Car manufacturers recommend milking your vehicle three times a week

Thursday, 10 August 2017

image for Car manufacturers recommend milking your vehicle three times a week
It is not recommended to drink your car's milk, especially while the radiator is bleeding

A consortium of car makers, including Soduko, Chingchong and Chuffwrench have released a statement saying that all their cars should be milked three times a week as a minimum, or else they may leak or even explode.

It follows a ten-car drowning on a motorway near Slough, caused by a backed-up udder on a Hubert 900GT. The driver had apparently not milked his car for over a month, and it simply burst from the strain.

Cars began developing udders in the late 2000s, possibly as a result of too many hormones during the assembly process. European regulations state that a car cannot be given more than ten litres of oestrogen during its manufacture, although some Asian manufacturers are reputed to use twice that amount.

Udders do not affect the performance of a car, but should be protected by an udder guard, and of course milked regularly.

Taxi driver Geoff Whatthe, 47, admitted that he was confused. "I'll never forget the day I discovered that my cab had nipples. That was back in 2010. Things have just gotten weirder since then."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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