Trump Facing Landslide Loss
Polls don’t lie. People are protesting in the streets. This biblical-type pandemic is spreading around the world, and Donald Trump is facing a landslide loss in November. Why? The do-nothing guy in the White House did nothing but give his rich friend...
Read full storyBabe The Blue Ox, Paul Bunyan And The Statue Of Liberty: On Topple Short List
BILLINGSGATE POST: Three of the most cherished symbols of American hegemony may soon be swept into the dustbin of history by revisionist zealots. All of them, in their own way, have inspired millions of viewers over the years. No, we’re not talkin…
Read full storyPeople who voted for idiots are shocked that idiots are now running the country.
Bobbit Mcgee, 31 is shocked to see what the result of his 2016 vote has turned out to be. 'I voted for that chap, the one with the hair, and the wild staring eyes, and the issues with his pappa, and the small hands, because I thought that whatever…
Read full storySun thinking about what trouble it can cause this weekend
Earth's Sun, 93 million-year-old small star, Gary Williamson, is thinking about all of the problems that he can cause for the people of one of his small planets, Earth. The troublesome ball of fire tells us: 'There I am in space, spinning at thous…
Read full storyWimbledon 2020 To Be Played On Nintendo Wii
It's just been announced that this year's Wimbledon tennis championships WILL go ahead, after all - but not as usual. The Championships, which are, and have been, ever since 1877, staged at the All England Club in London, SW19, will undergo a majo...
Read full storyRedneck Runs on Defund the Police Platform
Wilfred “Bubba Billy” Watson of Pensacola, Florida, whom we heard from before, Florida Man Warns New Yorkers, has announced that he is running as a Democrat for Mayor of Pensacola. He promised that, if elected, he will defund the Pensacola police.
Read full storyThe Dixie Chicks Make A Big Name Change
BALTIMORE – The all-girl band known as the Dixie Chicks were in Baltimore visiting the Baltimore Orioles Baseball Museum and having Pelican Pizza, which the girls fell in love with several years ago. While in town, they were asked by a reporter fo...
Read full storyBlack Lives Matter Points Out That Half The Dudes on Mount Rushmore Owned Slaves
DETROIT – A spokesperson for the BLM organization, which now has over 4 million members, including 37,000 whites, has just informed the media that two out of the four presidents on Mount Rushmore were slave owners. George Washington, the nation’s…
Read full storyThe Roseanne Barr Flying Circus Has Come To Town
SAN FRANCISCO – A reporter with The San Francisco Nightly Herald, Nixie Ballytuck, sat down with Roseanne Barr, or actually with what is the shell of the old original Roseanne Barr. Ballytuck described the disoriented comedian as the Roseanne Barr…
Read full storyStormy Daniels Explains Why She Refers To Donald Trump as a Planetary Lover
LOS ANGELES – The woman who was paid $131,265 hush money by the President's attorney, Michael Cohen, has just revealed why she said that Donald J. Trump was a “Planetary Lover”. Stormy spoke with Vodka Vermicelli of iRumors, and told her that "Spa…
Read full storyBen & Jerry's Names Its Latest Ice Cream Flavor After President Trump
BURLINGTON, Vermont – The most popular ice cream producer in the nation has just announced a brand new ice cream flavor. The new ice cream flavor was developed by a team of Ben & Jerry ice cream experts who worked for 17 straight hours, eating…
Read full storyNow That Roseanne Barr Has Revealed That Trump is a Woman, Many Are Wondering if He Will Be Grabbing Himself by the You-Know-What
BROOKLYN – The woman who was once 'the' Roseanne Barr, sat in a hotel room and rattled off some semi-incoherent blabbings. Coming out of leftfield, the space cadet revealed some earth-shattering info. She said that President Trump is a woman. Yes,…
Read full storyDead People Received Stimulus Checks
It now seems as if several dead people received stimulus checks. So, what do you expect? Trump’s in charge. He’s the one who announced, There were some good Nazis. One has to wonder whether he learned anything in school or through life lessons.
Read full storyNative American Indian With Dynamite Arrested At Mount Rushmore
It's been announced in the last few minutes, that police in the Black Hills have apprehended and arrested a man carrying a quantity of dynamite in the area of Mount Rushmore. The man was said by witnesses to be a Native American indian, and looked…
Read full storySore Loser Trump Now Accuses Obama Of Treason
With Joe Biden appealing to the masses, rising in the polls, leaving President Trump behind in exhaust fumes, Trump is in a panic and has accused Biden and Obama of treason! Treason? What must the neighbors think? Down, down, down in the polls…
Read full storyTucker Carlson disinvited from The White House for bawdy commentary
FOX News analyst Tucker Carlson may be temporarily away from his desk for undisclosed reasons. He has once again made commentary on “a profound national emergency”. He has also said the country's leaders, whether Democrat or Republican, are “di…
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