There were 167 spoof news stories published in November 2016. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Hillary Clinton Named Attorney General
In surprising news today, Hillary Clinton was named attorney general by president-elect Trump. Sources indicate that the Trump transition team has found plenty of Republicans with significant foreign policy experience and plenty of Republicans w...
Read full storyHillary Is Elected President
In a miraculous and purely patriotic act, the Electoral College, a group of officials no one has ever really seen, have decided that it would be in the best interest of the nation and the world, to dissolve their group and allow the majority of voter...
Read full story3200-year-old Egyptian Mummy Stuns NY Press
It was his first meeting with the press since being unearthed, and he chose the venue (Grand Central Station). He also chose the format. "I will be asking, not answering, questions," he told the startled crowd, continuing, "it's only fair that I go f...
Read full storyMelania Trump calls White House "A Dump"
New York, NY - Melania Trump returned from her visit at the White House residence and called her new home "a dump." She refused to speak with her husband, President-elect Donald J. Trump, for the entire helicopter ride home, and resorted to silent t...
Read full story14-Pound Bermuda Lobster Has His Say
"My weight is nobody's business but mine," huffed the lobster, in an interview with a reporter from The Spoof. The lobster continued, "It's an outrage. How would you like it if YOUR weight were the subject of discussion the world over?" And he's appalled at all the fat shaming on social media since he's been caught and brought onto land, "Why can't people just mind their own business?" he aske...
Read full storyO.J. Simpson Busted Again!
Las Vegas, NV While on a weekend pass to judge if he is a candidate for parole, O.J. Simpson was sent back to prison earlier than expected when he broke a display window at Vegas Trophies on W. Sahara in the city. "I just thought I saw some of my...
Read full storyTrump Appoints Head Of FBI James Comey To Supreme Court
When Rudy Giuliani heard that Donald Trump planned to appoint head of the FBI James Comey to the US Supreme Court, Giuliani went ballistic, claiming that the job was promised. Nah, Trump was reported as saying, adding that Comey gave him the White...
Read full storyWasserman Schultz Rewarded by Donald Trump
Debbie Wasserman Schultz was head of the Democratic National Committee (DNC) who devised a limited debate schedule for the Clinton-Sanders primary contest. She also scheduled the debates to be held at a time when viewing would be limited. All of t...
Read full storyScientists Believe Climate Change Is Caused By Mother Earth Reaching Menopause
In her younger days, scientists idolized Mother Earth and and called her the Goldilocks Planet because she was young, just right, full of life, and would perform the best magic tricks! Now after doing extensive research, scientists are hating on...
Read full storyPrankGate? Patriots' Gostkowski Terrorizing NFL Via Prank Calls
First there was SpyGate, then there was DeflateGate, and now… PrankGate? It's common knowledge amongst NFL fans that the New England Patriots seek out innovative and creative ways to gain a competitive advantage - often blurring the line between g...
Read full storyVermont deer attempt to flee to Canada after election results roll in.
Swanton, VT - Apparently terrified by the prospect of America's restored greatness, a group of Vermont deer made a failed attempt to cross the Canadian border Wednesday. The trespassers have been captured and taken into custody, and are currently awa...
Read full storyKanye Only Speaking With Doctors Using Auto-Tune Microphone
Los Angeles, CA - After his recent concert meltdown, rapper Kanye West is being treated for an extreme case of the 'Rubber Ramada Blues' at UCLA hospital. His Doctors state that he is 'nuttier than a fruitcake' and that he will only speak to them us...
Read full storyNew First Lady Melania Trump Announces Decorating Plans!
First Lady-to-be Melania Trump outlined her plans for the White House in a press conference from Trump Tower. The Mr. President-Elect Trump's First Lady, Melania, has been picking out gold draperies, and gold furniture for the Red Room of the White House. When asked why she would change the color of the Red Room to gold, Melania just laughed and said "But darling! Don't you see, gold trumps...
Read full storyNaked Voting: How Liberals Got Their Groove Back
The 2016 Presidential Election has been largely uninspiring and demoralizing for the left-leaning side of the Democratic Party. If your top concerns include global warning, corporate greed, toxic chemicals, alternative transportation and urban commun...
