Charlottesville, VA - As part of a newly announced program, hundreds of racists across the country have lined up in Charlottesville, Virginia to apply for President Trump's presidential pardon.
The pardon is granted automatically. To be eligible, an applicant must have voted for Trump at the applicable state primary and general election and engaged in blatant racist activities. An applicant dress code states that white robes, hoods, semi-automatic firearms and torches are optional.
Trump has appointed America's Sheriff Joe Arpaio as ambassador for the program, who was recently pardoned after being convicted of racial profiling and prisoner abuse in Arizona. Sheriff Arpaio has set up "glamping quality" tents for the applicants until each applicant's pardon can be processed, which should take about ten days.
Trump tweeted, "Great work again Joe! Both sides know that this is the right thing to do."
White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders later confirmed that Trump means "Democrats and Republicans" whenever he tweats about "both sides".
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