After the declaration by New Zealand of a hostile takeover, Australian authorities are taking up a desperate fight to save their sovereignty, though bizarrely using the domestic legal system. Foreign Minister strongly condemns invasion as uncalled for and highly inappropriate.
Government officers have filed an initial petition to have the invasion rendered inappropriate and to make a temporary injunction while they arrange further paperwork. This is being compiled by 632 lawyers in the Attorney Generals Department and expected to be ready in 16 months. However this tardiness may cause the legal move to fail given that NZ Sleeper Sheepers are already organizing supporting beachhead landing parties after the first phase of the plan played out last week. However as previously reported the NZMAP have placed a number of Sleeper Sheepers within the legal system including the presiding judge. The initial injunction was dismissed as inappropriate as it did not have enough paperwork to make it look like a valid petition.
Commentators are asking why the government don't take up a military response to which they Army replied, "that would not be appropriate as this is a political and legal issue and military intervention would not be politically correct". Reporters asked Head of Defense Forces that "wasn't this a bit lame, after all your supposed to be the guys that protect sovereignty with tanks and guns and stuff". The reply came that "it would not be in the interests of Defense to become involved until all other options were exhausted. To which we will have to wait the outcome of the high court hearing in 2 years or so and it would not be appropriate to comment further so as not to prejudice the legal case".
The highly visible and much adored Pri-Minister Malcolm WhatsHisName was said to be really really upset and wrote a very stern letter to the NZMAP. However it was not sent as his editing department thought it was inappropriate and they did not want to upset the New Zealanders. In retaliation Welfare departments are discussing cutting welfare payments to New Zealanders living in Australia, but they were advised by the legal department that might also be inappropriate.
Environmentalist groups have also weighed in saying the destruction of the beach and shellfish habitats at the NZMAP troops landing zone is inappropriate. There was much vigorous debate on whether to use the adjective, very or highly inappropriate. Their lawyers however said that using such overly inflammatory language and the use of the word highly was inappropriate. Federal Statutes indicate that only a High Court Judge can use such potentially offensive strong adjectives as highly.
In late breaking news local armed militia groups that were mounting a shoreline defense in the absence of the army were arrested by police and charged with discharging a weapon on a public beach. Police said that despite the current dire situation that ordinary people defending themselves was against the law. The presiding judge Sleeper Sheeper sensing a delaying vector has put back the second invasion injunction hearing to try these blaggards who think they have the right to defend themselves. He said heavy sentences would be handed down to these terrorists that were defending their family and property, as their behavior was, yes you guessed it, inappropriate. He further added it was not appropriate for the Foreign Minister to claim the NZMAP invasion was inappropriate until the courts had appropriately ruled on the appropricity. He also ordered the ministers arrest for using the adjective highly without high court authorization.