Read full storyDonald Trump Is The King Of Russian Spies
A top Russian diplomat & Vladimir Putin's spokesman came out of the closet Thursday. They admitted that Russian experts touched the Trump campaign more than once during the Presidential campaign and it felt so good. They said they were so happy P...
Read full storyCentral Park Five Take Out Ad Supporting Death Penalty For Donald Trump
In a surprising twist the men who were coerced as teens into making a false confession of rape are now openly calling for the death penalty to punish Donald Trump. The Central Park Five have even taken out an ad in the Daily News, the same newspaper...
Read full storyMelania To Lose Citizenship, Faces Deportation
Melania Trump, the wife of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump and an immigrant who came in a box to the U.S. from Lower Slabovia, was paid for 10 modeling jobs in 1996 before she received legal authorization to work in the United States, th...
Read full storySocks Speaks Out: Clintons' White House Cat Speaks Through Pet Psychic
Socks, the black and white tuxedo cat who was a Clinton family pet during the entire Bill Clinton presidency 1993-2001, contacted a medium, to weigh in on the 2016 presidential election. Speaking through Charisma Rhapsody, pet psychic, Socks spok...
Read full storyEpidemic of Falling leaves point to Climate Change
Dr. Paul Montgomery of Admiral University's Department of Climatic Intervention has been studying "a strange phenomenon that is occurring this Autumn and if memory serves me correctly, happened last autumn too" he said. Dr. Montgomery went o...
Read full storyCheetos to Sponsor Trump TV
Special to TPN - Cheetos' parent company, Frito-Lay, announced that it will be a primary sponsor of President-elect Trump's TV station, CRUD (Conservative Republicans Under Donald). "It's a natural fit," said Vivek Sankaran, COO of Frito-Lay North Am...
Read full storyKim Jong-Un Threatens "Utter Destruction" To China For Calling Him "Fattie"
Pyongyang, North Korea Kim Jong-Un, rotund DICtator of North Korea, was goaded into threatening to totally destroy China with nuclear weapons. "It is utterly unacceptable for His Eminence Kim Jong-Un to be treated this way. He is never going to let China live this down. One of the reporters even called him "His Fattiness" spoke the North Korean News Service. Chinese officials were quoted as...
Read full storyTiffany And Barron Mad At President-Elect Trump
Donald Trump's primary daughter, Ivanka, has been tapped for role on the president-elect's White House transition team, joining Trump's main son, Donald, Jr., and his third-favorite son, Eric. Trump's other daughter, Tiffany, the only child from his...
Read full storyTV Painter, Bob Ross, Actually Really Hated Meadows and Streams
Bob Ross became an instant TV celebrity with his easy-to-follow painting techniques on PBS in the late '80's. But now his long time Cameraman, Arty Rivers, has written a tell-all memoir about the painting zen-master, who actually detested nature in g...
Read full storyIs Melania Even In The Same Bed As Donald Trump?
In Pennsylvania yesterday Melania Trump, the wife of GOP candidate Donald Trump, gave a speech which said, in part, "America has become "too mean and too rough," and that as first lady she would attempt to correct this national defect. This promp...
Read full storyTrump's Wall Might Only Be a Fence in Some Areas, And Only Rows of Shubbery in Others
New York, NY Trump transition sources added more to the information about Trump's wall on the U.S./Mexico border. Earlier, the news was broken that Trump had said the wall might only be a fence in some places. Today, sources further admitted that man...
Read full storyThe Babysitter's Club Revokes Donald Trump's Twitter
After staying up all night playing Russian Roulette with America, I spy with Russia, and sniff & tweet with some nasty girls, Donald Trump is in trouble again! His team of babysitters woke up to chaos at the crack of Trump which turned into more...
Read full storyGlass Swear Box Sales Increase Dramatically After Trump Win
Seattle, WA - Sales of the "Glass Swear Box" have increased to unprecedented levels after Donald Tump's presidential election win. The box is a 7-foot glass enclosure in which owners can step in and vent all of their frustrations. A user can swear,...
