Christie Lists NJ Mansion on Airbnb, Becomes an Uber Driver

Funny story written by Mike Peril

Friday, 18 November 2016

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"We all need to look ourselves in the mirror," says Christie

Trenton, NJ - After the great "purge" of NJ Governor Chris Christie and his cronies from Donald Trump's presidential transition team, Christie has started his new career as an Uber driver.

Originally Christie hoped for the vice presidential nod, and then a cabinet position. But after being purged by Trump's son-in-law, Jared Kushner, from Trump's inner circle, Christie thought he would serve America and the Trump administration best by becoming an Uber driver.

Christie purchased the Uber Medallion for $300,000 from the Port Authority of NY & NJ, in a reported deal to forget about Bridgegate, "like it never happened." Christie denied the reciprocal deal, but held up his Uber Medallion for all to see.

"Here is my ticket to freedom!" he reportedly said.

Meanwhile, Christie's wife, Mary Pat, has listed the NJ Governor's mansion on Airbnb for rentals of up to "one year".

Insiders state that Christie is "livid" that he will not be a part of the Trump cabinet but hopes that a cabinet member will need his Uber driving services or at least stay overnight at his mansion.

Having put Kushner's father in jail as an overly zealous prosecutor who targeted Democrats solely to advance his political career, Christie did himself no favors, says one insider.

Mary Pat Christie rolled her eyes at the reporters, stating, "He's got 22 percent approval rating, the embarrassing Bridgegate scandal, and his idol Bruce Springsteen thinks he is pathetic. What more? Just leave us alone. We need to make a living too, and Chris is already coming home every night and crying himself to sleep."

On his first trip out, Christie drove his green Pinto over a curb into the sunset, and his car was completely filled with junk, including pictures of himself hugging President Obama, Time Magazine covers about elephants, toilet bowl plungers, a sleeping bag, pillows, and multiple bags of laundry.

Christie ignored reporters' questions and looked at himself in the rear view mirror of the car as he put on his cabbie cap. He sped off the wrong way down a one-way street, just missing a motorcyclist, while giving the NY Times reporter behind him the middle finger.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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