Boris Johnson Reveals Govt. Had Contingency Plan In Place In Case Of His Death

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 5 May 2020

image for Boris Johnson Reveals Govt. Had Contingency Plan In Place In Case Of His Death
The fumbling, mumbling, bumbling PM's body-double, earlier

The British prime minister, Boris Johnson, is now back at work, and firing on all cylinder, after overcoming the Coronavirus, but there were a few hairy moments before he finally 'pulled through'.

Indeed, things looked so bleak at one stage, that the Tory government had already met to discuss contingency plans about how to proceed in the event of the shockheaded goon's death.

Ministers had gone so far as to deal with the tricky subject of his replacement.

The subject came to light yesterday morning, as Johnson, searching through some cupboards at number 10, Downing Street, came upon what looked like a lifesize effigy of himself, bundled into a large plastic bag.

On making enquiries with colleagues, who were less than enthusiastic about explaining what the newspaper- and-straw-filled dummy was, he decided to call a meeting of his senior ministers last night, where the revelation was nervously made that, if Johnson had perished, 'this' would have been his stand-in.

It had been hoped that the 'dummy' could have been presented before TV cameras, with someone standing behind it, pouring forth with an incessant inane babble, and that the discerning British public would have been none the wiser.

The Prime Minister said:

"You see, we've been criticised over our planning for the Coronavirus pandemic, but this is the kind of good, careful preparation and level-headed thinking we need. Also, it's an extremely good likeness!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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