Read full storyIvanka Trump Protects Demented Daddy Donald
Kellyanne Conway and Donald Trump's daughter, Ivanka, have called in a hypnotist to Trump Tower. Ronald P Johnson, world-renowned hypnotist, posed as an investor to get inside Trump's office. Inside sources reveal that once there he hypnotized the...
Read full storyDonald Trump Uses His $25 Million Get Out Of Jail Trump Card While Finding Ways To Keep Americans Distracted
The President Elect Donald Trump is involved in 4,000 lawsuits over the last 30 years and is currently facing 75 active lawsuits. The same man who once upon a time declared "I do not settle lawsuits", just used his $25 million get out of jail Trump c...
Read full storyCubs Win World Series; Christ Returns to Earth
CLEVELAND--In a move Vatican officials are calling "purely coincidental," to the Chicago Cubs' victory in the World Series, Jesus Christ, Son of God and Savior of Humanity, left His place at the right hand of the Father early Thursday morning, and ha...
Read full storyCelebrities Line Up Hoping to Be Pardoned by Obama Before He Leaves Office
Washington, DC It has long been a tradition for U.S. Presidents leaving office to pardon people. President Clinton pardoned 140 in the last days of his office. Some of the celebrities requesting meetings with Obama, besides the obvious like O.J. S...
Read full storyBackbone rebuilding surgery and diplomatic pouch protection products emerging after Trump victory
A variety of new products has swiftly emerged following Mr. Trump's victory and are smoothing the way into the new presidency. Medical experts have been concerned about candidates with the "nothing there" syndrome on repeated backbone tests. Th...
Read full storyGod Admits Rigging the World Series
God Almighty, aka Allah, the High Almighty, Jehovah, and Yahweh admits that he caused the World Series to go out to the full seven games. "I know it's unprecedented, but come on, I haven't ever interfered before, not even during that dreadful Blac...
Read full storyEinstein Time Travels to Present Day
"We were waiting for Professor Emory to come in and lecture on worm holes and spider webs" said Alice Benoit a post grad student at Princeton's applied Astrophysics and Stuff "when appearing out of nowhere an older gentleman with crazy white hair sto...
Read full storyFlute & Marino: Friends Forever
First they were friends on the football field, then they were friends in the fight against autism, and now they're friends in their fight to beat each other at mini-golf. Former star quarterbacks Doug Flutie and Dan Marino have been best buds for...
Read full storyTrump's Chief Jokes About Gays, Nazis, Jews, KKK
It didn't take a clairvoyant to predict that the press would almost instantly normalize President-elect Donald Trump since they had already normalized him when he was a candidate. After a 60 Minutes interview, Lesley Stahl declared him "more subdued...
Read full storyCoffee shop customer feels good about leaving a $20 tip.
Seattle, WA - Contemplating how utterly thrilled the staff of the local coffee shop must be, 32-year-old Brandon Reenberg felt good about himself Monday for leaving a remarkable tip. Sources confirm Mr. Reenberg had a vague, poorly concealed smile...
Read full storyIn 2024, Ivanka Trump will Become First Woman President
The year 2016 marks an important time in American politics which will be noted not by the fact that Donald Trump won for president but by the fact the Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton ran for president. Despite Jeb's and Hillary's losses, the 2016 election cycle will be considered the time that America embraced the concept of dynastic presidential politics, where the candidacies of a brother and...
Read full storyObama to Move Back to Africa as Mandela's Son
Cape Town, South Africa - The Government of South Africa has unofficially announced that President Barack Obama and his wife Michelle are relocating to South Africa after Obama's term ends in January. The Obamas reportedly are leaving their daughter...
Read full storyBusiness Euphemism of the Year
The new model started with tech companies like Net Flix and LinkedIn. These workplaces attract self-motivated and focused employees who are driven to succeed and who typically work long hours. These employees are also the type who are reluctant to ta...
Read full storyLiverpools Brexit Bounce
In a move that will infuriate Brexit supporters everywhere Liverpool are eying up the transfer of Iranian striker Sardar Azmoun from Russian side FC Rostov. Predictably the hard working British people have had their say on this national scandal.
Read full storyMove To Drug Test Gun Owners In Open Carry States
31 states in the U.S. allow citizens to openly carry their firearms. In 10 of these states , someone who applies for welfare cash assistance through the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) has to be screened and tested for substance abus...
