Nose Pickers Association of America Releases Statement Denouncing Charlottesville Violence

Funny story written by tprasad23

Thursday, 17 August 2017

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Boogers are color blind. We accept them all.

The Nose Pickers Association of America (NPAA) issued a statement regarding the incidents surrounding white nationalists and neo-nazi's assembling in Virginia over the weekend.

"We noticed one of the pictures displayed one of the participants picking his nose during their vile assembly. We the leaders of the NPAA are sickened, and grossed out by the image, even more so than the average non-NPAA member is grossed out by our annual nose-pick-convention.

We believe nose-picking is a perfectly fine human action, that all human beings can undertake freely and of their own volition. Boogers are color blind, and we accept them all. We have embraced snot from all races, genders, and creeds. Any attempt to conflate our mission of color-blind booger extraction with the horrific statements and actions of the individuals in Virginia is downright insulting and contrarian to our core message.

We ask that further nose picking by anyone identifying as a white nationalist, neo-nazi, or white supremacist be done in private, so as to keep your disgusting ideology away from a very therapeutic act that we cherish, but that some may *perceive* as disgusting, but really is freeing if you try it."

After concluding the statement the NPAA also informed the press corps a forthcoming statement from their sister organization, Farters of America (FOA) will be imminent, after learning the high concentration of farts from the spewers of hate.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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