There were 131 spoof news stories published in August 2017. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Fire And Fury Was A Spell-Check Typo, Says Trump
It would appear that everyone misunderstood President Trump's threats to North Korea, when he said, "They will be met with fire, fury and frankly power the likes of which this world has never seen before." Reacting to provocative nuclear missile t...
Read full storyThe Swedish White Moose: Why Is He White?
A few possible explanations: He's not of this world. He's a ghost. He's hoping to get a part in a remake of the 1990 movie GHOST. His momma gave him a bath and she scrubbed too hard. He's In costume. Getting ready for Halloween a little earl...
Read full storyBeefy gravy wrestling contestants in UK get roasted!
This can only happen in the UK, a "Gravy Wrestling Contest" held annually in Burnley Lancashire! No other nation would even contemplate wrestling in fatty gravy; however mad Brits are what they are, nutters! Sadly, the participants at this years a...
Read full storyFrozen elephant crap divulges elephant stress levels!
Scientists in India are rapidly discovering why elephants can become stressed by analysing their crap, it seems! Now if one has ever chased elephants on a safari, observed the poor creatures chained to their master's logs, being hunted by poachers...
Read full story"Shit happens" literally as California burglar leaves his DNA in the bog!
In California the clocks tick differently and so do their thieves especially after downing a hot, spicy Mexican taco or two before "pooping" off to work! A burglar who broke into a home in Thousand Oaks, LA, felt his belly rumble as he was loading...
Read full storyMan Discovers Secret to Retail Revival
Who knew it could be so easy? One man has a unique solution to stop the onslaught of retail stores from shuttering their windows and locking their doors. He is formulating a follow-up plan to prevent tumbleweeds from rolling across barren mall pa...
Read full storyBarry Scott in overdose and insanitary home shambles
Barry Scott has spent a 2nd month in a medically induced coma after becoming seriously ill from drinking a potentially lethal amount of miracle household cleaner Cillit Bang. We've learned that Scott initially took to drinking the product after be...
Read full storyAussie thief gets nicked getting pissed on duty!
Aussies, renowned for their drinking habits and boozing all other competitors under the table, especially Brits, have now been found out not to be quite such Spartanic boozers! A well known boozing burglar in Esperance, West Australia, broke into...
Read full storyNo farts allowed in Miss BUMBUM contest in Brazil!
The annual Miss BUMBUM contest in Brazil has been hit with new regulations as bare bummed beauties hit the streets of Rio hoping to win the prize for the nicest bum in Brazil. The competition is furious as the prize is a lot of bucks and, the one-...
Read full storyWhite House ablaze after all the recent factional skirmishes - Trump.com™ says let the Dump Burn
After the recent Under the Bus Communist Party Blood Letting, factional wars have broken out of several fronts within the West Wing. Despite new CoS declaring Martial Law running gun battles are still taking place within the confines of the building...
Read full storyMcDonut's burgers found to have traces of meat
Following claims by the McDonut's chain that their burgers are more nutritious than a rump steak, the International Standards Association conducted a scientific analysis of their burgers globally. The summarised results show the following slightly wo...
Read full story"Saggy Boobs" are in claims UK TV star after visiting Volga Olga!
Ancient Russian hag, 85 year-old nymphomaniac, dancing star of Jaggedone's, "Nutters Beach Club" of Facebook fame, and last not least, superstar in the Erskine Quint trilogy, Volga Olga, has at last been globally acknowledged for her considerable att...
Read full storyDonald Trump Is Not A Bimbo
Just because he can't call an American Nazi a terrorist, or a white supremest a terrorist, the World International Society of Psychiatry and Stability, announced that they do not believe that Donald Trump's bone spurs, (the same bone spurs that secur...
Read full storyFake news journalist nearly accidentally writes the truth
Fake news journalist Edgar Blyton, not his real name, came close to accidentally publishing a true story last week in Illustrated Lies Magazine. "It's not that I intended to write the truth" the fake Blyton said, "I was in the middle of writing some...
Read full storyTrump and Kim Jong-Un Compare Dick Sizes
In a contest guaranteed to have no winners, Trump challenged North Korea with fire and fury, which North Korea's Kim Jong-Un followed up with references as to how close North Korea is to Guam. Guam has been put on Red Alert, while Trump's consulta...
Read full storyKanye West designer smelly, sweaty sneakers worth more than fitted kitchens!