Read full storyTrashlandia: Portlanders Embark to Found New Country on Floating Garbage
Not willing to sit by and see what happens under a Trump presidency, a hearty group of 55 pilgrims has already left Portland, Oregon with the first barge to start a new nation. Their destination, the huge and elusive Great Pacific Garbage Patch.
Read full storyThe American Dream Is Now The American Reality TV Show
There's a new flavor of the month reality show coming out every day and it's called America. Citizens are really excited because they have more opportunities to sit on the couch eating dictator tots, while watching the fly by lies become the truth ri...
Read full storyAnimal Farm, Part 7: Welcome to Napoleon Farm
Old Man Kennedy's Saturday boxers, red and tattered by the wind, were still waving in the wind at the top of the pole the pigs had put up. The terror level was still on high alert. Nothing had changed, except that it had gotten worse. When Scylla and Charidibis woke that morning and went the yard to chase their tails a bit before breakfast, they saw another slaughtered boar. It was mangled in...
Read full storyAdele helps pregnant mothers by telling them; "It aint no fun being a mum!"
One of Britain's most famous exports, singer/songwriter Adele, has decided to go public and warned pregnant mother's about having babies, she say's "being a mum aint no fun!" Adele just happened to be paid a couple of million for telling her despe...
Read full storyMessi's Manchester Mess
Lionel Messi will escape any punishment for his childish outburst after his side were comprehensively beaten by Arab club Manchester City. The Argentinean whinger was visibly upset when the referee refused to award Barcelona a penalty or send a o...
Read full storyNo "Tweet-In-Chief": Trump blames late night rants on sonambulism
President-elect Trump has declined to take responsibility for late night messages on his Twitter account. "I never said that," was Mr. Trump's response to questions about the Constitutionality of some of his comments. The President-elect was pr...
Read full storyTurkeys vote for Christmas
In a shock election result, turkeys have voted in favour of Christmas for the first time since they gained the right to hold elections in 1845. In every year since then, turkeys have voted firmly against the Yuletide feast. However, this year a popul...
Read full storyFatty tax on airlines to be implemented world wide!
After Samoa Airlines introduced a "fatty tax" on their planes new airline legislation is being implemented world wide by Airline Authorities, not Ryanair, they just hate overweight baggage because their fat passengers do not fit in their narrow seats...
Read full storyTrump Concedes, Calls Clinton to Congratulate Her
In a shocking turn of events Donald Trump has conceded the Election and admitted defeat to Hillary Clinton. Nearly 24 hours before the polls will close out west. Trump appeared on CNN at Trump Tower in Bogata, Idaho. "Let's get this right America!...
Read full storyHillary sells her witches paraphernalia on EBAY
Clinton Estate - According to our anonymous source, who wishes to be known only as "Bill", Hillary has been secluding herself in the basement where she has collected all her witches equipment: Broom with extra thick handle, black candles made from th...
Read full storyOriginal Bible Discovered
The original Holy Text was discovered this week at a remote Middle Eastern location no one has ever heard of. Using radio carbon dating, researchers were able to determine that the bible was approximately 4,000 years old, eerily close to two times 2...
Read full storyStokes In Possible Jailhouse Rock
Blackburn Rovers superstar striker Anthony Stokes has pleaded guilty to attacking an Elvis impersonator one night out in the ghetto. The 28 year old has was described as having a "wooden heart" by the prosecutor displayed a lack of empathy as he ente...
Read full storyBrexit Voters To Face Prosecution
Activists from the EU referendum Remain Campaign are continuing with plans to pursue criminal prosecutions for many of those who voted to leave the EU. 'We do not wish to be divisive or retaliatory,' said a spokesman for the activists, 'but advice...
Read full storyAnimal Farm, Part 9: The Pipeline
Marksy - along with all the other horses - had no idea what "subsistence" meant, but they were told by Murdoch that they could look it up if they needed to. They didn't know how or where to look things up, so Murdoch told them the "truth," as he put it, telling the horses it meant "just enough to survive" for right now. The Boar also told the horses that it was just temporary, and that once the...
