The Pillow Douche

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Saturday, 1 October 2022

image for The Pillow Douche
Will the Real Pillow Douche Please Fuck Off?

The pillow guy hired Alan Douce-owitz (don’t care if that’s not how you spell it … I just don’t care) as his lawyer.

Let’s unpack:

First, the pillow guy is gonna always be known now as the pillow guy. That’s what he gets for opening his mouth and backing the wrong horse.

Second, Alan is up on charges of sexually harassing someone, ain’t he? When your lawyer needs a lawyer … is that a red flag? Alan was on Epstein’s airplane. Period. Cancel?

Are those who are cancelled or about to be cancelled so stupid that they hire the almost-cancelled so they don’t get completely cancelled? (i.e. prison.) Is their brain cancelled or just their egos? Or their libido? Was the pillow guy on the Lolita express, handing out … pillows? I better not start rumors. That’s Republican territory.

My neck is killing me. I need a pillow. But I want it delivered by the pillow guy personally. Doesn’t his hair and moustache look fake? I wanna see that man up close to see if he’s real.

I bet his pillows aren’t real either. Probably filled with straw from Melania’s box.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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