With North Korea exploding, Houston sinking, and the rest of the world going "bananas", it seems there is no limit to utter insanity infecting the minds of modern day generations. Stinking designer sneakers, better known as trainers, are being flo...
Read full storyTrump.com™ to build wall to stop further Hurricanes
After bragging his crowds are bigger than any Hurricane he has vowed to protect America from really really big storms by building a wall to stop the weather. Scientists were initially skeptical though as the size of the wall would have to exceed t...
Read full story"I Stand By My President"
Hypothetical: President Trump calls for the processing and imprisoning of 3 million illegal immigrants in internment camps in the United States. How will his fellow Republicans respond? Paul Ryan: "I idea of imprisoning 3 million immigrants--le...
Read full storyMary Magdalene Tell-all: "Jesus Was a Lousy Lay, But a Pretty Good Talker."
HEAVEN--Random Event Publishing, Inc., the main publishing house for Heaven, released last week, amid much controversy, the long-awaited tell-all by Jesus's follower and consort Mary Magdalene. In the tell-all Mary talks, to some extent, about her...
Read full storyTop jokers jokes in Edinburgh aint that funny!
The Edinburgh Fringe joke of the year, a prestigious prize for prize jokers hoping to jump on the stage at the jokers UK mecca, The Apollo, are cracking up but, not cracking too many show-stoppers! The winning joke was about the glorious GB Pound,...
Read full storyBig ag has cross bred chickens with Dolly Parton
Big Bend, TX - Scientists working with big agriculture have increased chicken breast size Texas style. The mutant chickens resulting from the work, according to local farmer Culo Gordo, are increasing profits by 126 percent. According to our sci...
Read full storyTrump.com™ sick of disloyal GOP decides its time for his "coming out" and declares his love for KKK
As the fallout from Charlottesville still descends on a disintegrating Whitehouse Trump.com has had enough of all the namby pamby political correct whiners and has called it a day with the Republican Party. Press Secretary read a release, "after u...
Read full storyFat Cat Fringo scores a hole in one on all 18 greens of Trump National Golf Course
COLTS NECK, N.J. - Ghost Town County Political Boss and Gawdzillionaire Fat Cat Fringo had an unbelievable and ultra-spectacular score at Trump National on Monday. Yes, believe it or not, Fringo knocked down a hole in one on all 18 holes of the well...
Read full storyTrump Files for Moral Bankruptcy
Washington, DC - President Donald Trump filed for moral bankruptcy today. The nation accepted the filing. Demanding a "fresh start", Trump tweeted, "I get out of every problem by filing for bankruptcy. Today is no different." The bankruptcy f...
Read full storyGerman budget supermarket goes "Underwear Transgender!"
It seems there is no letting up in today's modern world of sexual freedom and a German budget giant supermarket has decided to jump on the "Anything Goes Parade" by launching a brand new range of underwear for him and her and her and him! Their la...
Read full storyAl Gore warns of a pending eclipse of the sun by the earth
UPDATE PRINT THROUGH Al Gore was found with his lips frozen to Obama’s anatomy late last night on a golf course in the Midwest, police report. The pair is expected to recover as soon as Global Warming hits. In the meantime they are headed to warm...
Read full storyGlobal masturbating officially acknowledged by the WHO and UN as folks-sport Nr1!
Way back in the 1960's when the world officially acknowledged that people did have sex with each other, it caused a "Sexual Revolution" and the rest is history! After roughly 50 years of officially jumping in and out of bed with whoever one wishes...
Read full storyThe politics of survival in Ghost Town, N.J., is existential, brutal and sad!
GHOST TOWN, N.J. - "Mayor, Fat Cat Fringo wants to know if you've had the city water crew run the city water lines to his underground casino on the north side yet." I walked into the mayor's office and he was finagling around with one of those Rub...
Read full storyPrincess Diana's corpse to feature in a fashion show
A group of tabloid editors, gravediggers and fashion designers have banded together to provide what may be the most astonishing fashion show in history. Princess Diana's rotting body has been exhumed, fitted and measured and is ready to hit the runwa...
Read full storyMinnesota Japanese Beetle destruction blamed on "the munchies"
Medical marijuana farms established to supply Minnesota with it's recently legalized medication are being singled out as the primary cause of the over voracious insects attacks on other cash crops in the state. Scientists believe that after cons...
