The United Red States Of America By Mitch McConnell
Senator Mitch McConnell of the state of Kentucky, population 6 million, (or thereabout) is renaming the United States, the The United Red States of America. Why? Because he can. Though he was elected by less than 6 million voters from the red s...
Read full storyPope Authorizes Social Distance Baptisms Using Water Pistols
"Over our 2,000-year history, the Church has always adjusted," said Pope Francis, as he announced a major change in baptisms rituals and canonical law to reflect the coronavirus situation. According to the New Testament, Jesus of Nazareth was submer...
Read full storyFuture Presidential Candidate Snorting Cocaine & Touching Up Women Thinking It's Totally 'Rad'
Future presidential candidate, Richard Harper, 22, was last week enjoying a spring break vacation with his buddies, totally unaware that his antics would one day ruin his chances of becoming the 55th President of these United States. Without a car...
Read full storyMan TYPING IN CAPS Angry About Everything!!
Fort Lauderdale man, Tatty J. Mullett Jnr, expressed his anger at the Chinese, Donald Trump, Jews, Meghan Markle, The Miami Dolphins, God, and Ellen Degeneres by typing in ALL CAPS when responding to messages posted on a website discussion board.
Read full storyMan Fulfils Lifetime Ambition While Working From Home
The coronavirus lockdown has been a huge challenge worldwide, and the United Kingdom - and the Isle of Wight in particular - has been no exception. But there are silver linings inside these COVID Clouds. The UK is currently celebrating Brexit i...
Read full storyNo Winner Declared Yet in the Red Tribe Vs. Blue Tribe Social Media Political Propaganda Spinning Contest
Washington - After years of posting mindless and pointless political arguments on social media outlets like Twitter and Facebook, millions of participants in the great online political propaganda pissing contest, who have nothing better to do than to...
Read full storyBritt Ekland: "Peter Sellers Was a Very Tormented Soul" - the Online Forum Speaks Out
The Guardian - Britt Ekland Speaks About Life With Peter Sellers: "He Was A Very Tormented Soul" Chick2001 Surely its' is time Brit Egland shut's up. Aftur awl, how olde is she? Anshunt. Prehysterical. An she needs to get a reefand off her plas...
Read full storyTrump sings Chinese National Anthem in major diplomatic row
A major diplomatic row has blown up between the Unites States and China as a result of a version of the Chinese National Anthem sung by President Donald Trump today in Washington DC. Trump decided to sing the English language version of the anthe...
Read full storyChild's Birthday Cake Dropped On Way Back From Shop
There was panic afoot in one couple's minds this morning when, on their way back from a shopping trip to buy their young son a birthday cake, the motorbike they were riding had a minor skirmish with another motorbike, and the aforementioned cake was...
Read full storyMatt Hancock surprised to discover Isle of Wight is an island
After his surprise discovery that the United Kingdom was an island nation with a busy sea port at Dover, Matt Hancock has now discovered that the Isle of Wight is also an island, but still part of the UK. “To be honest,” he said, “I had confused i...
Read full storyElon Musck To New Baby: Get A Job Kid!
Elon Musck and his wife welcomed their first child into the pandemic tired world yesterday. Musck who has had exceedingly little good to say about stay-at-home orders, was not about to let his newborn soften his stance. "She needs to get out on he...
Read full storyNew Covid-19 App to be trialled on Isle of Wight
In some exciting news, the Isle of Wight has been selected by the UK Government to act as a testbed for the new UK Covid-19 Tracing App. This marvellous technology will allow the IOW to re-open for business by using phones to track where everybody...
Read full storyBiden's Bland Yet Forceful Denial of Sexual Assault Allegations Gives Americans New Hope for Nation
Desperate for a glimpse of a light at the end of the “Trump tunnel,” Americans troubled by the sexual assault allegations made by former Senate aide, Tara Reade, against presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, felt renewed hope for the...
Read full storyA Bar in Georgia Changes Its Name to the C-19 Good Old Boy Lounge
SAVANNAH, Georgia – The owner of one of the biggest bars in the city of Savannah has just changed its name. Charlotte Silverwater, who is owner of The Dixie Belle Bar & Grill, informed the news media that she has decided to open her saloon doo...
Read full storyPresident Trump Asked What He Would Do If He Were To Catch The Coronavirus
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump was asked at his daily Press Conference/Campaign Pep Rally about himself possibly getting the COVID-19 flu virus. The president instantly jumped on the reporter for asking him yet another ‘gotcha’ question. Th...
Read full storyThe Madonna–Taylor Swift Feud Flares Up
NEW YORK CITY – The Right Coast Revue is reporting that Madonna is at it again. She has just started a feud with America’s darling, Taylor Swift. The 61-year-old singer cannot seem to accept the fact that she has now become as relevant as an 8-tra...
Read full storyPiers Morgan Says That President Trump Needs to Resign Before He Turns America Into Guatemala
LONDON – Piers Morgan, who is a co-host on the morning show, Good Morning Britain, is totally infatuated with Queen Elizabeth, Stella Artois Beer, and fog. He has recently had a falling out with President Trump, or as Morgan calls him, “The Tweete...
Read full storyBoris Johnson Reveals Govt. Had Contingency Plan In Place In Case Of His Death
The British prime minister, Boris Johnson, is now back at work, and firing on all cylinder, after overcoming the Coronavirus, but there were a few hairy moments before he finally 'pulled through'. Indeed, things looked so bleak at one stage, that...
Read full storyLionel Richie Told It Wasn't Him You Were Looking For
Lionel Richie, the American Idol judge and former chart-topping soul singer who had a number 1 hit single with 'Hello' back in 1983, has received formal notification that the person to whom the song was being sung, was not looking for him. Richie,...
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