Read full storyDonald Trump Accused of Failure at not being President for a Week
Donald Trump is facing harsh criticism for the job he is doing as a citizen. "Wow, this guy won the election a whole week ago and he hasn't even started being president yet. What were we thinking?" said Skip Homeyer of the Whipperford Post web...
Read full storyWill The Real Donald Trump Please Stand Up?
In early November 2016, Scotland's first minister, Nicola Sturgeon, expressed more clearly than many other world leaders the hope that Donald Trump, when in office, would be very different from the Donald Trump she had witnessed on the presidential c...
Read full storyJesus Comes Out of the Closet … Or Does He?
What a week it has been for the Son of the Almighty. Tuesday, Jesus himself was seen at the Tampa's infamous The Honey Pot night club, a night spot known for its super-hot drag show. A copy of Jesus's bar tab reveals he and his "posse" of Lucif...
Read full storyMom discovers communication potential of emoji
Medicine Park, OK - Fascinated by the whole new world opening up before her, local mother of two discovered emoji Thursday. Samantha Briggs, 54, is reportedly sending record amounts of texts and Facebook messages just so she could use the new means o...
Read full storySaudi Cash Injection
According to a think tank of "investment consultants" (read: probable wankers) a large group of Saudi Arabian investors are looking to invest in a number of "top London" football clubs. A statement which immediately ruled Tottenham Hotspur out of the...
Read full storyTrump Will Prove Bill Clinton Was Jack the Ripper
Gross, Nebraska From the campaign trail, Trump delivered the news that he said has recently been discovered by historians hired by the Trump organization, that Bill Clinton was, in fact, Jack the Ripper! "We have learned of some documents that wil...
Read full storyChristie Lists NJ Mansion on Airbnb, Becomes an Uber Driver
Trenton, NJ - After the great "purge" of NJ Governor Chris Christie and his cronies from Donald Trump's presidential transition team, Christie has started his new career as an Uber driver. Originally Christie hoped for the vice presidential nod, a...
Read full storyTrump Wants To Host The Apprentice In White House
Donald Trump has a global empire worth billions and he owes hundreds of millions of dollars to foreign lenders, including the government-owned Bank of China. He has business interests in at least 14 countries, many authoritarian regimes. Although p...
Read full storyTrump's Great America To Deport Teenage Babysitter for Tax Evasion
Austin, TX - A local babysitter of Mexican descent was arrested yesterday for failing to pay taxes on income earned while babysitting. The babysitter, a 15-year old juvenile, will be arraigned in Federal court on Tuesday. The girl, whose name is...
Read full storyWork place violence exposes Super Hero's Identity
Did he freak? Listen Bud, on his hands he's got innocent blood. New York free-lance photographer Peter Parker has been exposed as the Amazing Spider Man! The shocking revelation came about after Mr. Parker was arrested for hurling his now deceased...
Read full storyTrump Announces New Cabinet Appointees-Coincidentally, Most Are Former Celebrity Apprentice Contestants
Trump Tower, NY Trump gave his 18th press conference in 4 days to announce more of his selections for his Cabinet. "Many people have remarked that many of my selections came from my old TV show, Celebrity Apprentice. Well, I was secretly trying a...
Read full storyTrump Creates "Department of War" Cheney To Be Head
Donald Trump said today that the term "Defense Department" is "kind of PC but we'll keep the department going with Donald Rumsfeld at the helm." He continued, "During the campaign I said that I'd bomb the sh*t out of ISIS and kill the women and chil...
Read full storyMark Twain Returns To Earth, Says Whites "Drug Addicted Rapists"
Mark Twain befriended figures such as Harriet Beecher Stowe and Frederick Douglass, wrote that slavery dehumanizes both the slave and slaveowner, and wrote a series of articles protesting discrimination against Chinese immigrants and exposing police...
Read full storyUS citizens mesmerized by today's great election! Donald Duck v Minnie Mouse!
US citizens have been voting in one of the greatest useless elections ever to be had; is Donald Duck more popular than Minnie Mouse (Chosen because of his and hers gender bender allegiances)? November the eighth will go down in US history as total...