Read full storyPutin & Trump Love Affair Is Beginning To Stink
Apparently, the Putin & Trump love affair is beginning to stink. Not like roses and lolly pops, but smell rich with suspicion. What could Trump owe Putin in dollars, real estate, votes, or pee videos, to make him appear oblivious to Putin's knock...
Read full storyDonald Trump tweets tribute to Bruce Forsyth
President Trump has used his Twitter account to express his deep sadness at the death of veteran British entertainer Sir Bruce Forsyth, who died yesterday at the age of 89. Sir Bruce has been a star of British television for decades and much-loved...
Read full storyResearch Study Spurs Study Surfing, New Campus Craze
A study just published, Study Finds Cat People Are More Intelligent Than Dog People, has sparked a resurgence in the public's curiosity about controversial conclusions in the social sciences. Now called Study Surfing, the resurgence is especially pop...
Read full storyTrump.com™ launches pre-emptive nuclear attack on Guam after he heard it on Fox & Friends it was part of the North Korean problem
Trump.com™ is said to very upset that North Korea is ignoring his deathly powerful tweets and his tiny ego is so incensed he has ordered a nuclear strike against Korean territories in Guam. It has been confirmed that Guam as we know it is ba...
Read full storyJay Cutler quits new job, so he can go back to old job, that he will likely quit, because he always quits
To absolutely no one's surprise Jay Cutler didn't spend one day inside a press booth. Kevin Burkhardt and Charles Davis both expressed their relief in not having to speak to Cutler in the press booth. "Have you ever heard the guy talk?" Burkhardt...
Read full storyNose Pickers Association of America Releases Statement Denouncing Charlottesville Violence
The Nose Pickers Association of America (NPAA) issued a statement regarding the incidents surrounding white nationalists and neo-nazi's assembling in Virginia over the weekend. "We noticed one of the pictures displayed one of the participants pick...
Read full storyANTIFA burn down Mississippi McDonald's
Biloxi, MS- After a local McDonald's refused to take down a statue featuring Ronald McDonald, Grimace, and the Hamburglar, a large group of ANTIFA burned the establishment to the ground. ANTIFA spokesperson Tiffany Jackson said, "What we did was...
Read full storyMcDonald's: Thanks for the Weight Loss!
In Raleigh, NC, Merab Morgan pulled off something astonishing by losing 37 pounds on a diet based solely on McDonald's food. She said, "I thought it's two birds with one stone - to lose weight and prove a point for the little fat people." She...
Read full storyIt is a fact proven by scientists; 45% of Brits are damn lazy!
A recent research by scientists, healthcare experts and fitness freaks has proven to the whole world that fundamentally, Brits are damn lazy! 45% of over 16's prefer to laze on the sofa, drink cans of lager, refuse to go out for a brisk walk to th...
Read full storyNRA Condemns Charlottesville Violence
In a recent interview with Fright Fart News, NRA spokesmilf Sierra Peelin decried the violence that marked recent protests in Charlottesville Virginia. "That James Fields showed incredibly poor judgement", she lamented. "Why, for a fraction of th...
Read full storyNew Zealand silently invades Australia
After years of planting double agent sleepers in the Australian government, the plans to invade appear to have succeeded. With now 69 parliamentarians and senators being exposed has having dual Australian and New Zealand citizenship, they are maki...
Read full storyAustralians asked to vote on what century it is
The Australian government will issue a postal plebiscite (kind of a questionnaire for plebs) to ask Australians to vote on what the date is. Dogged by claims of being out of touch, Prime Minister Malarkey Bullshite indicated in federal parliament...
Read full storyTrump.com™ pardons 129 serial killers including Sheriff Arpaio
Cowering behind the Texas hurricane Trump.com™ has committed yet another impeachable act and pardoned Americas 129 of the US worst serial killers. They are to be employed as Trump.com™ personal protection group and also assist sheriff...
Read full storyMarie Antoinette vows revenge on the instagram whiners - Says no more Cake or Champagne Popsicles for the peasants
After the most awful nasty things that the public said to Antoinette after all, she was only just flaunting conspicuous consumption. She is said to be enraged and has vowed revenge upon the peasants of America. She has told her husband there will...
Read full story'I Was Robbed', Says Conor McGregor
MMA Superstar Conor McGregor claims he was robbed during the mega-fight with now 50-0 World champion Floyd Mayweather. 'When I left my dressing room, I had a Rolex watch in my man bag but after the fight, it was gone.' When asked what made him th...
