Children dumped in supermarket trolleys for free fun-rides through colourful, tasty looking gangways are to be banned because of doggy poop!
A very hygienic mum, wearing rubber gloves, observed kiddies, even up to the grand old age of 9, being pushed around with dogs crap on their tiny shoes, among other quite revolting things; sticky sweet wrappers, dog ends (not literally, the smoked ones), chewing gum, squashed cauliflower thrown out of the trolley by kids who hate vegetables, among many other tit-bits dumped by customers!
The woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, complained to the supermarket, they in turn informed the local ministry of hygiene (is there one?) who turned up in high-protective, bio-hazard, white suits to measure dog poop levels in the trolleys left by lazy kiddies.
The results were not quite substantial enough to close the supermarket down; however, parents have been ordered to remove their nipper's crap-ridden shoes before putting them in trolleys! Or, let them walk on the floor with dog's poop on their shoes; it's easier to clean they say. In addition, kiddies under three years old wearing shitty nappies have been told to leave the establishment immediately (with their mums if they're not too busy filling the trolley with loads of sugar-filled shit), they could cause a stinking, hygienic meltdown.
Any dog seen patrolling supermarket gangways will be shot on sight and infected trolleys are being flogged to Africa where nobody gives a shit anyway!
It's a dog's life...