Jesus bans chrissy chocolate sales in August in UK supermarkets!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Saturday, 19 August 2017


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Sorry mate, you are mega out and nobody gives a crap about your birthday, especially UK supermarkets!

Several UK supermarkets feel it is quite proper to flog chrissy choccies in AUGUST! Yes people, August! However, after the chrissy choccies were spotted on the shelves several customers thought it was quite disgraceful to sell chrissy products in summer!

Devout Christians have complained to the supermarkets claiming the birth of their saviour is being used as a commercial rip off (You don't need to be Einstein to know that!) and people these days don't even know what Christmas means, and don't even care as long as they can stuff themselves, get into huge debts buying presents, booze until they fall over, and generally behave like a bunch of satanic heathens!

Luckily, a UK priest has had contact with Jesus and told him of all these "satanic" goings on in the UK through prayer (what the F is that?) and Jesus has told the priest to tell the supermarkets, and people purchasing chrissy choccies in Summer, it is blasphemous, sex on Christmas day too! Jesus also told the priest to ban anything that insults his birthday!

So the priest, with his holy message from above went to the supermarkets with Jesus's message and they told him to, "F himself because bucks is bucks and we don't give a shit about all that religious crap!"

The priest then stood outside a supermarket screaming Jesus's message to all those who dare buy chrissy choccies in August! Punters told him to F himself too and, within 5 minutes a white van pulled up with 2 security guards and a straightjacket!

He was last seen on his knees in the local loony bin with a halo or a Sword of Damocles hanging over his head!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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