Read full storyPotatoes Bad, Snakes Good!
Rodrigo Franco was arrested in July 2017 in Los Angeles for smuggling reptiles into the United States. He was importing crocodiles, turtles, and snakes all of which are protected under U.S. law. The craziest is how this guy managed to ship the king c...
Read full storyCivil War Monuments are uprooting themselves and fleeing the onslaught of the Neo-Nazis
After the recent Charlottesville massacre many civil war monuments have decided to pack up camp and make a run ahead of the waves of Neo-Nazis. It appears even the blood lust slavers of the Old South can't stand the odor of the new wave of US Neo-Na...
Read full storyTrump's secret plan to restart draft
Not mentioned in President Donald Trump's televised speech to the nation announcing a stepped up war in Afghanistan was his secret plan to restart the draft. This time, with approval from a willing Republican majority in congress, women will be requi...
Read full storyWhen the FBI Comes Knocking, It's Time to Get Your Party Rocking
Inside the Government.… A surprise FBI raid on the home of a former Trump advisor has the Beltway in a panic. The insiders are wondering…What if I'm next? In fact there's no need to worry. As long as you follow the suggestions offered here, you ca...
Read full storyElderly spoof writer ponders stages of life!
You told me about conception. You told me about birth. You told me about infancy. You told me about early childhood. You told me about puberty. You told me about young adulthood. You told me about middle age. You told me about the "golden years." You told me about old age. OK. I am now 86 years old. That is VERY old! I am now shitting my brains out! More is coming out t...
Read full storyNo Matter How You Slice It, Surgical Blunders Are On The Rise
For those of you scheduled to undergo surgery in the near future, you might want to add a few items to your hospital overnight ditty bag. In addition to the usual stash of toothpaste, toothbrush, rosary beads, rabbits foot, Heineken, magazines and Fig Newtons, be sure to include the following: Magic Markers, pens, spray paint, Crayolas, road flares, neon arrows, and a flashing "This End Up" sign.
Read full storyAustralia to introduce Gay Apartheid
Australian Minister for Foreign Affairs, Julie Bishop, has announced that the Australian government plans to introduce a Gay Apartheid policy at Christmas. A senior minister in the ruling Liberal-Nazis-And-Trickle-Down-Christian-Pedophiles-And-Wife-B...
Read full storyPSG Paris pay 200 million Euros for a 2 year-old super kid!
The football world is rocking at the shocking events pertaining to a Brazilian footy superstar being transferred from one club to another for the horrendous sum of over 200 million Euros. However, this is just the beginning of the end for all comm...
Read full storyCruise ship stuck in Gulf due to Hurricane Harvey, passengers in living hell
Mrs. Jane Sunderland is on-board a cruise ship in the middle of the Gulf, unable to dock due to the stalled Hurricane Harvey. The luxury liner left last Sunday, August 20th and was due to return to Houston on the 27th. "We are living in absolu...
Read full storyWhy The London Gazette Rejected "A Modest Proposal"
From: Editor, The London Gazette To: Jonathan Swift Subj.: Your Submission Dear Mr. Swift: Thank you for your recent submission of "A Modest Proposal" to the Opinion pages of The London Gazette. The piece was a most interesting read. Unfortunately, we are unable to use it. We wish you well in finding a place for it elsewhere. We normally do not respond to unsolicited submissions, but in...
Read full storyNorth Koreans Required to Start Wearing "Kim Jong-Underwear"
Pynonyang, North Korea It was announced that all Koreans, in order to honor leader Kim Jong-Un, must wear "Kim Jong-Underwear," which is made of Korea burlap and had pictures of Kim Jong-Un on it. North Koreans are now subject to spot searches to...
Read full storyTrump Denies Ties to Neo-Nazis; Announces Vacation in Berlin
Trump Tower, NY President Trump reluctantly denounced the violence at a White Supremacist Rally in Charlottesburg, Virginia, while still blaming the riots on the alt-right and the "alt-left." It was suggested by the dark media that Trump knows hi...
Read full storyTaylor Swift's Awarded Dollar Pushes Her Into New Tax Bracket
After Taylor Swift was allegedly sexually assaulted by a radio DJ who lost his job over her claim about it, that DJ tried to sue her, claiming that the sexual assault never happened. Taylor Swift countersued for one dollar, and was awarded that doll...