Read full storyUSA to Split into Two Countries
Washington, DC - With anti-Trump protests occurring along the two U.S. coasts, the US House and Senate are proposing an emergency bill to split the United States into two countries. Donald J. Trump will serve as President of the United Middle Sta...
Read full storyNo Need for Tenses?
While it is commonly acknowledged by physicists that time is an illusion, people continue to ignore this by using the past tense and the future tense in their speech. One person who acknowledges and promotes this time/space continuum fact is Billy P…
Read full storyGrammy To Go To David Foster Wallace
The Grammy Music Awards committee will posthumously name writer David Foster Wallace as a recipient of a Lifetime achievement award in February. The news was met with quizzical looks and murmurs of "WTH?" Joyce Muenzler, a self described "huge...
Read full storyWhite House Staff begins baby proofing measures in preparation for president Trump
The White House staff was in full swing as measures are put in place in expectation of the needs of incumbent president Trump. "The first thing we did was put baby proof door knobs on all of the military related areas," stated Denis Richard McDo...
Read full storyPresident-elect Trump to Become Honorary Scoutmaster
Special to TPN - Boy Scouts of America president Randall Stephenson announced that President-elect Donald Trump will become an honorary scoutmaster at the organization's National Jamboree to be held in July 2017. "Mr. Trump exemplifies all those...
Read full storyBob Dylan's Nobel Due to "Wiggle Wiggle"
Details have emerged about Bob Dylan's winning of the Nobel Prize for Literature, an event which sent shock waves thru the literary world. Per Wastberg, head of the Nobel Committee for Literature, has explained the reasons for the selection. "Mai...
Read full storyRussian Attempt to Reduce Voter Turnout Backfires
The 2016 presidential election has been full of talk about Russian involvement. WikiLeaks released repeated batches of emails related to the Democratic Party. U.S. intelligence agencies traced the leaks to Russian hackers sanctioned by the Russian go...
Read full storyMonica Lewinsky Leaked Hillary Clinton's Email Password
Today U.S. intelligence services confirmed Monica Lewinsky, the infamous White House intern whose sole claim to fame is having performed fellatio on President Bill Clinton, leaked Hillary's email password to Wikileaks. Intelligent source are 100% co...
Read full storyWho's Unelectable Now? A Message from Bernie Sanders.
Hi, this is Bernie Sanders. I just wanted to remind you Democrats how you didn't want me for your nominee. Sure, I might have lost. But I might have lost with some dignity and brought some integrity back to the Democratic Party. I could have brought some white men back into the party, but you didn't want that. Oh no You said, We don't need any white men in our Party, we can win just fine without t...
Read full storyTrump may run for Pope next
Presidential hopeful Donald Trump has said that after leading the US he would like to be Pope next. "I'd be a great Pope," the orange pussy-grabber stated. "I'd run the Vatican like a business. And we'd let women in. Really nice women." Politic...
Read full storyDonald Trump Favored to Win New York City Marathon
The plethora of media coverage Donald Trump has garnered in his feisty presidential campaign appears to have yielded some rather unexpected results; polls now show that Trump is not only neck-and-neck with Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton in the...
Read full storyDutch ducks Doomsday!
Confirming the common known fact that the utilisation of an ancient cliché, "Double Dutch" means you are completely NUTS; the Dutch government have proven to the world that it's utterly true! The Dutch duck population is about to be culled because...
Read full storyWashington Redskins to change team name
"I apologize for offending our native Americans. It was never the intention of the Washington football team to discredit or abuse these great people but in realizing that the inference exists I have decided to change the name of the Redskins"...
Read full storyYoung White Men 'Excited' to Ruin Country With Third-Party Vote
NEW YORK, NY - A mere twenty-four hours before Election Day, it appears there's one group of voters Hillary Clinton still hasn't managed to win over: young, white men. A recent survey revealed that this group is overwhelmingly reluctant to cast their...
Read full storyTrump Vows To "Renovate" the Bill of Rights
If anyone in this "great" land knows anything about renovation, it may well be presidential hopeful Donald J. Trump. A veteran of the real estate industry for several decades now, Trump surely has renovated his share of properties, buildings and eve...
