Have A Slash for Freedom!

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Tuesday, 21 June 2022

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Slash and Destroy!

Boris Johnson has sent out a plea to all men, women and children (and even some canines) of Britain to go to the pub and “have a slash”.

To those from other countries, this means to expel urine through your urethra. Piss.

The reason why Boris is asking all and sundry to go to the pub, where much fuel can be found in the form of “pints”, “wee drams”, “a slog of grog”, or “a tankard of your finest, barkeep”, is to help Ukraine fight Russia.

The sheer number of pubs in Great Britain is staggering to those who have only coffee shops, and the amount of piss produced by those who drink (essentially, everyone) has the ability to drown all the soldiers Russia can send to Ukraine.

Once all the piss is in (with more always on the way, especially after a long hard day at the coal mines and cubicles), the yellow liquid (mostly yellow, some with chunks and white “tadpoles” swimming around – not sure what those are, but Boris says every little bit helps) will be poured into vast tankards and sent by railroad across Europe.

The rallying cry soon to be heard by all Britons will be: “Ass, Gas, or Slash – the Russian Bear Shall Drown Beneath John Bull’s Yellow Tsunami!”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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