Read full storyJared Kushner and Donald Trump, Jr. Accused of Colluding With North Korea's Kim Jong-Un
Washington, DC Ivanka Trump's husband Jared Kushner and Donald Trump, Jr. were accused by the FBI, U.S. Congress, and CNN of colluding with North Korea's Kim Jong-Un to trade top-grade vodka to him for his black-market cocaine, methamphetamine, Ecsta...
Read full storyTrump.com™ claims his crowds are bigger than Hurricane Harvey
Whilst his magnificent benevolent eminence was on his Tour of Compassion in Texas he spent most if his air time boasting that his inauguration crowds were bigger than Hurricane Harvey. Trump.com™ told the world that Harvey was really really...
Read full storyGlobal Warming or Hocus Pocus?
Many people are arguing points for global warming in the news and there are some people that believe it and some that don't. Scientists find errors in global warming data because the satellites drifted in orbit and were reporting nighttime tempera...
Read full storyGay for a Day Spray
Introducing Gay for a Day Spray. Guys, have you ever wanted to go on a date, and no woman was available? This is the solution, Gay for a Day Spray. Just spray it on and you become so fabulous. Guys around you will seem so cute! Do note that this product is intended for men age 18 and older and is not sold in stores. This could increase your risk of becoming the victim of a hate crime, so protec...
Read full storyPFA say FU to FA rule changes!
Since UEFA and FIFA announced their new ABBA penalty tiebreaker shootout system, the FA have decided that now's a good time to unveil some rule changes of their own. The first notable change will be the introduction of a select panel of judges who...
Read full storySex and the Total Solar Eclipse
In a study to be released on Tuesday, Aug. 22, and simultaneously published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, the Harvard Institute on Human Sexuality will report that children conceived during the maximum point in a total solar ecl...
Read full storyUrine Luck - Cow Wee Cures Cancer?
New Delhi invented a new product made from cow urine that has a wide range of cures from cancer, diarrhea, to diabetes. It is on sale by the Bharatiya Janata Party and a BJPan official claimed, "My daughter tried all kinds of things" to get rid of he...
Read full storyRacists Line Up for Presidential Pardon
Charlottesville, VA - As part of a newly announced program, hundreds of racists across the country have lined up in Charlottesville, Virginia to apply for President Trump's presidential pardon. The pardon is granted automatically. To be eligibl...
Read full storyFat Cat Fringo orders the Ghost Town Water Department to build a magic machine to turn sticks, rocks and mud into silver, gold, and platinum
GHOST TOWN, N.J. - "Man, Fat Cat Fringo is a mean taskmaster. How in the world are we going to make some kind of contraption to change sticks, rocks, and mud into silver, gold, and platinum?" the deputy chief water department head said to his crew of...
Read full storyDear Santa
January 12, 2016 Dear Santa, Hey Santa. Ever since I moved out of my parents' house in 1998 I noticed that you stopped coming to my place. I'm a 35 year old man, but this I don't understand! You came every year when I lived with mom and dad, but now that have my own apartment, you don't show. At one point, I almost stopped believing in you! I have been hoping that you are very busy and will ge...
Read full storyJesus bans chrissy chocolate sales in August in UK supermarkets!
Several UK supermarkets feel it is quite proper to flog chrissy choccies in AUGUST! Yes people, August! However, after the chrissy choccies were spotted on the shelves several customers thought it was quite disgraceful to sell chrissy products in sum...
Read full storyThe Time Traveler Vol. 3
A physics professor, Alister Darwin, whose time machine allowed him to travel into the future, is now on a journey with his wife Aesa and his 7-year-old son David, to make contact with the Lumen, a future species of man that lives underground. Darwin...
Read full storyTrump Meets with Mexican President
Wash. D.C.- President Trump met with Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto at the White House on Monday. The meeting was to be a discussion on US/Mexico relations, the proposed Wall along our mutual border, who was to pay for said Wall, and many o...
Read full storyISIS suicide vests in global safety recall
ISIS has announced that hundreds of its suicide bombers will be laid off following a recall of suicide vests by their Iranian manufacturer. The Iranian manufacturer of the vests, Arash Onmabutt Corporation, declined to comment. ISIS spokesman Must...
Read full storyISIS finally concede . . . . . . . to having an HR department
In a shock development today, the Chief Executive of terror state ISIS, Mr Al A Whoakbarre announced that from September this year, ISIS will be adopting formal HR practices for everything it does. It appears that Mr Whoakbarre read in a book, on...
