Babe The Blue Ox, Paul Bunyan And The Statue Of Liberty: On Topple Short List

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Friday, 26 June 2020

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BILLINGSGATE POST: Three of the most cherished symbols of American hegemony may soon be swept into the dustbin of history by revisionist zealots. All of them, in their own way, have inspired millions of viewers over the years.

No, we’re not talking about Cigar Store Indians or the like. We’re talking about a Blue Ox standing 30 feet tall, measured from hooves to withers, Paul Bunyan, a concrete and metal sculpture over 31 feet from boot bottoms to hat, and the Statue of Liberty, which is 151 feet tall; twice that if measured from the base.

Incidentally, Babe the Blue Ox’s balls weigh 16 pounds each. Of interest to those whose minds have a tendency to dwell on preverted statistics, one of the balls was used by Elmer Smuckmeister to bowl a perfect game of 300 at the Beaver Crossing Fun Alleys.

The Statue of Liberty, which was a gift from France, is currently under scrutiny because the City of Bordeaux was once a center of the Slave Trade in the 17th century.

Babe the Blue Ox, the legendary beast of burden, has no significant derogatory history to speak of. However, his master, Paul Bunyan, was a lumberjack known for chopping down trees by the thousands - a no-no in this present environment. Both have debatable authenticity, but have huge statues of themselves all over the country.

Slim: “Is Babe a girl or a boy?”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. I’ll bite. What do ya think?”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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