Preppers Speak Out Against Communism
OCALA, FL – Jeffery Sploomputter, director of Platitude Ranch, the self-proclaimed third-largest prepper community in Marion County, FL, granted a rare interview to our own Ernest Funtz this past Saturday, providing insights into the mindset of their…
Read full storyJeff Bezos to Monetize Employee Souls
SEATTLE, WA – Amazon's board of directors this week approved a Bezos-backed plan to modify Amazon.com's employee labor contracts worldwide to enforce the mandatory creation of one NFT per employee, representing the employee's immortal soul. Amazo…
Read full storyState of Texas Passes Legislation 'Openly Mocking' States with Electric Cooperatives
AUSTIN, TX – Texas Governor Greg Abbott today signed legislation into law obligating all Texas residents and elected officials to publicly and openly 'mock' people from other states whenever they mention any of the perceived benefits related to natur…
Read full storyHabitat For Humanity to Build Sex Dungeons for Low-Income Doms
ATLANTA, GA – Habitat for Humanity's newly appointed CEO, Dr. Beedie Essem, announced yesterday that the global nonprofit was planning to begin a trial program adding sex dungeons to the basements of the low-income homes of poverty-stricken doms in s…
Read full storyThe Latest Rage In California Is Peruvian Marching Dust Smoothies
SAUSALITO, California - (Satire News) - The California Center For The Latest Drugs (CCFTLD), has just made the American citizens aware that the latest drug concoction to come out of secret California drug labs is known as Peruvian Marching Dust Smoo…
Read full storyArt Secrets-There Is A Tiny Sculpture From Earth On The Moon
A tiny 3.5-inch, aluminum, doll-like sculpture called, 'Fallen Astronaut', was placed on the moon in 1971, (an Apollo Mission), to commemorate all 14 astronauts who had died, to advance us into space. We all thought it was a lot of 'hooey' at the…
Read full storyIn An Effort To Lure Away Passengers From Competing Airlines, Jet Blue Will Begin Serving Flyers T-Bone Steaks (In Coach)
CHICAGO - (Satire News) - The airlines are scrambling like hell to lure passengers away from other airlines, as many airlines are losing money left and right and right and left. Jet Blue has announced that in an effort to lure flyers away from Del…
Read full storyClimate Change - People In Underground Houses Winners In Long Run
We have Global Warming because we have 8 billion people (and growing) and their activities are causing the huge amounts of Excess CO2, ruining the planet. Just don't tell the Indians, Muslims, Chinese, Evangelicals or Catholics-they don't want to…
Read full storyTrump's Future Daughter-In-Law, Kimberly Guilfoyle Is Now Regarded As America's Number One Female Leech
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Kimberly Guilfoyle has been described by most news agencies as being nothing more than a leech, who latches on to noted individuals (men) who are in the national limelight and woos them with her womanly ways. And th…
Read full storyThe US Center For Disease Maladies Reports That The Corn Husk Flu Has Now Spread From Iowa To Kansas
CHICAGO - (Satire News) - The United States Center For Disease Maladies has just issued a statement regarding the sneeze-inducing Corn Husk Flu. The flu which originated in the corn fields of Iowa, has now crossed the state line and is causing hor…
Read full storyGreat Britain Reports That It Is Very Close To Totally Eradicating Fog
LONDON - (SATIRE NEWS) - Queen Elizabeth is extremely happy to announce that PM Boris Johnson called her and informed her that British scientists are very, very close to being able to totally eradicate fog. Her magical majesty, as her grandkids ca…
Read full storyTrump Says Ivanka Needs A Damn Good Spanking For Throwing His Ass Under The Bus
ATLANTA, Georgia - (Satire News) - Fox News host Tucker "The Creep" Carlson said he spoke to Trump and he has never seen the orange complected fella so angry, so bitter, and so downright Hitleresque crazy. Carlson said that DJT told him that he ca…
Read full storyThe Supreme Court Rules In An Emergency Session That Trump Has A Brain The Size of a Flea's Dick
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Chief Justice John Roberts called an emergency session of the Supreme Court. Roberts is extremely shocked and concerned at what is coming out at The Senate Condemnatory Hearing on The Evil Terroristic Assault of…
Read full storyIt's Official - Queen Elizabeth Owns 4,738 Hats
LONDON, England - (Satire News) - Queen Elizabeth was recently interviewed at a cricket match and asked about the horrendously evil dictator, Valdimir Nikita Putin. The queen smiled and said that if she was not an English lady, she'd call him an a…
Read full storyThe Boston Celtics Offer Stephen Curry Twice The Salary That The Golden State Warriors Are Paying Him
BOSTON - (Sports Satire) - The owner of the Boston Celtics who got beat by the Golden State Warriors have decided to make the NBA Finals MVP (Stephen Curry) an extremely lucrative offer to leave GS and play for the Celtics. Team owner Wycliffe "Mo…
Read full storyFiFi The Amazing Picasso-Style Painting Mouse Sells His Very First Painting For $18,000
SAN FRANCISCO - (Satire News) - The art world is spinning at the fact that a normal house mouse that weighs 32 grams, has just sold his very first painting. The mouse named FiFi is considered to be the Picasso of Mice Painters and he has just sold…
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