Read full storyTrump Signs Russian Sanctions Bill And Putin Is #@%&
When Trump signed the Russian sanctions bill, (in a White House closet) Putin was #@%&. He threatened to release the Moscow Ritz/Carlton pee video, mentioned in the British MI6 Christopher Steel dossier and set to music by Swan Lake composer Ilyi...
Read full storyTrump Announces Removal of Transgender Corporal from Army Medical Unit in Korea
Washington - President Trump has announced that, as a result of his order banning transgender soldiers from serving in the U.S. Military, that he has ordered the removal of one Corporal from his army unit serving on the Korean Peninsula. "It has c...
Read full storyCommentators say hands off Trump.com™ youngest - Its already bad enough he has Trump.com™ for a father without adding media assassination
The usual petty sniping from fashion media has taken aim at Barron. However in a rare defense of a Trump.com™ the mainstream media have scorned the snipers. They point out the psychological damage the poor kid is undergoing just being Trumps...
Read full storyHas LAPD Really Changed Under Chief Beck?
Los Angeles police chief Charlie Beck was repeatedly interrupted by a small, unruly group of protesters at a press conference last night as he calmly justified the latest shooting of a suspect by his officers. Beck's explanation seemed to satisfy veteran crime reporters present, who have heard the chief repeatedly offer the same explanation - "officers feared for their lives" - at every other suc...
Read full storyKim Jong Un applies for US citizenship
In a surprise development, North Korea's leader Kim Jong Un has applied for US citizenship. Self-styled "Big Dog Nukie Kimbo", who turns turns 12 this year, is apparently over being a ruthless dictator. "I jus want to be rike other kids, be in a nice...
Read full storyPutting a gun in "there" during "you-know-what" is not healthy claim sex experts!
Sodom and Gomorrah, a Biblical fable where people did everything to enjoy their debauched lives is becoming a true story in one English town. During kinky sex games a moronic, sex-mad maniac, pulled out a gun, and tried to "put it in" (ouch!). Luc...
Read full storyDog crap in UK supermarket trolleys is unhygienic claims mum!
Children dumped in supermarket trolleys for free fun-rides through colourful, tasty looking gangways are to be banned because of doggy poop! A very hygienic mum, wearing rubber gloves, observed kiddies, even up to the grand old age of 9, being pus...
Read full storyTrump stuns: Pardons of Arpaio, Bernie & Charles---The art of the pardon!
In a video today President Donald Trump, once again, shocked and dismayed America. In a voice that, at the least, tried to be dramatic. Trump said in a voice eerily similar to Moms Mabley's famous rendition of Abraham, Martin and John that he was par...
Read full storyIrish Jihadists jailed for traffic terrorism
Three Irish jihadists from Kinvara in Co Galway were today jailed following a hearing in the Dublin Supreme Court. Mohammed O'Shaugnessy, Fatima Murphy and Javed O'Connor were convicted of terrorism offences during the busy Kinvara Hate Festival,...
Read full storyTrump's 'Plumbers' Seek Source of White House Leak
WEEKEND WHITE HOUSE, BEDMINSTER, N.J. In what appears to be a throwback to the days of Watergate, President Donald Trump has reportedly organized a band of so-called plumbers to investigate serious leaks at the White House. Anonymous confidential in...
Read full storyAccounting Firm Closed Permanently After Total Solar Eclipse
Columbia, SC - All of the employees of a local accounting firm filed for disability yesterday after attending a firm sponsored "total solar eclipse" reception. With all of the employees now on disability, the firm was forced to shut its doors.
Read full storyBreaking: Trump denies "Fire & Fury" remarks in wild rant!
CNN is reporting this afternoon that President Trump has just gone on a wild rant in a press conference denying recorded remarks he made regarding Korea and Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell! The video shows Trump, obviously distressed, shout...
Read full storyThe Dutch are doing a "Br-eggs-it"!
There are some people in Holland who are so desperate to leave the EU, Wilders, etc, and follow the UK into a dark, unknown abyss, they are willing to poison their own people and other European citizens! In fact, they have even adopted the infamou...
Read full storyOnline Dating Turns into a Family Affair, Leads to Second Date
Portland. In an attempt to jump-start his dating life, Butch Putts, a freshman at the local college, registered his profile with an online dating site, Last Best Hope Dating, Inc. LBHD is currently offering a 20% discount for first-time daters and a 95% discount for returning daters, who've lost all hope but are willing to give it another try. "At 95% off, what do I have to lose but a little...