Read full storyTrump Gives 6 Reasons To Vote For Him
Donald Trump has given an amazing closing speech about why he should be elected President in 2016. It can be broken down into different parts about why he should be elected according to Mr. Trump: 1) "People say I suffer from a pathological na...
Read full storyAnimal Farm Revisited, part 5: Old george Has a Modest Proposal
Old George Has a Modest Proposal Bernard had rallied his spirits as his first - some say primary - loss at the gate, the Infamous Loss at the Gate as he began to think of it. Yet, somehow after chasing some cats around the yard and yapping at the humans who were passing by, Bernard felt a little better. He scampered lively into the center yard where all the animals milled about early...
Read full storyAmericans Shouldn't Pay Taxes Unless They Are Fair
To provide a framework for this story, let it be reported that In the U.S. people making an average of $75,000 pay an effective federal tax rate of 20%. But CEO Tim Crook has decided that Pear Corporation, makers of computers and smart phones doe...
Read full storyAttorney Makes No Bones About Popeyes Chicken Lawsuit Gulfport, MS
A Gulfport Mississippi attorney who said he choked on the bones in Popeyes' fried chicken last year believes a warning label placed on the bones beneath the meat could have prevented all his anxiety, pain and suffering. Now he's suing to get warning...
Read full storyNation Agrees: It's A Good Time to Legalize Marijuana
As the nation woke up to the reality that reality TV star Donald Trump had actually become the President of the U.S., they began to collectively say, "Well, at least pot's legal!" "As we lose all our rights under a Trump presidency, almost half th...
Read full storyPeroxide Hoarding Reported in Nation's Capitol Following Trump Victory
The small supply room at Color Me Crazy, a Northwest Washington DC salon, is bursting to capacity. Yesterday it doubled as a break room for 4 stylists but today, bottles of peroxide and noxious gas fill the space. "We haven't ordered peroxide in at...
Read full storyScamology Knocked Down to 104th Most Popular Cult After Cable Documentary About Them
Adherents of Scamology recently denied that their cult had slipped in popularity, no longer one of the Top 100 Cults. Meanwhile, they continued to flood the airwaves and Internet with denunciations of the Big Star that has narrated a cable documentar...
Read full storyHillary Clinton Loses An Erection
Hillary Clinton became the lasted casualty of presidential candidates who have lost an erection. Hers came today an hour past midnight, although she did not impart unto the world this information until early this afternoon. Hillary should not be...
Read full storyTrump's election victory proves voters are getting dumber, say scientists
Humanologists from the Dumas Institute, Paris, have analysed US election results going back nearly two hundred years and have reached some staggering conclusions. Voters are now less intelligent than ever before, and are making worse choices for thei...
Read full storyAmurexit from NAFTA TPP Wall Street and Global Policeman
Despite the continuing wailing and tears and gnashing of teeth from angry Hillary supporters, the Trump Party is officially the winner of the 2016 presidential election. Foremost now in all the post-election sound and fury is the new United States...
Read full storyDemocratic Party Liberals Praise Trump Appointees
"We are the party of the common man," recently said Sen. Chuck Schumer, leading Democrat in the U.S. Senate. And Rep. Lois Maybee (D) of Rhode Island stated, "You can count on us to protect the civil liberties of all Americans." Rep. John Johnson (...
Read full storyHouse Republicans Shocked to Learn 18th Time's Isn't A Charm
"I could've sworn this influx of duplicate emails we've already seen before would present us with some new information." After completing his review of the recently discovered email collection, FBI Director James Comey has stated that no addition...
Read full storyPosthoorn Interview no. 5: Tom 'Brexit prepper' or 'Nexit prepper"?
Tom, from Scotland, has lived in The Netherlands since 1972 and has a Dutch wife. The reporter of the world famous weekly newspaper The Posthoorn (chosen by 75% of their readers as their favourite alternative cat litter) passes Tom's pub on his way t...
Read full storyOccupancy Rate at Trump Hotels Drops Below 25%
Special to TPN - A former advisor to President-elect Donald Trump has revealed that the real-estate magnate's properties have suffered in the aftermath of his presidential campaign. The advisor, Punksky Borinskovich, once Russian President Vladimir P...
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