Mass shooting is set to become the latest international sporting event!
America is the strong favourite to win, of course, but the Russians, Israelis, (well, everyone in a Middle Eastern country), and a cocaine cartel from Mexico are also strong contenders.
The mass shooting event will have standard target shooting, shooting a moving target, running through a maze to catch anyone escaping, and of course, playing right-wing politician and saying “The victims and their families are in our hearts and minds and prayers and other stuff.” This final leg of the event will depend on how effective the killer can phrase bullshit and make the judges kinda believe that they’re sincere.
Those who will be chosen to “play” the victims will be hand-picked from minorities around the world who have no power, no voice, and no nation to belong to (and, thus, cannot compete in international events at all – except for this event!)
Hello, Palestine! Hello, Uyghur people in Chinese concentration camps! Hello, Tibet! (Hello, Taiwan and Ukraine? Not yet, they’re still holding their own.) Wanna be a part of all the fun? Sign up now and maybe your corpses will be heaped into an Olympic mass grave! There are several still to be found in many countries. You can be a part of history … as soon as a future archaeologist finds you.
Go for the bloody gold!
