And welcome to the latest game show: Where You At, Xi?
Contestants have to use whatever is available to find out whether or not the dictator of China, Xi, is still in power!
They can use Twitter and all its rumors and hopes and dreams that a scumbag has been replaced by another scumbag, or they can roll the dice and try to guess what is China up to now?
Is Xi under house arrest? Ask the military dictatorship in Myanmar, since they’re really good at keeping people under years of house arrest for doing nothing but calling a dick a dick. And that cuntry [oops, but so true – ed.] has been run into the ground by its military, so there could still be hope for China.
Is Xi dead? Winnie the Pooh, where’d you go? Is he hiding in a tree where there’s hunney, and got stuck and now the military are trying to wedge his fat ass out of the hole?
Did Xi have a heart attack? He’s getting on in years, and even Satan can’t keep a dictator from a fatty heart or high cholesterol. Are his doctors working around the clock to either keep him alive or freeze him like Walt Disney, in the hopes of bringing him back to life to ruin a future world?
Is Xi in North Korea – and is this the real reason for Kamala Harris to have her tongue make a Freudian slip? (She’s new at her job and doesn’t quite know how to keep all the secrets, just some of them.) Are Un and Xi a couple? (Won’t that make a lovely Christmas card? 2 dicks enjoying each other’s thick ugly Christmas sweaters, rubbing each other’s bellies … do they have Christmas in Asia?)
Is Xi entombed with the clay warriors only to be ‘discovered’ in a thousand years as an artifact?
So many people want to know what’s going on in China, but China ain’t telling. You think you can win this game? Roll the dice to determine China’s future. That’s what they’re doing.
