After bragging his crowds are bigger than any Hurricane he has vowed to protect America from really really big storms by building a wall to stop the weather.
Scientists were initially skeptical though as the size of the wall would have to exceed the clouds making the engineering task very complicated. The wall would also be prone to severe wind sheer not to speak of the commercial aircraft that would bump into it.
However in typical Trumpian.com™ fashion these concerns were meet with a wall of pubescent hyperbole and bluster. "The wall will be magnificent, it will be built on an epic scale, it will worthy of such a great president as me", he bragged on a recent trip to Texas where he deliberately avoided meeting disaster victims.
However the technology to be used is not bricks and mortar but divine power. StormWall™ engineers says it is not the height but the magnificence of his divine power and grace that will ward off the storms. Scientists say this is an adaptation of ancient technology that saw the witch doctors ward off evil spirits. However commentators are skeptical of just how much divine grace Trump.com™ can actually exude, particularity the KKK bad karma from Charlottsville haunting him.
The Treasury said it would create a new StormWall™ tax and given it all blew up from the Gulf of Mexico they would tax residents living in the Gulf. However as reporters pointed out, this may not work as it is an ocean and nobody actually lives there. So instead they will disband FEMA as his eminence will stop all further instances of bad weather with is infinite divine power and Rescue teams will become irrelevant".
After Trump.com™ heard the storm came from the south he immediately linked it to immigrant terrorism and vowed he would stop all immigrant storms with a special Presidential Order™ and his divine magnificence.
