Fake news journalist Edgar Blyton, not his real name, came close to accidentally publishing a true story last week in Illustrated Lies Magazine. "It's not that I intended to write the truth" the fake Blyton said, "I was in the middle of writing some fake news when I forgot which bits were fake, applied some double negatives to the true bits instead of single or triple ones and drafted some real news by mistake."
Blyton clarified "Luckily the true news was about a weather forecast and the forecast weather never happened anyway. So even if the false news had been published it was about something that never happened in the end and so it would have been true that it didn't happen."
A graduate of the Trump University of Journalism, which is not accredited by the American Fake News Association, Blyton admitted he has never been sure whether he was writing fake news or not. "Although some people don't agree, in my experience it's never straightforward and it's a fine line between true and fake news no matter what the facts may or may not be", Blyton claims.
"Half the time true news journalists write things that aren't true, and similarly fake news journalists don't write stories that are false quite often", and that's not surprising."
"In any case, true news is disliked by many people who get fed up hearing so many depressing stories about good things that didn't happen. Many people prefer fake news, even depressing stories, because they know it's not true, if you get my drift."
Janice Goebbels, Blyton's editor, supports Blyton's assertions even though that's not his real name. "Our circulation never improves when we don't publish fake news" she said. "Fake news is not the issue. It's not about that. People want to be entertained and sometimes that means not publishing too much true news and substituting the true stuff with upbeat false news and alternative, non-conforming facts."
