Hello. Welcome to Russia. Is Halloween. Let us go to first house.
Hello, give me. Okay, what we have this house? Bullets. Yes, very good, Russian like to give and receive many bullets for the children. Next house.
Hello, give me. Okay, this is good too. Vodka. Many vodka for children, but sometimes parents steal children’s bottles, which they try to hide under bed or in crumbling walls. All walls in Russia crumbling. Nowhere to hide. Russian children learn early how to steal from parents, from other children, from Putin, whoever. Next house.
You. Give me. Ah, this very good house. Plutonium. Can kill many enemies. Don’t get near groin, or face, or anywhere. Drop in enemy’s soup or baklava or samovar. Kill quick and easy and no one know it you. Next house.
Give me now. Ah, nice. AK-47, fully loaded. What Russian child does not already have one? But more guns are good. Soon will go to Ukraine to fight glorious war of Putin Regime. This good house. Next.
Give me now, decadent pig-dog. What is this? Copy of “1984” by British liberal scumbag? Written half about Nazi, half about Russia. Piece of shit. Burn it. This bad house, no go here next time.
Okay, all rest of houses will not open door for fear they will be forced into military by Putin KGB. So that’s it. Welcome to Russia Halloween.
No candy.
