Future Presidential Candidate Snorting Cocaine & Touching Up Women Thinking It's Totally 'Rad'

Funny story written by Dewani Unhatched

Tuesday, 5 May 2020

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Future presidential candidate, Richard Harper, 22, was last week enjoying a spring break vacation with his buddies, totally unaware that his antics would one day ruin his chances of becoming the 55th President of these United States.

Without a care in the world, Harper snorted four lines of coke before heading to a nightclub with his college friends, where he grabbed girl's bottoms, rubbed against their backs, and, on two occasions, copped a feel of a pair of breasts. Posing for selfies as he lit up a joint, Harper had no inkling that his actions would come back and haunt him 40 years from now.

The loose cannon 22-year-old, who one day will get his act together and attend law school before running for Governor in 2042, will try to erase any trace of last weeks' events; unfortunately, political opponents will be contacted by a former friend who will call Harper, 'a fucking crazy dude who liked to party, smoke, get high and touch girls'.

Other friends would then come out of the woodwork claiming that the politician would often scream “hey, everybody, we need to get fucked up! Let’s do some shots, man! Do it! Pass me a smoke nigga."

Today though, Harper still does not realize how much he will regret posting photos of himself online drunk, with a 'blackface', and visibly touching a teenage girl's crotch.

This reporter tried to reach out to Harper, but was told by friends that the 'crazy-ass mothafucka' had just downed 10 beers and a half bottle of vodka, and was driving to see his dealer.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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