Read full storyAmerican Psychiatric Association releases stunning new revelations regarding mental health of Trump & Kim Jon-un!
The NY Times is reporting today that the American Psychiatric has released a stunning new report on the similarities in the psychiatric profile of President Donald Trump and Kim Jon-un. The detailed report shows a remarkable similarity between the tw...
Read full storyWhite House phones to be checked after Trump.com™ receives mystery Ghost phone calls from the Scouts and Mexico
Technicians have been bought in to find the source of the Ghost Calls that Trump.com™ has claimed he received. After his beloved eminences world beating speech he gave to the Scouts, which they were forced to repudiate its deranged contents,...
Read full storyTrump claims Hurricane Harvey is fake news!
In an early morning statement President Donald Trump stated that Hurricane Harvey was fake news generated by CNN to keep him out of the news cycle! After an early morning tweet Trump followed it up by issuing the following through his press secre...
Read full storyAustralia takes New Zealand Mainland Annexation Party to High Court - Claims invasion is inappropriate
After the declaration by New Zealand of a hostile takeover, Australian authorities are taking up a desperate fight to save their sovereignty, though bizarrely using the domestic legal system. Foreign Minister strongly condemns invasion as uncalled f...
Read full storyPush, shove or spit...that is the question for Trump
Having revealed an impressively broad range of despicable manners and decorum in his initial months as President when mingling and meeting other heads of state, Donald Trump has now taken 3 llamas into his garden areas, the aim being how to learn to...
Read full storyNuclear option baby-proofed to prevent President Dump Truck from blowing us all up!
After the president Unpresidentially resorted to rhetoric usually ascribed to lunatic dictators in response to North Korea's typical "give me money" antics, the Joint Chiefs of Staff decided that preventative measures needed to be taken. Newly min...
Read full storyCar manufacturers recommend milking your vehicle three times a week
A consortium of car makers, including Soduko, Chingchong and Chuffwrench have released a statement saying that all their cars should be milked three times a week as a minimum, or else they may leak or even explode. It follows a ten-car drowning on...
Read full storyCourage Under Nuclear Fallout
The Dopes were still alive and moved into the once-vacant fallout shelter in our next door neighbor's yard. How I wish they didn't survive the economic collapse, food crisis, power grid failure, nuclear radiation, radioactive ticks, acid banana cream pie rain, unselfies, or the pepperoni yogurt shortage. They are so awkward and strange. Who comes over to their neighbor's house and says, "Hi! How a...
Read full storyTrump.com™ signs Executive Order making police brutaliity mandatory
After not being able to take Healthcare away from millions Trump.com™ is screaming and ranting at everyone in the Whitehouse. He has ordered immediate reprisals against all soft targets, particularly vulnerable groups that he couldn't strip he...
Read full storyTwin Donald Trump And Kim Jong Bookends
History will question, if there is a history, how this world's greatest super power got into a nuclear war with a third world country that reduced its citizens to famine, in pursuit of becoming a member of the nuclear club of nations. Simple: both...
Read full storyThousands Add Name to Trump Do Not Call List
Washington, D.C. - Scores of Americans have registered with a new "Trump Do Not Call List" which prevents Donald Trump from ever calling them. The database opens today. The initiative was sponsored by GOP Senators McCain, Flake, Collins, Corker,...
Read full storyGreek turtle eggs cause budget airline to crash!
On the Greek island of Zakynthos it seems not even budget airlines cannot beat turtle mums laying their eggs on the beach! British tourists waiting in vain for their replacement plane to arrive had to suffer an extension to their holidays (poor th...
Read full storyANTIFA loonies demand Nelson's column in London be torn down!
The final Battle of Trafalgar is about to begin as ANTIFA extremist loonies claim Nelson was a Nazi! After the tearing down of statues in America that have anything to do with the terrible slave era, it is feared that this trend is now tsunami-ing...
Read full storyTiny Yorkshire Terrier arrested in Kingston, UK, after attacking fully grown delivery man!
A tiny Yorkshire Terrier proved to the world that his "bark was genuinely as big as his bite!" A full grown, adult delivery man, not the postman, they belong to a different generation, attempted to enter the tiny terriers territory in downtown Kin...
Read full story