A Man In Maine Is Named The Biggest Hermit In The United States
SOMEWHERE IN MAINE - (Satire News) - The Vox Populi News Agency has just named a retired molasses salesman, who resides in Maine, the nation's number one hermit. The 91-year-old man named Tobias Wickenweiser, has lived by himself in the middle of…
Read full storyAfter Fighting The Russians In Ukraine, PM Johnson Is Bringing The 707th Regiment Back To England To A Hero's Welcome
LONDON - (Satire News) - England's PM Boris Johnson told Parliament that he is thrilled and honored to announce that after over a month of the 707th Queen's Elite Infantry Regiment fighting in Ukraine against Putin's invading horde, the brave Brit tr…
Read full storyMichelle Obama Hints That She May Run For Governor of Illinois
CHICAGO - (Satire News) - Michelle Obama appeared on The Jimmy Kimmel Show and she hinted that she is seriously thinking about running for governor of Illinois. She said that looking at a poll taken by the highly reputable QuinniPinni Poll Agency,…
Read full storyThe Two Bolivian Astronauts Are Ready To Fly To Mars
BOLIVAR, Bolivia - (Satire News) - The Bolivian Space Department of Intergalactic Exploration (BSDIE) has just informed the citizens of Bolivia that their two astronauts are ready to be shot up into the solar system and head toward Mars. The two s…
Read full storyHave A Slash for Freedom!
Boris Johnson has sent out a plea to all men, women and children (and even some canines) of Britain to go to the pub and “have a slash”. To those from other countries, this means to expel urine through your urethra. Piss. The reason why Boris i…
Read full storyLiz Cheney is a Vampire!
For heading the committee investigating the January 6th rebellion orchestrated by Generalissimo Donald Trump, Liz Cheney may have to turn Democrat. Her home state of Wymoing ain’t liking her too good and may wanna run her outa town on a rail, jest li…
Read full storyThe Earth is A Living Brain!
This just in, breaking science news – researchers at MIT have discovered that the planet Earth is a living brain! One slight difference to people’s brains – the two hemispheres are not located left and right, but top and bottom! Research went o…
Read full storyRon DeSantis and the CIA Might Be Feeling Itchy
Gustavo Petro, the leftist ex-rebel fighter with the M-19 guerrilla movement, won Colombia’s presidential election on Sunday. Ron DeSantis isn’t happy about the election, so everyone should take notice! When a Florida governor cares about the pres…
Read full storyRudy’s Bullshit List
Rudy Giuliani has stated: “We’ve got lots of theories, but we just don’t have the evidence.” This was in reference to voter fraud allegations he and Trump made. Other bullshit: “We got lots of hookers, but no blow.” “We got lots of Alamos,…
Read full story2020 Election Voter Fraud Evidence Has Been Uncovered
I think I need to sit down! I have been doing my own research and have been in touch with some friends from the “Red Side” of the political spectrum. I have always firmly believed that there was no voter fraud. But after talking to someone who was…
Read full storyOur Ancestors Learned to Walk Upright By Playing In Water
Millions of years ago, our pre-pre-pre-pre ancestors, walked like apes - all except in Ethiopia. There something unique happened. There was Global Warming, and the Indian ocean came in, and surrounded parts of Ethiopia and made a big island. Our…
Read full storyBig Fight At A Jane Austen Beer Bash Festival In Wapping
The guy who wrote the Jane Austen Vampire and Zombie novels - a highly ethical person - got incensed and in a fight with the Asian guy who just did the Gay Jane Austen Movie-set in Fire Island NY. Being in costume, they threw walking sticks at e…
Read full storySupreme Court - All School To Be Religious Schools - Public Safety Reasons
The Court, near the end of its term, ruled in a Southern Governors' case that all schools had to be religious schools. "Public schools are inherently too dangerous for children, now and in the future-so for Public Safety Reasons, all states must…
Read full storyTrump's Former Attorney General Bill Barr Says There's Now Enough Evidence To Put Him In Prison For 80 Years
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Former Attorney General Bill Barr, who has more brains in his little finger that the evil Trumptard has in his entire 313-pound fat ass body, has just made a very astute statement. Bill Barr, who said that Trump thi…
Read full storyHey Ladies Get Rid of Darker Skin Tone - Look Whiter - Use Our Potash Product
Hey all you dark skinned lovelies-in India and other places-you too can look whiter with our Potash based products. Sure, there might be life-long skin damage, but it will be worth it. Be a Whiter You! But why do you want to be White? In the…
Read full storyGlobal Warming Is Really Caused by Overpopulation - Oral Sex Is The Solution
Overpopulation is killing the Earth. Ecologically the Earth can only support 2 billion-doing no harm to the Earth. And we are heading toward 10 billion people. Birth control is basically banned by all religions. A quick, easy fix-not though…
Read full storyLocal Man Loses Will To Live
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock today emerged from a ten year alcohol induced state of inertia in order to announce to a completely disinterested and uncaring world that he has finally lost the will to live. After working night shifts throughout the…
Read full storyTrump's Never Ending, Boring, Sour, Hate-Filled Trash Talking Has Gotten Very Old, Even Older Than Him
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Two New Yorkers who both agree that Donald Trump's incessant, never-ending trash talking has gotten to the point of sheer boredom are Rudy Giuliani and Michael Cohen. Both men once held Trump in high esteem. Today,…
Read full storyMelania Trump Confesses She Hasn't Allowed Donaldo To Touch Her Body In 14 Months
MAR-A-LAGO - (Satire News) - The word from employees inside the Trumptard's Mar-a-Lago compound is that Mrs. Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump is one upset, bitter, frustrated Slovenia woman. One employee, who reportedly has worked for the Trumps for…
Read full storyElon Musk Develops A New Super Powerful Rocket He Is Calling The El Magnetico 7,000
LAS VEGAS - (Satire News) - One of the world's richest (and most arrogant gazillionaires) was in "Sin City" playing Black Jack, his favorite card game. While he gambled he smoked Marlboro Red Cigarettes and drank Johnny and Coke (Johnny Walker Bla…
Read full storyFake Election King John Eastman
The name John Eastman bounced around during Trump’s attempts to remain in the White House even though Trump lost the 2020 election. Mr. Eastman was one of Trump’s many attorneys, and Eastman created a scheme for Donald to remain in office that looked…
Read full storyCarlos Danger: The Life And Times Of A Prevert
BILLINGSGATE POST: It’s been awhile since Carlos Danger, also known as Anthony Weiner, has been front page news in the tabloids and cable news. For a time, it was too hard for Weiner to stop sending pictures of his penis to girls he met on the…
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