Trump Signs Russian Sanctions Bill And Putin Is #@%&

Written by K.C. Bell

Friday, 4 August 2017

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When Trump signed the Russian sanctions bill, (in a White House closet) Putin was #@%&. He threatened to release the Moscow Ritz/Carlton pee video, mentioned in the British MI6 Christopher Steel dossier and set to music by Swan Lake composer Ilyich Tchaikovsky.

He also promised to release the three Russian hackers, arrested last December and mentioned recently on MSNBC by reporter Richard Engel. One of the three hackers was on a Moscow plane, ready for a fast getaway.

The lawyer of one of the gang of three said he could not discuss why they were arrested, as it would be dangerous for him to say, and dangerous also for Richard Engel.

Why the gang of three was arrested isn't clear, but it is speculated that the three hackers may have been responsible for hacking into the voting machines of Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania, flipping votes on election night and transferring the White House win from Hillary Clinton to Trump.

"Ayeeee," was the banshee cry that echoed throughout the halls of the White House.

Trump was reported, to have a migraine that triple strength Excedrin would not dent and often seen wandering around the White House wearing one of his mother's chenille robes.

"But you promised, #@%&. If I fixed the election and flipped the White House to you, you said you would lift the sanctions."

"No can do, Vlad. The Congress tied my hands. Let me send you a couple of cases of Trump Vodka and a few of my ties."

"You #@%&, is that an example of your negotiating skills and art of your deals?"

"What if I throw in a couple of chocolate cakes?"

Meanwhile, the three super hackers remain locked up in a Moscow jail, and there isn't a Ninotchka or Tom Hanks to provide a get out of jail card. If the three are indeed the top hackers in Russia, they should be able to hack out of jail with a tweet, remove Putin from office, confess their actions in the 2016 US election, restore Hillary Clinton to the White House, and send Trump back to Trump Tower.


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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