Joe Biden. Joe has been blamed for the “loss” of Afghanistan, even though Republicans forget that one of their own (George and Dick and Condoleezza and Donald – Rumsfeld, not the current d…
Read full storyThe Mothers of Prevention
American Mothers for the Prevention of Everything Non-Christian (or "Moms for Liberty") have stated that they will be boycotting Halloween this year since it is a pagan holiday where devil worshippers lure unsuspecting virgins with candy and take the…
Read full storyEllen DeGeneres Says The GOP Supreme Court Made Her Terminate Her Daily Talk Show
WEST HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres reporter Tahiti Zeppelin recently sat down with the lesbionic talk show host at a local Jack-in-The-Box. DeGeneres, who is married to a fellow female, and a hot, sexy, much younger one at t…
Read full storyFlorida’s Governor Sassafras Was Busy Trafficking Immigrants
Sassafras failed. He didn't have his eye on the ball. While Hurricane Ian was approaching Florida, and meteorologists were warning of the hurricane's growing threat, Sassafras was busy flying desperate, frightened, homeless immigrants, who were escap…
Read full storyFeminine Jihad
The strict Muslim countries might show the world. (Holy irony, batman!) Women in Iran are sick and tired and bringing the pain to the men who rule them with an iron boot heel. Some women in Afghanistan must have seen their Iranian counterparts and…
Read full storyViking Pillage of the Royal Cribbage
Margrethe II, (the sequel), Queen of Denmark is setting a dangerous precedent. She has formed a conscience and has told her kids and grandkids “You ain’t nobody special.” Stripping them of their titles and all the potential accolades and gifts and pa…
Read full storyOld Hat Marjorie
Now that Marjorie Taylor Greene (would you like to buy another name? the more names a person has, the more insecure they are about their own identity … discuss) will soon be divorced, she’s ripe and ready! She called up her best bud, Lauren Boeber…
Read full storySelling England By The Pound
The pound is down. Down is the pound. Truss is nowhere is to be found. Gone underground? Is her mind sound? Is she selling off all her gowns? Is she petting Boris’ belly, so round? Does Truss still mean bound? Is Britain’s…
Read full storyWhere You At, Xi?
And welcome to the latest game show: Where You At, Xi? Contestants have to use whatever is available to find out whether or not the dictator of China, Xi, is still in power! They can use Twitter and all its rumors and hopes and dreams that a sc…
Read full storyItaly Will NOT Be Ignored
(Didn’t Glenn Close say that to Michael Douglas? How’d that move turn out? Happy ending? A crazy blonde lady getting payback … meanwhile, in Italy, there’s a crazy blonde lady who …) Italy created the Roman Empire. All those emperors – Caligula, N…
Read full storyThe Further Adventures of King Chuck and His Boy, Willy the Peg
King Chuck was out fishing for crawdads with his son, Willy, who said, “Pa, did mama ever peg you?” “She done tried, son, once, but I put a stop to it. I got a feeling she pegged that Dody fella. Still don’t explain how she got knocked up by hi…
Read full storyKamala … Hot & Dumb
Kamala Harris thinks she knows where North Korea is. She’s the hottest VP I’ve ever seen. But good looks and brains don’t always go together. In fact, they rarely do! Then again, ugly people can be pretty damn dumb too. (Charles, Camilla, Donald,…
Read full storyThe Pillow Douche
The pillow guy hired Alan Douce-owitz (don’t care if that’s not how you spell it … I just don’t care) as his lawyer. Let’s unpack: First, the pillow guy is gonna always be known now as the pillow guy. That’s what he gets for opening his mouth a…
Read full storyPutin to Save the Day While Losing His Shirt
Boy, when Putin fails, he fails hard! Russian men are being snatched and grabbed the streets by Putin’s KGB and thrown into the army – now that’s allegiance and patriotism! (Is Russia like the USA during the Vietnam War right now? Write a theses a…
Read full storyMidge is Ready 4 Love
Guys and (maybe) gals, get ready for love! (A Clockwork Orange?) Put on your best suit and/or dress (OK, who are we kidding? She won’t openly go gay, so, ladies, bark up another tree.) Marjorie Taylor Greene is soon coming on the meat market, and…
Read full storyAbbot’s Vanishing Act
Since Greg Abbott is allergic to people, so much so that he won’t invite them to a debate between himself and Beto O’Rourke, not even the parents of the murdered children of Uvalde, Greg will now be ruling in complete secrecy. After the debate, he…
Read full storyBeards or Syphilis: Which Creates A Better Crazy?
Scientists at the Institute for Beard Sciences have found a bizarre new discovery about the Chechen beard. Apparently, when a Chechen wears a beard, the strands of hair soak intelligence from the man’s brain in order to make the hair thicker and toug…
Read full storyLiz Truss's Career Advisor can only apologise
Hello, I have to apologise to all of you. Everyone, not just you now, but all of your children, and their children's children. You don't know me, you will never have heard of me, but I was Liz Truss's Careers Advisor. Yes, when she was 16, she…
Read full storyCheryl Cole Buys Mick Jagger's Luxurious Mansion In St. John's Wood
WESTMINSTER, England - (UK Satire) - Songstress Cheryl Cole has purchased Villa Tambourine Mansion, which for many years was the 7,003 sq. ft. palatial home of Rolling Stones lead singer Mick Jagger. Tammy Blimeyweather, with The Brit Music Scene…
Read full storyMan who fears being cancelled, not that important anyway
A comedian fears that in the current climate he will be cancelled for his slightly off-colour views, even though his biggest claim to fame was being a support act to Josh Widdicombe 8 years ago. 'You can't say anything these days without that woke…
Read full storyLiz Truss's Dream is Everyone Else's Nightmare
As Liz Truss gets stuck into her dream job as Prime Minister, everyone else is waking up to their own worst nightmare. Wayne Hemingway said 'It is so bad, I wake up in my bed, and think of the Halycon days of Boris Johnson'. Tracy Brassingthwai…
Read full storyLiz Truss watching Blackadder for Ideas
British Prime Minister Liz Truss (at the time of writing) has admitted that she has been watching the TV comedy Blackadder for ideas. 'Yes...' said Truss 'I have always felt something of a kinship with Baldrick. I know he is meant to be the idiot…
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth Leaves Her Beloved Pet Sardine To King Charles III
LONDON - (Satire News) - Buckingham Palace spokesman Nigel Foote, noted that her majesty, Queen Elizabeth bequeathed her favorite pet, a sardine named "Fishy" to her son, King Charles III. Foote recalls how much the queen loved "Fishy," who had be…
Read full storyPresident Putin Says Elections Were Held And The People of Nepal, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, and Cambodia Are Now Part of Russia
MOSCOW - (Satire News) - The Kremlin Voice has written that President Putin now has a brand new title, and that is "Real Estate Agent." Putin held mock elections in which the people of the four above mentioned countries cast mock votes in a mock e…
Read full story